Have… A Good Time… All The Time; Spinal Tap Reforms For Live Earth (You Know, like Live Aid and Live 8… Those Other Concerts That Saved The World…)

When we last left our coifed-haired heroes in Spinal Tap, dismal reviews were piling on (the review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two-word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich"), often hitting that nerve square between insult and truth. I even doubted my allegiance. After all, what day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day, too?

But like a phoenix risen from the ashes, Spinal Tap have reunited and will perform at Live Earth London on 07/07/07. Yeah, that's right. God's number. Coincidence? I think not. With Spinal Tap, we're very lucky we have two visionaries, David and Nigel. They're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries -- like fire and ice, basically. And there's no end to this kind of genius. Plus, I don't really think that the end can be assessed itself as being the end, because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.

Announced via the Tribeca Film Festival and viewable here, it was the tireless willpower of Marty DeBergi that brought the band back from the depths of rock purgatory (rightfully reserved for bands like Audioslave). Rumor has it the band has been working on a Mozart and Bach-inspired (Mach) musical trilogy four or five hours in length, in D minor (widely accepted as the saddest of all keys), titled "Lick My Love Pump." Designed to defeat global warming once and for all, Live Earth will stage concerts from New Jersey to Shanghai on one fateful day in July. Expect a new tune ("Warmer Than Hell") and a possible appearance from British funnyman Ricky Gervais. Thankfully, with Spinal Tap in tow, the score now reads "Live Earth: 1, Global Warming: 0". But we'll need all the star-power we can get. I mean, it's like, how much more black could this crisis be? And the answer is none. None more black.