I hate a-ha, but that hasn’t stopped them from reuniting again this past year and touring. The Norwegian trio are currently working through what they promise will be their final North American concerts. The group will play their final show of all-time in Oslo, Norway on December 4, 2010. The date marks the 25th anniversary of the last time the band did anything significant, the release of their debut album, Hunting High and Low, and its nefarious single, “Take On Me.”
“Take On Me,” a song so evil that hearing only a fragment of its refrain can cause one to privately hum its melody for up to six days, was released just over a month after the date of my birth. Since then, it has resonated vestigially through American pop culture, playing an average of 375 times a day on American radio. Averaged out, this means that every day, “Take On Me” plays once every three minutes and fifty seconds. The song is three minutes and forty-six seconds long, leaving four seconds before the song begins to play again. This also means that “Take On Me” has been playing for 57.5 seconds of every minute of my life.
It is in the remaining two and a half seconds that I plot my revenge. I’m coming for you, a-ha. I’M COMING FOR YOU. I’M COMING FOR YOUR LOVE, OKAY? TAAAAAAKE ONNNN MEEEEEEEE… DAMN YOU, A-HA! YOU WILL NOT BE REMEMBERED! YOU’LL BE GONE! IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!