Grizzly Bear, My Second Favorite “Bear” Artist, Are Set To Embark on A Three-Month Tour

Naming trends are incredibly fun in the music world. One has to wonder if we'll eventually run out of words in the English language to accompany the myriad of bands that are sure to keep forming until the very End of Time. I suppose we can continue borrowing from other languages (e.g. Telefon Tel Aviv, Xiu Xiu, Les Savy Fav, Gastr Del Sol, Le Tigre, etc.), but this undoubtedly brings up other problems such as registering domain names, and everyone knows about those goddamn cyber squatters and why the internet is running out of addresses. And then, probably most prevalent in our world, there's the problem with band names all using the same words, like "wolf."

I could list some "wolf" bands, but we're not talking about wolves today. We're talking about bears. As I mentioned in the headline, my favorite "bear" artist isn't Grizzly bear. No, my friend, it's Panda Bear. Besides, onclick="window.open('http://www.fragilityproductions.com/weblog/pandabear.htm','popup','width=360,height=341,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false">he's much cuter than that Grizzly Bear dude (Dan Rosen), and his autograph is also a cute li'l panda! Aw. But alas, we're talking about Grizzly Bear and their tasty brand of rock that so many people have come to love. Here at TMT, we crowned their 2006 release, Yellow House, number seven on our favorite albums of 2006, and Filmore gave the album a solid four outta five in his review. With a TMT track record like that, how can you go wrong with Grizzly Bear? You can't -- you just can't.

Check out Grizzly Bear in these fine cities:

(As far as the naming of Grizzly Bear goes, I'd much rather have a more original name like Grizzly Poot, and as far as Panda Bear goes, I'd also prefer something like Panda Poot. I just think "poot" is a much better word than "bear." Besides pandapoot.com is totally available. So aspiring indie artists, name your band Panda Poot and you'll get to the top. I promise. You better hurry though; Yahoo is having a domain sale, and I just might squat on the domain until you can cough up enough cash and casual sex for me to give it to you. Think about it, kiddies.)

YouTube To Host Amateur Hip-Hop Contest, P. Diddy to Watch, To Be Inspired by the Passionate Hip-Hop Youth, To Get Back With J Lo and Stop Channeling Latent Sexual Frustration into New Seasons of Making the Band; or Shoezies are an Undisputed Favorite of Indie Culture

There are few things, reader, baby, sweetheart, that you and I get hot-pants over more than a good old-fashioned, itchy-spicy-good,

Well-Intentioned, Sure-to-Fail, Bad Idea.

Take Shoezies. A few years ago, someone at Hasbro thought kids would get a kick out of (literally) miniature shoes you could fit on your fingers and pretend to walk around with on coffee tables, and the like.

...

Shoezies were, in all honesty, just mini-shoes that little girls would put on their fingers, and pretend were shoes.

...

THIS IS NOT A JOKE. That was it. Mini-shoes, in mini-shoeboxes.

...

Without further ado, allow me to introduce a similarly smooth ‘n’ tasty little cultural Robo-trip, a most filthy, stagnant gulp from ye rusted goblet of The Way Things Are, in the same vein as my wicked-fav finger shoes.

YouTube plans to host a hip-hop-it-don’t-stop competition: You Tube “OnTheRise” Rap Edition, which will allow unsigned artists to upload videos and be judged by such jam-tastic greats (...) as 50 Cent, Common, and Polow da Don, who will select 20 finalists from the broz and (probably only there for novelty) hoz who choose to apply. YouTube members will vote August 29, and a winner will be announced September 7.

The contest is open for entry August 10 (today), and will close in, yes, seven days, which, is prolific as shit.

So, what’s the earth-shattering Shoezie-type dilemma of a well-intentioned competition that could shoot a worthy lad or lady to blingtastic stardom?

People like me may apply.

Okay, seriously, I would never apply, but I still smell a Shoezie-type dilemma in this cultural waste product. YouTube has proven itself a hotbed for potty-mouthed frat-boy humor, and I can only imagine how THIS SHITFEST will just... desecrate... everything Curtis Jackson’s dollar-splittin’ success stands for.

Like, sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

Vitamin Water, and more importantly, providing appropriate background music for bad-ass 14 year olds in Lee Pipes sitting in their basement with friends (who are also in Lee Pipes), huffing paper bags colored with Hi-liter.

Hip-hop will be so dead, fellas.

Grinderman Tours Australia

Find your own tourdates.

Get Paid to Find Infringing YouTube Videos for $11/Hour!

With benefits? Fuck if I know. What I do know, and what the Wall Street Journal told me, is that a Silicon Valley company called BayTSP ("Solutions for Digital Rights Holders") has hired over 20 analysts to do some diggin' around on YouTube and other sites for $11/hr. What, for the Growing Pains music intro? Boob shots of the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond? Some other funny/weird video that relates to some shitcom? Maybe when no one's looking. But these "analysts" are supposed to be searching for infringing material on behalf of their clients (which may very well include cleavage from the wife on Everybody Loves Raymond, now that I think about it), that is, videos that are copyrighted and illegally posted on YouTube.

Most BayTSP client names are kept confidential for "contractual reasons," but Viacom is listed as one. Seeing as though most of the clients are TV and movie studios, it wouldn't be too hard to figure out the remaining four, but fuck the muppet; the point is, with the vast amount of content generated on YouTube, it takes a concerted effort to track down infringing material. And since Google's hyped filtering system isn't in effect yet (it is expected to be released this fall, but we've heard that before), I guess the copyright infringing videos for now are job creators! Way to go!

Word to the wise: If you posted a video on YouTube and get a take-down notice, you better hope BayTSP's 0.1% error percentage includes your upload.

Polka America Corporation Rolls Out the Barrels of Polka Pain on Sound Exchange And All The Polka Haters of the World; Polka Medleys Of The Chili Pepper’s “Give It Away” Echo Through Hill And Vale

I won’t bore you with the typical David-and-Goliath analogy uppity writers like to spurt anytime a nobody nobody’s ever heard of starts picking fights with an evil corporation doing evil corporation-type shit. No way. This is more of a modern-day Fraggle Rock. You see, the Fraggles and the Gorgs each use radishes in their own way (radishes, in this case, being the internet licensing of polka music). And while the Gorgs believe themselves to be King and Queen of the Universe, they are, in reality, living an un-enriched life of assholedom, in effect oppressing the cute, songster Fraggles. Cue Fraggle mischief which ruefully points out Gorg inaneness, plus a big pile of trash (physical manifestation of the internet?!?) teeming with wisdom. Everything is interconnected -- and I’m not even going to get into the Doozers.

Nay, not since Connecticut librarians stood up for our right to lend Chicken Soup for the Enterprising Jihadist’s Soul in anonymity has a more unlikely, and duly respectable, contingent sought to challenge the status quo. But it’s not necessarily all Good v. Evil, like the guys upstairs like to make it out to be (to bring it back to Fraggle Rock, those are the “Silly Creatures of Outer Space”).

In a Fraggle-like move, the Polka America Corporation is working to provide an easy alternative to SoundExchange’s licensing program for the polka community. PAC, who is registering interested artists on its website, plans to license the artists’ music to qualifying stations free of charge. By an agreement with SoundExchange, PAC can license music in its database to “Internet polka broadcasters,” which include the online streams of “internet websites broadcasting polka music, all non-commercial educational radio stations that broadcast polka music, and commercial radio stations that simulcast on the Internet who have more than fifty (50) percent station polka programming.” Those stations would then be exempt from having to pay SoundExchange the equivalent fees for PAC licensed music. Stations that play non-PAC registered polka music would still be subject to SoundExchange regulations, and artists that sign up for the internet radio free polka can work with SoundExchange to collect their royalties for commercial and satellite radio broadcasts.

Basically, Wired’s The Listening Post Blog contains some discussion/information on how easy/hard this is to do, which situations such an agreement would apply to, various ways one can opt out of SoundExchange’s program, etc. etc.

It’s all very confusing, I assure you.

NASA (WHO?) Featuring David Byrne, Chali 2na, Gift of Gab, Z-Trip, E-40, Method Man, DJ Swamp, RZA, John Frusciante, Barbie Hatch, KRS-One, Fatlip, Slim Kid Tre, Seu Jorge, Ras Congo, Seu Jorge, Ras Congo, Karen O, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Lovefoxxx, Amanda Blank, Sizzla, Gift of Gab, Tom Waits, Kool Keith, RZA, Nina Persson, George Clinton, Kool Kojak, M.I.A. Spank Rock, Nick Zinner, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, and DJ Qbert (WHAT)

I know you only scanned that list. Read it again.

Okay.

Apparently Spike Jonze has more pull than I knew. His brother Squeak E Clean (Sam Spiegel) and DJ Zegon (If I may repeat... WHO?) are releasing a currently untitled disc under the name NASA, featuring a cast of all-stars that rivals the Battle of The Network Reality Stars.

I don’t understand, and they have not been all that forthcoming with details (not that I actually attempted contacting them). But this disc is actually original material and a direct fuck you to Gregg Gillis.

Seriously, did you fully read that list? WHAT? EXCUSE ME?

In addition to snagging every single relevant living human being to record a track (I hear Obama and Travolta actually play uncredited hype men on the outro), he has gotten on that Jesus-tip and brought back O.D.B. Well, either that or, like pac (I’m TOTALLY going to be getting hatemail), he has been faking his death and was coaxed out of it by the gyrations of Karen O who will be dropping a verse on the same track.

LOOK AT THE GUEST APPEARANCES. LOOK.

....

TOM WAITS

....

WHAT

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS

TOM. WAITS.

The fifth song has no one on it... odds are that Jeff Mangum will be singing at least the hook.

SERIOUSLY COME ON.

Additionally each track will have an animated short co-written by Spike Jonze. That somehow seems less impressive than the track list.

WHAT

...................................


Tracklist:

1. Intro
2. The People Tree [ft. David Byrne, Chali 2na, Gift of Gab, and Z-Trip]
3. NASA Music [ft. E-40, Method Man, and DJ Swamp]
4. Way Down [ft. RZA, John Frusciante, and Barbie Hatch]
5. Hip Hop [ft. KRS-One, Fatlip, and Slim Kid Tre]
6. Four Rooms, Earth View
7. Money [ft. David Byrne, Seu Jorge, Ras Congo, and Z-Trip]
8. Strange Enough [ft. Karen O, Ol' Dirty Bastard, and Fatlip]
9. Samba Hey (Portuguese Version) [ft. Seu Jorge]
10. A Volta [ft. Lovefoxxx, Amanda Blank, and Sizzla]
11. The Ultimate [ft. Fatlip and Gift of Gab]
12. Spacious Thoughts [ft. Tom Waits and Kool Keith]
13. Electric Flowers [ft. RZA and Nina Persson]
14. There's a Party [ft. George Clinton]
15. O Pato [ft. Kool Kojak]
16. Whachadoin? [ft. M.I.A., Spank Rock, and Nick Zinner]
17. Samba Soul [ft. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and DJ Qbert]
18. I Am God [ft. Kool Kojak]

Outro