I Think the Smashing Pumpkins Should Open for Explosions in the Sky in October

Having released the most critically acclaimed album so far this year, The Smashing Pumpkins have been the subjects of a media storm lately. And you know what? I bet Billy Corgan is just eating it up. Rumor has it that Corgan has a bit of an ego, so every mention of his beloved pet project must get his cherub cock so hard he could hammer up drywall with it. And I'm not just saying that to be anecdotal. I literally saw Billy Corgan hammering up some drywall with his penis!

That said, Explosions in the Sky -- a rock band at heart, post-rock band to journalists -- have been announced as month-long openers for rock behemoth The Smashing Pumpkins. Beginning in October, Explosions in the Sky will tag-along with the Pumpkins, playing songs that will most likely include dramatic nuggets from their latest LP, All of A Sudden I Miss Everyone (TMT Review), which was released on Temporary Residence earlier this year.

(Oh, this is exclusive news, btw. Please credit Mango Starr if you want your blog and/or online magazine to be taken seriously.)

Tourdates without The Smashing Bumpkins:

Open Your Mouth, Stick Out Your Tunng, And Say “New Album and Summer Dates” – Now Bend Over And Cough, Please

Unless I’m ripping Interpol a new one or snuggling up to the proverbial Tiny Mix Tapes “High School Musical” cock, I normally try to show a smidgen of impartiality when writing these terribly useless news stories. This time, my enthusiasm and excitement cannot be tamed. When I hear word of a new Tunng album coming out in August, I first lose control of my bowels (as is my style), then I quickly clean up all matters and matter and jump on the computer to write all about it. Whether the good editors at TMT post it is another matter entirely, but if you are reading this, then the picture of the entire editorial staff cavorting with this donkey at last year’s Christmas party did the trick.

Yeppers, Tunng’s third album, Good Arrows, is coming out August 20 on Full Time Hobby, and because the band has signed to the mighty Thrill Jockey in the U.S., we won’t have to wait a year or two for the album to come out in North America. But we will have to wait until September 25. Thrill Jockey plans on distributing the band’s second album Comments of the Inner Chorus as well. Good Arrows will be preceded by a limited-edition 7-inch single called “Bricks” August 6, which includes a remix by Dntel/Jimmy Tamborello. Oh yea, Full Time Hobby will also issue Good Arrows as a limited-edition that will contain two bonus songs (just like they did for Comments of the Inner Chorus). Good songs:

1. Take
2. Bricks
3. Hands
4. Bullets
5. Soup
6. Spoons
7. King
8. Arms
9. Secrets
10. String
11. Cans

Unsurprisingly, the band tends to sign up for most of the UK festivals, as their music is the perfect soundtrack to sparkling summer nights. Here are the band’s remaining summer festival dates. Tunng plan on taking on the U.S. in their most extensive tour to date after the LP is released. We have included links to the festival shows below. We don’t normally provide this service, but we kind of have a little crush on all of you... yes all of you. Even you, Pizzaface

07.19.07 - Florence, Italy - Italia Wave Festival
07.22.07 - London, England - Lovebox Festival
08.02.07 - Rees-Haldern, Germany - Haldern Pop Festival
08.03.07 - Dranouter, Belgium - Dranouter Festival
08.04.07 - Herefordshire, England - Big Chill Festival
08.10.07 - Inverness, Scotland - Belladrum Festival
08.17.07 - Brecon Beacons, Wales - Green Man Festival
09.01.07 - Birmingham, England - Moseley Folk Festival
09.09.07 - Downsend, Isle of Wight, England - Bestival
09.21.07 - Derbyshire, England - Thermal Festival
10.10.07 - Brighton, England - Komedia
10.11.07 - Oxford, England - Carling Academy (The Zodiac)
10.12.07 - Leeds, England - Brundenell Social Club
10.13.07 - Pocklington, England - Arts Centre
10.14.07 - Cardiff, Wales - Glee Club
10.15.07 - Manchester, England - Academy
10.16.07 - Bristol, England - Thekla
10.17.07 - London, England - 229

Guitar Hero Thrii For The Wiiiiiiiiiii!

You must be living under a RAWK if you haven't heard of the video gaming awesomeness that is Guitar Hero. It's this rad video game series that lets you play really RAWKIN' RAWK songs. Lemme explain it to you: You buy the game for a video game console, and you get a guitar-shaped controller with these big, bright, colorful buttons. It's kind of like Japanese sensation Dance Dance Revolution, but instead of dancing on a dance pad, you RAWK out with your fingers and hit the buttons as they appear on the screen. Kind of like a guitar and kind of like a cheesy video game controller with buttons. Either way, the plastic guitar controller craze is now coming to the Wii, and it's going to kick some ass.

If you aren't familiar with the Wii (and you probably aren't), it's Nintendo's newest entry into the console field. It's claim to fame is its completely motion-sensitive controller called the Wii remote. For example, instead of moving your old-skool analog stick to point your shotgun, you can use the Wii remote and actually move it around to aim. See, it just brings you closer to really feeling like you're killing something. I know for a fact that after playing the Wii and killing video game characters I hunger for more death and destruction. I hunger for extra lives and lots and lots of bloody bodies, all kneeling before the barrel of my gun. Whoops! Looks like I mixed up virtual reality and reality again! How silly of me! Maybe everyone is right, maybe video games are really teaching me to love murder. You're right Hilary Clinton, you're so god damn right about video game violence, but you're incredibly wrong about video games that bring the RAWK 'cause that's exactly what Guitar Hero 3 is going to do.

The unique thing about the Wii version of Guitar Hero is that you'll be able to stick your Wii remote inside of the guitar controller. What exactly does this mean? Well, for starters it means some really cool gameplay features that I predict will be announced in the future. Here are a couple of my ideas on the matter:

- You'll be forced to use the gyro sensors in the Wii Remote Guitar to bash the shit out of stage equipment after each set. The controller will be able to detect the speed at which you hurl your guitar at your closet door and calculate the impact it might have on your amp. So, in turn, the more shit you break, the more points you get! Score!

- You'll be forced to ride the guitar and move with it in a humping motion. The creators of Guitar Hero have actually added a sort of squirt-gun attachment, so when you're done with your phallic maneuvering, you can spray your RAWK all over the TV.

I'm pretty confident that Nintendo will approve of those new additions that will utilize their amazing revolutionary controller. Oh and did I mention you'll be able to RAWK out to some crazy RAWKIN' bands like The Rolling Stones, Guns N' Roses, and Beastie Boys? Kick it!

Guitar Hero 3 is reportedly set to bring the RAWK to the Wii in March 2008.

Zune Is What’s Hot On The Streets; Clipse, UGK, Mos Def, Common To Perform Microsoft-Inspired Verses In Chicago and NYC

If iPod has already cornered the hipster demographic, Zune is taking its marketing game to an entirely different one, courting some of the hottest acts in hip-hop for a summer concert series across the United States. With two separate upcoming shows, in Chicago July 22 and New York August 4, the software giant (but MP3 player dwarf) will attempt to spark otherwise lackluster sales for its newest, and least successful, flagship device. The shows will feature performances from Common, David Banner, Bilal, E-40, Large Professor, and more -- an impressive lineup, without a doubt, but still no reason to buy a Zune. Word on the street is that this guy will be DJ-ing the shows.

In the spirit of the event (and at the request of head G and ultimate playa Bill Gates), each MC will be switching up their lines a bit to help bring the struggling Zune to an urban demographic. For example, in their certified banger "Wamp Wamp" you might just hear the brothers Clipse rip a little verse that goes something like this:

Undeniably hot. For more info, check out Zune's official page.

Internet Radio Temporarily Saved from Rate Hikes During Negotiation Period

Despite many setbacks in the past months, as well as this week's court denial of a "motion to stay" petition by webcasters, internet radio has been saved from the freakish royalty rate increases originally due to take effect this Sunday. "A commitment has been made to negotiate reasonable royalties, recognizing the industry’s long-term value and its still-developing revenue potential," wrote SaveNetRadio on its website.

Due in no small part to the public outcry (the Internet Radio Equality Act now has over 125 cosponsoring representatives), webcasters can now catch their breaths as negotiations begin. SoundExchange has said it will not enforce the new royalty rates until new rates are decided on.

Of course, royalty increases are still likely, and all of this is decidedly temporary. At best, the negotiations will produce a healthy discussion of the internet, copyright laws, and royalty rates, ending with reasonable legislation. At worst, internet radio supporters -- both hardcore and casual ones -- will slowly become complacent during the negoations, and the next timeline will be met with lukewarm protest.

Although this temporary victory is certainly a positive sign for internet radio, the Copyright Royalty Board and SoundExchange are certainly not ready to give in just yet. Go to SaveNetRadio to learn more.

Classic Example of the Blind Suing the Poor: Sony BMG Sues Rootkit Antipiracy Software-Makers

You just knew Sony BMG had a fucked idea when they suggested anti-pirateable CDs.

And you just knew Sony BMG had fucked up when the anti-piracy software it felt was soooo necessary for CDs to contain occasionally didn't even allow the CDs to be played. Or, maybe you were thinking this was a revolutionary concept: allow CONSUMERS to PURCHASE a CD, but DON'T LET the CONSUMER — the one who purchased it, the one inclined to listen to it — to do so, to CONSUME. The logic does follow — if music can't be heard, it can't be pirated. The exception, of course, being John Cage's "4'33"."

But, dammit, there are laws in this country, and when you pay for a CD, there better godfuckingdammit be audible noise on that CD. AND IT BETTER NOT MAKE YOUR COMPUTER VULNERABLE TO VIRUSES. Well, that was precisely the problem, and Sony BMG got its ass sued and settled for a $5.75 million loss, and rightfully so: a jury could have come up with that verdict.

With CD sales perpetually in decline, Sony BMG has no other choice now but to turn around (stop, briefly, from telling its RIAA lawyers to sue college students) and sue that anti-piracy, non-functioning-software, computer vulnerability-making development company, The Amergence Group Inc. (formerly SunnComm), for $12 million.

The software probably was shitty -- I mean, by its nature, it was shitty -- but The Amergence Group has vowed to fight the allegations. Shouldn't Sony BMG have used a more reputable software development company, like Intel or whoever? Don't they have anyone working quality control? Wasn't this a bad idea from the start? Sony BMG should count their losses and stop with the bad fucking ideas.

But seriously, if I could say anything to the major record labels, it would be to sue your own dumb asses. Carrie Underwood sucks. You suck. Go bankrupt, you corrupt pieces of fucking bullshit!