Finally, I Have An Excuse To Write About How Much I Like Bonde Do Role: Bonde Do Role Tour

Bonde do Role is the kind of band we'd start together. You know, the one where we’d just cut up samples and loop them over some loud, funky beats, and then all shout into microphones like crazy people? And we’d writhe around the stage and hump each other and bring fans up on stage and then hump them too? And fuck the FCC, because we’d use any samples we wanted! We’d even illegally sample music that sucks! That would show them! It would be so awesome!

Well, that band already exists, and it is awesome. Bonde do Role were the first artists signed to Diplo’s Mad Decent label, which makes them far realer than our proposed band. Other cool points they have over our band include:

- Their first LP, With Lasers, came out June 5, and it is totally sweet.
- They were featured in Rolling Stone, the only magazine that still has the guts to tell the truth about music.
- They are a baile funk group from Brazil, which is a much cooler scene than the collective space in front of our laptops.
- They use funk carioca beats in their songs; we'd use mostly Apple Loops.
- They make music videos like this; we'd make music videos like this.

This fall, MCs Marina Vello and Pedro D’Eyrot, along with MC/DJ Rodrigo Gorky, will cause boners to be popped all across the North American continent. They will play shows nearly every day for a month, only taking brief breaks to apply Marina’s more severe hair dyes. We should totally see them. Check out this video if you don’t believe me! Come on, this will be cooler than that time we found that pineapple full of bees!

At least we knew about their tour before Todd did:

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