I Think the Smashing Pumpkins Should Open for Explosions in the Sky in October

Having released the most critically acclaimed album so far this year, The Smashing Pumpkins have been the subjects of a media storm lately. And you know what? I bet Billy Corgan is just eating it up. Rumor has it that Corgan has a bit of an ego, so every mention of his beloved pet project must get his cherub cock so hard he could hammer up drywall with it. And I'm not just saying that to be anecdotal. I literally saw Billy Corgan hammering up some drywall with his penis!

That said, Explosions in the Sky -- a rock band at heart, post-rock band to journalists -- have been announced as month-long openers for rock behemoth The Smashing Pumpkins. Beginning in October, Explosions in the Sky will tag-along with the Pumpkins, playing songs that will most likely include dramatic nuggets from their latest LP, All of A Sudden I Miss Everyone (TMT Review), which was released on Temporary Residence earlier this year.

(Oh, this is exclusive news, btw. Please credit Mango Starr if you want your blog and/or online magazine to be taken seriously.)

Tourdates without The Smashing Bumpkins:

Internet Radio Temporarily Saved from Rate Hikes During Negotiation Period

Despite many setbacks in the past months, as well as this week's court denial of a "motion to stay" petition by webcasters, internet radio has been saved from the freakish royalty rate increases originally due to take effect this Sunday. "A commitment has been made to negotiate reasonable royalties, recognizing the industry’s long-term value and its still-developing revenue potential," wrote SaveNetRadio on its website.

Due in no small part to the public outcry (the Internet Radio Equality Act now has over 125 cosponsoring representatives), webcasters can now catch their breaths as negotiations begin. SoundExchange has said it will not enforce the new royalty rates until new rates are decided on.

Of course, royalty increases are still likely, and all of this is decidedly temporary. At best, the negotiations will produce a healthy discussion of the internet, copyright laws, and royalty rates, ending with reasonable legislation. At worst, internet radio supporters -- both hardcore and casual ones -- will slowly become complacent during the negoations, and the next timeline will be met with lukewarm protest.

Although this temporary victory is certainly a positive sign for internet radio, the Copyright Royalty Board and SoundExchange are certainly not ready to give in just yet. Go to SaveNetRadio to learn more.

Classic Example of the Blind Suing the Poor: Sony BMG Sues Rootkit Antipiracy Software-Makers

You just knew Sony BMG had a fucked idea when they suggested anti-pirateable CDs.

And you just knew Sony BMG had fucked up when the anti-piracy software it felt was soooo necessary for CDs to contain occasionally didn't even allow the CDs to be played. Or, maybe you were thinking this was a revolutionary concept: allow CONSUMERS to PURCHASE a CD, but DON'T LET the CONSUMER — the one who purchased it, the one inclined to listen to it — to do so, to CONSUME. The logic does follow — if music can't be heard, it can't be pirated. The exception, of course, being John Cage's "4'33"."

But, dammit, there are laws in this country, and when you pay for a CD, there better godfuckingdammit be audible noise on that CD. AND IT BETTER NOT MAKE YOUR COMPUTER VULNERABLE TO VIRUSES. Well, that was precisely the problem, and Sony BMG got its ass sued and settled for a $5.75 million loss, and rightfully so: a jury could have come up with that verdict.

With CD sales perpetually in decline, Sony BMG has no other choice now but to turn around (stop, briefly, from telling its RIAA lawyers to sue college students) and sue that anti-piracy, non-functioning-software, computer vulnerability-making development company, The Amergence Group Inc. (formerly SunnComm), for $12 million.

The software probably was shitty -- I mean, by its nature, it was shitty -- but The Amergence Group has vowed to fight the allegations. Shouldn't Sony BMG have used a more reputable software development company, like Intel or whoever? Don't they have anyone working quality control? Wasn't this a bad idea from the start? Sony BMG should count their losses and stop with the bad fucking ideas.

But seriously, if I could say anything to the major record labels, it would be to sue your own dumb asses. Carrie Underwood sucks. You suck. Go bankrupt, you corrupt pieces of fucking bullshit!

Panda Bear Tour DVD to be Released; Widespread Panda Bear Fornication in Celebration

Digital Versatile Disc news ahoy, on no less than TWO fronts! First of all, zoologists in the Far East who have been frustrated for over the total fucking ineptitude, reproduction-wise, of giant pandas seem to have hit upon an unlikely solution in the shape of DVDs portraying unexpurgated panda bear FILTH.They’ve found that if you show male panda bears a few hours of this ultra-hot panda porn, then those chaps soon get dirty-minded enough to throw down their bamboo chews and totally get into searching out some hot Ailuropoda melanoleuca madam for an extended session of cold shit action! As if this wasn’t peculiar enough, it’s apparently not the sight, but the sounds associated with the bump ‘n’ grind that turn Mr. Panda crazy with desire.

Of course, there are some other types of Panda Bear noises that make you and I and everyone we know (except for the zoophiles amongst us, who I’m sure are already searching out that XXX panda goodness) feel all sort of loose, hot, and lascivious. And our desires are all gonna be totally catered to, too! Panda Bear -- the Person Pitch (TMT Review) /Animal Collective dude, of course -- is having a DVD released in the near future, documenting his recent solo shows in Baltimore, Philadelphia, and New York. There’ll be footage of the support bands and all kinds of backstage stuff on there as well.

The footage has been shot and is being edited by a chap who goes only by the name ‘Mike.’ His website is a little sketchy about the whole thing, but from what I can understand, it looks like the DVD will only be available from this mysterious Mike’s site, and it’ll probably cost you a donation of $5-10 to cover his costs. Noah Lennox himself appears to have approved the whole deal, saying that he "thought it would be good to have for all the people who would have liked to see the show, but couldn't because it was far away." Far, far away, even? How sweet of him.

Mekons Plan Intimate Fall Tour; Audiences Not Ready For Intimacy With Jon Langford

It was the end of the tour, and Jon Langford could barely contain his relief. It had been a long and arduous musical journey, but now it was complete, as all things will eventually be. Langford lowered his eyes and blushed as he remembered the songs the band had played and the new faces he had met. Oh, how the audience had erupted in applause at the final note! Oh, how thankful Langford was for his many musical blessings! In accordance with tradition, Langford placed his hands on the floor of his dressing room and bowed deeply.

But the tour was not the only thing on Langford's mind; there was also a new album to be worrying about. Fresh tears formed on Langford's eyelashes. Oh, how he wished he could stay forever on stage, surrounded by those who knew his name and appreciated his work, never asking for more! It was only a trifling number of days over one month before his band's new album, Natural, would be released. August 21 was the day he could finally, truly breathe out a deep sigh. Oh, how he and his band had slaved away at those 12 songs! Langford smiled ruefully to himself. He pulled out an old, faded photograph of the band from their early years and chuckled good-naturedly to himself, as he again remembered his band's storied past. Have I been happy with my life thus far? he thought. Langford turned away so his tears wouldn't spoil the photograph. He looked out at the freshly falling snow and began to softly urinate on the shag carpet beneath him.

Natural tracklisting:

Feist To Tour Europe, Girlfriends With Bad Skin and Big Noses To Turn Away in Unvoiced Insecurity When Their Indie Boyfriends Accidentally Whisper “I Love You, Leslie Feist” During Sex; And Oh, Hey, Regina George, Don’t You Be Trippin’ - Feist Taught Lindz LoLo Everything She Knows About Sex Appeal

Janis: Leslie Feist. How do I even begin to explain Leslie Feist?

Girl: Feist is flawless.

Another Girl: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.

Boy: I heard her hair is insured for $10,000.

Another Girl: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.

Another Girl: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.

Another Girl: One time, she met John Stamos on a plane. And he told her she was pretty.

Another Girl: One time, she punched me in the face... It was awesome!

Girl: I saw Feist wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops...

Let’s be real. La-Lohan ain’t no Mean Girl next to Her Feisty-ness, but she did perform the hot, wet, dancetastic “Rumors,” which runs in the same vein as The Reminder and perhaps bests any literature by Leonard Cohen. Find the two North American tourdates in the list below, find Waldo, find Feist’s used tissues and chewed gum:

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