How-To: Rent a Beach House, Dine at a Beach House, Own a Beach House, and See Beach House Live

Welcome to the latest How-To feature on Tiny Mix Tapes. Today we are going to discuss Beach Houses. What are these tropical getaways and how can we use them to better our lives? I’m going to answer all of these questions and more.

Before we begin today’s How-To, we have to think about how to rent a Beach House. My friends at the travel agency tell me that www.beachhouse.com is the perfect place to find and rent your perfect Beach House. Log on and rent one. Done? Good, so grab a plane and fly there. Now you are situated at your rented Beach House. What do you plan to do now?

Well, you could go to sleep; I’m sure the trip was tiring. Alternatively, you could dine at your rented Beach House. My comrades at the travel agency inform me that The Beach House is the perfect place to dine. Did you know that this particular Beach House offers spectacular ocean and sunset views of the Poipu coastline? Yes, I didn’t either until I Googled it.

After your tasty dinner, one would assume you don’t want to leave your rented Beach House. Have you noticed how I keep saying “rented Beach House”? You see, that’s because you don’t own it. But you can! Remember that handy-dandy web address where you found your rental Beach House? You can go back there and possibly purchase the very Beach House you are renting. Hot damn!

So what now? You’ve rented a Beach House, dined at The Beach House, and now you own one. Only one thing is left, silly. You should go out and listen to the dream-pop outfit that coincidentally refer to themselves using the same name as your home away from home. Beach House even released their first album last year on Carpark Records. Talk about the perfect vacation package!

Want a little taste of paradise before investing in a Beach House? Beach House are touring right now! Get out there and try a life of luxury for a night.

All dates with The Clientele:

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