Frog Eyes Divide MDs Everywhere and Tour (Oh, and They’re Not Emo)

My first exposure to Frog Eyes came at a college radio station. The MD that reviewed it pissed and moaned about how terrible Carey Mercer’s voice was. Naturally, I listened to it and nearly croaked right there... how could people hear this and not devour it like a tall stack ‘o Aunt Jemima pancakes? From there it was all over for me. I delighted in the bright-yellow shower that was The Golden River, shook The Bloody Hand, and read the fortune of The Folded Palm. Then I realized that the guy reviewing it was kind of a wiener (pronounced, ‘veener’). A harmless wiener, but a wiener nonetheless.

As the weeks went by, he blessed me with several other nuggets of information, including:

a) Minus The Bear are ‘emo’

b) the best thing to do when someone catches you talking shit is to go, “Whaaaaaaaaat?” in a high-pitched voice

c) Mono “totally copy Mogwai”

d) when you first get off a plane it’s completely OK — in fact, preferred — to give Grantie your bags/coat and run to the Mens Room for 25 minutes

e) if it ain’t VU, mid-tempo, alt. country-inspired indie-rock or something released in the early- to mid-’80s it ain’t no damn good

f) Shuggee Otis is the only funk musician worth knowing about

g) simply being vagi-, I mean vegetarian isn’t enough; you must also make comments or groan every time a co-worker eats a piece of meat in your presence... unless it’s fish, because fish totally can’t like, feel and stuff... and chicken, because it’s totally like, not really meat anyway

h) it is totally and completely possible to fall desperately in love with someone in Texas over the course of three days

i) if you talk to a girl once or twice you have “dibs” for the next six months

j) gaining five pounds is a tragedy

k) it is totally and completely possible for a dude to be lovable and personable despite the quirks listed above

Although Frog Eyes probably don't know this dude, I just KNOW they wrote all nine of the songs from upcoming album Tears of the Valedictorian (to be dropped May 1) for him.

Contact your local music director for more sooper-fun tips for living:

Tracklist for Valedictorian:

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