Like a Hard-Livin', Homicide-Obsessed Phoenix, Murder City Devils Return for a String of Totally Rockin' Tourdates

By Kid Midnight on 01-12-2009

Former friends Sir Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson may have reconciliation in their collective futures. Jackson, who just recently started complaining of “dying” from a rare genetic lung disease, has begun to put his affairs in order before ascending to the heavenly throne of King of Pop. Now 50 and possibly wheelchair-bound, Jackson has drafted a new will with a specific clause stating that, should Jackson die, McCartney would regain control of his share of the Beatles catalog.

Jackson famously outbid McCartney with £350 million for the publishing rights to the entirety of the Lennon-McCartney songbook in 1985, which of course also marked the end of their brotherly goodwill and creative partnership. But Jackson is making it quite clear that he wishes to bury the axe, and an insider close to the pop star had this to say:

Michael is worried about his health so decided it was time to look at his finances. Most of his estate has been divided up between his three children. But Michael told his lawyers he was sad he no longer talks to Sir Paul and said he wanted to make things right.

Let’s hope this works out, because then they might write a sequel to the “Girl is Mine” song. I’ve always wondered who got to do the dirty deed with the lady at the end of the night.

By Mario Speedwagon on 01-09-2009

I hope everyone had a great holiday season and New Years. I got a microwave for Christmas and watched my drunken uncles and aunts play Rock Band while my little cousins sat looking miserable on the sidelines. Then on New Year's Eve, I went to MSG and saw My Morning Jacket and drank $9 beer -- holler. Anyway, while ya’ll were hanging with your families, absolutely nothing happened. This shit is gonna be boring.

- So, Best Buy is offering buyouts to 4,000 or so employees at their corporate office. The economy is a mess, so Best Buy needs to “reduce significant expense from its corporate payroll.” I wish someone would offer me some pimp buy out. I ate Cream of Chicken soup and some Airheads for dinner last night. Everyone from the janitor to the big VP dudes are being offered the buyout, which is based on age and time of service. They didn’t say how many people they wanted to get rid of, just that pretty much everyone was offered to volunteer to be fired. Nice.

- Brian Eno is gonna score Peter Jackson’s new movie, an adaptation of Alice Sebold’s “The Lovely Bones.” Part of the movie takes place in heaven (okay…) and stars Rachel Weisz, Mark Wahlberg, Susan Sarandon, Saoirse Ronan, Michael Imperioli, and more. Shit comes out December 11, 2009.

- Merle Haggard is suing the environmental group The Green Train for allegedly using his name and likeness to raise money. Haggard says the group, a nonprofit that educates the public about environmental issues, forged his signature and exaggerated his involvement. The Green Train has a six-week train tour departing from Portland, OR and traveling through 28 states while stopping for several concerts along the way, eventually ending in DC. I mean, he did donate money to them, and it doesn’t sound like a bad organization, so Merle needs to chill out. It’s not like he’s the face of the Puppy Kicker’s Club.

- Dutch anti-piracy company BREIN shut down 75 Bit Torrent trackers. Sites like Luckytorrents, Allmymovies, Digi-tor.org, and Seederstor.org were taken down. Yes, this is how boring the holidays were...

Seriously -- ATTENTION MUSICIANS -- someone needs to get arrested or make an angry blog post or start feuding with someone else, because, like, I seriously just wrote about some ‘nilla news items. Mario OUT.