Special, Magical, Seminal, Chicago-based, Post-Rock Band Tortoise Tours… Slowly
By Nobodaddy on Jun 24 2008
Well, well, now. Come on now, youngster. Come on now and sit right down here next to me. Well, well, now... that's it... don't be shy... Yes, that's it, don't be shy. Now then, let me tell you a tale. A special tale. A magical tale. Let me tell you a special magical tale. Yes, son, don't be shy and let me tell you a special, magical tale about a band. Well well, now...
This band is a special magical band. This band is a post-rock band, seminal in scope and influence and Chicago-based in nature. Yessiree, youngster, this band is a seminal, Chicago-based, post-rock-group kinda band. The name of this special, magical, seminal, Chicago-based, post-rock band is Tortoise. Did you know that, now, youngster? Come closer now.
Well, well, come closer now, youngster. I am about to tell you the most special, magical part. The most special magical, post-rock part of this seminal, Chicago-based tale. See, this seminal, special-based, post-magical Tortoise-based Chicago band is planning something. And the something that this tale-based magic-band is planning is none other than a tour. And the seminal tour which they are planning (this magic-based band Tortoise, of course) is happening this summer, youngster. Did you know that???
Come closer, Chicago. Now, that tour is rumored in this tale to encompass some places. Some places that the tour will encompass are in shy North America, and some of the places that the tour will encompass are in seminal Europe. These shyly seminal places that the Chicago-rock, post-based Tortoise band will visit are in support of a magical, special record. The name of the record being post-supported by Chicago-touring come-closers Tortoise is called A Lazarus Taxon, and this record is out now on Thrill Jockey, youngster. Well, well, now, Tortoise. Well, well!
Dates of the North American/European-based Tortoise tour:
* My Bloody Valentine, Meat Puppets, Thurston Moore
She & Him Tour & Stuff
By Hatchet on Jun 23 2008
My window looks out onto the roof, and I'm watching a little bird wash itself in the rain gutter. It's a pleasant black bird, with warm eyes and a beak that somehow forms a smile. It picks its head up and locks eyes with me. My knowledge of cartoons and all things fantastical makes me think it's going to start whistling "Goodbye My Coney Island Baby" with a squirrel, a rat, and a beleaguered alley cat.
It doesn't. I'm learning to live with contradictions.
I'm in that mood though. That animals-sing-to-you mood. The problem is that people think it happens when you've just fallen in love, but it's always a bit more melancholic than that, almost bitter, like when you want to fall in love but don't. It's a mocking song. The birds sing, and sure it's cute and everything, but if you look into their chocolate-colored eyes, you can see that they know you're blue but want to keep it that way. "This is how good you could feel," they seem to say. "If only you could be a bird like me."
If you look into their eyes long enough, though, staring at them while they wash themselves in the rain gutter, you can also see they aren't so well-adjusted as they'd have you believe. Not everything is delightful up in the sky; they just don't wear their hearts on their sleeves. "Why don't you ever sing to me?"
The bird's friend splashes down, another little black one. It dips its head in the water and shakes it off before looking at me too. "We have feelings, why don't you sing to me?" Two more fly in and bathe, and suddenly the gutter is filled with morose birds. "It isn't all about you," their eyes all seem to convey. "Our hearts hurt too. Why don't you sing to me?"
They bottle their emotions and drink alone. If only we could sing to them when they're blue to cheer them up.
"I don't sing," I tell the birds. They splash water on me. "Don't be like that. Hold on." I open the window wider and turn on my stereo. What might help them?
I put on She & Him's Volume One (TMT Review), Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward's melancholic yet bittersweet album about falling in love but probably not falling in love. It sounds sweet. It feels like it should cheer them up, but I play it to mock them as they mock me. "How do you like it?" I sneer.
They don't like it at all. It's pleasant music, but it hurts. I feel satisfied, but horrible. We'll all have to get better at living with contradictions.
They're touring, as the crow flies:
DJ Scotch Egg Tours, Garners Widespread Critical Something or Another
By Mr P on Jun 23 2008
Quotes about DJ Scotch Egg (Shigeru Ishihara) from around the web:
"He's not a DJ, he's definitely not Scottish and he's probably not an egg." --DJ Scotch Egg official website
"Scotch Egg creates day-glo gabba techno splattered with paintballs of punk fury and modern minimalist composition." --TMT Review of Drumized
"Individual neon tones slingshot against, around, and through one another, spin, spike, and woosh, ping and pop and wink or — as on the title track — tinkle and skip across dense fields of digital static before vigorously fluctuating into quicksilver mush." --CityPages
"DJ Scotch Egg’s influences include Karlheinz Stockhausen, SKREAM, John Carpenter, Walter Karloss, Steve Reich, Moondog, John Cage and Speedfreaks amongst others." --Load Records
"It sounds like a Kōji Kondō outtake for some alternate universe where Mario and Bowser trip ’shrooms and count their ducats." --Paper Thin Walls
"Not for the faint hearted." --Drowned in Sound
"KFC is amaging!!!" --MySpace
Photo: [WrongMusic.com]
Miss Kittin and the Hacker Tour: Now with Less Black-And-White Striped T-Shirts
By Liz Louche on Jun 23 2008
Do you miss 2004? I know I do! What could be more magical than the tail end of electroclash? The sheer excitement of deadpan female vocals, metallic beats, and songs about being rich all made an indelible impression on the young people currently staffing American Apparel. But it's now 2008, and those golden days are gone. How can American dancefloors ever hope to recover from the encroaching threat of nu-rave? Why with the icy Teutonic beats of Miss Kittin and the Hacker, of course!
Miss Kittin's latest, Batbox came out earlier this spring on Groove Attack Records. It's dark, it's electro, it's got some kinda goth-lookin' bat on the cover. What's not to love? I'm not gonna suggest that you should run out and purchase some tight black leggings, put on a Bauhaus t-shirt, and do some research on the latest designer drugs, but I mean -- well, you get what I'm saying.
