Guy Hands Says Terra Firma Might Have “Paid Too Much” to Rescue EMI

By Nobodaddy on

Umm, are we to take it those new Beatles records aren’t reaching their “earning potential”??

Nice, soft, pillowy TMT punchline Guy Hands and his whacky-yet-lovable British private equity firm Terra Firma (that’s “solid ground,” don’t you know) Capital Partners Ltd have certainly been hard at work improving the bottom line of ill-famed, ill-fated, sloppy eater, messy houseguest, gassy sleeper, and crumbling worldwide music conglomerate EMI. But hey, to borrow a phrase from EMI’s own hallowed catalogue, just because you’re “fixin’ a hole where the rain gets in” doesn’t mean that you don’t still have a serious fucking termite problem to figure out.

In other words, there’s still a whole mess of problems over there, as evidenced by Guy’s very decorous but still pretty unmistakably Eggs Benedict-on-face statement that Terra Firma might have “paid too much money” for the lead-lined ocean liner of such stars as The Beatles and Coldplay. The ailing music group accounted for the vast majority of Terra Firma's $1.96 billion writedowns this year and Terra Firma was forced to inject extra capital into EMI twice in just six months (including a $46 million “injection” this past May to keep the company within the terms of its debt agreements. Ouch. Sounds painful.)

Hands, currently the Chief Investment Officer, said that Terra Firma has certainly succeeded thus far in boosting the earnings at EMI‘s recorded music division to about 160 million pounds ($263 million) last year from around $82 million when they first purchased ‘er in 2007. But he nevertheless admitted during his speech at a Dow Jones private equity conference on Thursday that “if the EMI auction started two weeks later, it wouldn’t have occurred. We wouldn’t have bought it. We’d have 90 percent of our funds still to invest and we’d look like geniuses.” Damn hell-ass geniuses, Guy.

Two weeks later? No, Hands isn’t just being a Grizzly Bear fan. See, Terra Firma flew its ill-fated $6.5 billion buyout of the tale-spinning, nose-diving EMI at the height of the buyout boom, a.k.a. right before that credit crunch thing. Regret city. Solid ground? Here we come.

Members of Radiohead Keep Doin’ Stuff: “Ed O’Brien Delivers a Speech” Edition

By Liz Louche on 09-23-2009

A member of Radiohead, the band that just keeps giving, is once again doing something notable. While vocalist Thom Yorke is busy trying to convince you to go green, and Jonny Greenwood is personally spaying and neutering listeners’ pets*, guitarist Ed O’Brien is quietly preparing to deliver the keynote address January 23 at MidemNet, the digital music business conference in Cannes. O’Brien is a board member of the Featured Artists Coalition and will be speaking about Radiohead’s online efforts, along with different possibilities for building the artist/fan relationship in this computer age.

Also speaking will be Michael Gudinski, founder of the Australian Mushroom Group of Companies. His Mushroom Records is the largest independent in Australia and is perhaps most famous for signing pop superstar/Nick Cave collaborator Kylie Minogue.

* Not true. Don’t sue!

RIP: Trevor Rhone, Co-Writer of The Harder They Come Film

By Shane Mack on 09-23-2009

From The New York Times (via The Daily Swarm):

Trevor Rhone, the award-winning Jamaican playwright, director and actor who brought his island’s culture to the world as a writer of the groundbreaking film “The Harder They Come,” died on Tuesday in Kingston, Jamaica, where he lived. He was 69.

The cause was apparently a heart attack, his wife, Camella, said.

Renowned throughout the Caribbean for plays like “Smile Orange” and “Old Story Time,” Mr. Rhone helped pioneer Jamaica’s indigenous theater, bringing pitch-perfect dialect and character studies to the local stage.

- Trevor Rhone official website
- Trevor Rhone Wikipedia entry

Expect Sweat, Crack, and Maybe a Boner: Har Mar Superstar Announces Tour

By Kid Midnight on 09-23-2009

Ever since I was a little boy, I've had the same dream. And yet, at my current age, I can still only recall bits and pieces of this recurring vision. The single image that stands out, fully visualized, is of course the most mystifying: I’m in a dark bar, neon lights glowing brightly, the sound of laughter and the clink of glasses filling my ears. Lights suddenly illuminate a small stage, and the audible pop of a microphone being inserted into an amp shocks me into awareness. My eyes remain fixated on the stage.

A man enters the spotlight; his skin is covered in thick, sweaty hair, barely covered by clothes. He gazes voluptuously and eagerly into the crowd, giving us all a quick glance. The music starts, slow and populated by bass notes, smooth like silk and as bracingly refreshing as an ice-cold shower in the middle of a Minnesota winter. His hips begin to gyrate and he slides across the stage, brushing my cheek with his index finger. Whatever clothes remain quickly find their place on the stage floor, and right before his engorged member is removed from the too-tight and bright purple undies... I wake up.

Now, I know that you could find a bounty of subliminal thoughts and desires attempting to make themselves known, but all I know for certain is that my dreams want me to go see Har Mar Superstar. Which is convenient, because he actually just announced a fall tour! Hot on the heels of the announcement of a new album, Har Mar has just now supplied us with details on the whereabouts and times for a bevy of shows.

Hey, don’t leave yet! The deluge of HMS news doesn’t stop there. Mr. Superstar also has a video for “Tall Boy” (a song that Har Mar wrote for Britney Spears) coming out soon that is directed by and featuring Eric Wareheim (of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!). Wareheim provided a little insight into the project: “Every night I was falling asleep I would pray to Zeus, ‘Please let me be slimed by Har Mar. Please let his tasty blue jizzism engulf my face.’ As you can see, my fantasy became a reality on this shoot.” Looking forward to it.

Here be dates (more TBA for October and November):
09.26.09 - Pioneertown, CA - Pappy & Harriets Palace
10.06.09 - San Diego, CA - Casbah
10.08.09 - Los Angeles, CA - The Echo (record release show)
10.09.09 - Santa Barbara, CA - Sand Bar (New Noise Santa Barbara Festival)
10.10.09 - Oakland, CA - The Uptown
10.12.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Club Vegas
10.13.09 - Denver, CO - Hi-Dive
10.14.09 - Albuquerque, NM - Launch Pad
10.15.09 - Austin, TX - Emo's (inside show)
10.16.09 - Dallas, TX - Lounge on Elm Street
10.17.09 - Houston, TX - Super Happy Fun Land
10.21.09 - Atlanta, GA - The Drunken Unicorn

Never Mind The Beatles, Here’s Neon Indian! And They Even Have a New Record and a Tour, Technically Giving Them a Slight Relevancy Edge, Don’t You Think?

By Nobodaddy on 09-22-2009

So who the heck are Neon Indian? Well, as a music writer -- excuse me, I mean, a Music Writer -- it’s my job to inform you. So... let's seeeee heeeeereee... Brooklynites? Maybe, sure. Racists? Possibly, controversy’s always good. An “elusive new project from composer Alan Palomo [that] delivers equal parts synthetic nostalgia, dreampop lullabies, and grinding guitar noise to create something eerier than the sound of its parts?" Definitely.

Well, whoever the heck they are, they’ve finished a debut full-length, sort-of hilariously titled Psychic Chasms, slated for release on October 13 via the good ol' Lefse label. You may remember Lefse from such classic records as... well, whatever. Press is press, right everyone? What do you say I just cherry-pick some more qualitative such-n-suchs from the press release and go get some lunch? Okay. Deal.

So yeah, written largely in one sitting in Texas, this bag o’ tracks resulted from “field recordings, record samples, and a collection of bizarre synth sounds.” Hinging on themes of drug-induced heartbreak, weary afternoons, and lost chances, these tunes “provide a lush soundtrack to the deadbeat exploits of teenage ennui.” But just in case all of this is sounding a little bit too much like The Postal Service or something, peep the fact that Neon Indian are hitting the road alongside some visual high-wire acts from video artist (and band member) Alicia Scardetta, transforming this first tour into a briskly alliterative, uh, “multimedia maelstrom.” Actually, did The Postal Service ever do that? They never toured at all, did they? I mean, I don’t listen to much music, I just write about it from a holier-than-thou perspective for a living. Oh. Whoops. I mean. Who wants to see some nice, neat tourdates?? Yeah.

Psychic Chasms tracklisting:

1. (AM)
2. Deadbeat Summer
3. Laughing Gas
4. Terminally Chill
5. (If I Knew, I'd Tell You)
6. 6669 (I Don't Know If You Know)
7. Should Have Taken Acid with You
8. Mind, Drips
9. Psychic Chasms
10. Local Joke
11. Ephemeral Artery
12. 7000 (reprise)

Neon Indian Tour:
10.02.09 - Austin, TX - Emo's (Austin City Limits afterparty)
10.16.09 - Tallahassee, FL - Club Down Under
10.17.09 - Jacksonville, FL - TSI
10.18.09 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl
10.17.09 - Washington, DC - Rock 'n' Roll Hotel
10.20.09 - Philadelphia, PA - The Barbery
10.24.09 - New York, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg
10.25.09 - Hartford, CT - La Paloma Sabanera
10.27.09 - Chicago, IL - Lincoln Hall
10.28.09 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
10.29.09 - Bloomington, IN - The Bishop
10.30.09 - Madison, WI - University of Wisconsin (Der Rathskeller)
10.31.09 - Dallas, TX - Granada Theater
11.07.09 - Austin, TX - Fun Fun Fun Festival
11.08.09 - Lubbock, TX - Bash Riprock's
11.11.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Kilby Court
11.12.09 - Boise, ID - Neurolux
11.13.09 - Guadalajara, Mexico - Lemon Beat
11.14.09 - Mexico City, Mexico - Pasaje América
11.15.09 - Seattle, WA - Nectar Lounge
11.16.09 - Vancouver, BC - Shine Nightclub
11.19.09 - San Francisco, CA - Rickshaw Stop
11.20.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Echoplex
11.21.09 - Tuscon, AZ - Club Congress

Awkwardly Bounce with Me Now: Max Tundra Announces U.S. Tour

By E. Nagurney on 09-22-2009

Y’all ready to get your stilted groove on? Well, y’all best be, because electronic pop perfectionist Max Tundra is hitting up the U.S. this November. Mr. Tundra (a.k.a. Ben Jacobs) is touring behind last year’s Parallax Error Beheads You (TMT Review), a record that inspires only the highest-quality awkward dance moves. I’ve got this one move where I frantically raise and lower my arms, while desperately attempting to keep a solid rhythm. I’m telling you, this move is sick.

Hanging out with Tundra in November will be Detroit's Deastro (a.k.a. Randy Chabot), whose brand of electro-pop is a little less frantic and awkward. His newest record Moondagger (TMT Review) apparently concerns a dream he had about a magical kingdom and the search for a “moondagger.” Basically, pretty good company for Max Tundra

11.05.09 - Chicago, IL - Schubas *
11.07.09 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick *
11.08.09 - Toronto, ON - The Drake *
11.09.09 - Montreal, QC - Lambi *
11.10.09 - Boston, MA - Great Scott *
11.11.09 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge *
11.12.09 - Washington, DC - DC9 *
11.13.09 - Baltimore, MD - Metro Gallery *
11.14.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Kung Fu Necktie *
11.16.09 - Atlanta, GA - Drunken Unicorn *
11.18.09 - Austin, TX - Mohawk *
11.19.09 - Dallas, TX - The Cavern *
11.20.09 - Kansas City, MO - Czar Bar *
11.21.09 - Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge *
11.22.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge *
11.24.09 - Los Angeles, CA - The Echo *
11.25.09 - San Francisco, CA - Bottom of the Hill *
11.27.09 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir *
11.28.09 - Seattle, WA - Nectar *
11.29.09 - Vancouver, BC - Media Club *

* Deastro

Photo: [Amanda M Hatfield]

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