Setting: The Warsaw Club, Brooklyn, watching The Constantines
Characters: Myself, my +1 Jess
Jess [surveying the stage]: Where's the cute one? Where'd he go?
HV: Jess, they're twins.
Jess: No, they're not. No, they're not. That one's cuter.
HV: He can't be cuter. They're twins. [starting to feel like she's in the Chris Kattan/Jimmy Fallon SNL sketch where they score dates with twins, and the Rachel Dratch twin has a baby doll arm growing out of her head]
Jess: Hey, little dude, I swear, I like that one better.
HV: [gesturing wildly] You're not wearing any fucking glasses!
Jess: Yes, I am. Oh. No, I'm not. Fine. [Puts on her glasses] Oh. They're both pretty cute. [Pointing at stage] Heyyy! Heyyy.
HV: I need another drink.
Brooklyn Lager goes well with these dates, but you might have troubles finding it, eh?: