I Was Partially Right: Max Tundra Readies Parallax Error Beheads You in Preparation for Hot Chip Tour

By Mike McHugh on Aug 6 2008

A recently unearthed reel-to-reel tape of a giggling and gossiping Beatles sold for $23,446 in an internet auction. The half-hour long tape, recorded in 1964 and discovered in a north England attic by one lucky punter, features a fun-having Fab Four chatting like pals and laughing like maniacs, including a version of “I’ll Follow the Sun” that reduces the presumably baked John and Paul to a pair of uncontrollably chuckling morons.

Along with all the merriment, early versions of "I Feel Fine," "I'm a Loser," and "Don't Put Me Down Like This" appear on the tape. The identity of the auction winner was not revealed, but honestly, I hope this yahoo remains anonymous forever. I never want to see the face of a Beatlemaniac so rabid that not even the deluxe edition of Help! provided enough footage of The Beatles getting high and giving each other titty twisters (or whatever the hell they put on the expanded special features of fucking Help!), inevitably driving the lucky winner to dropping the equivalent of an inner-city school teacher’s salary on a reel-to-reel of Liverpudlians with the munchies.

Some people have too much money.

By Nobodaddy on Aug 6 2008

Lying is a destructive, alienating habit (just ask The Dark Knight’s Joker!). So, before we here at TMT’s 3rd Floor, Dayton Ohio-based office/private oxygen bar go around posting just any old news story about Liars allegedly playing more summer dates next month with Radiohead, we figured that we’d better make sure that our facts were straight... you know, in order to cut down on all of that potential fibbing that might slip by.

So, a few of us staff writers got into the Kompressor that I definitely own and certainly don’t lease, drove out to Liars’ home in Chicago, and talked to the ladies in the band about what their recent experience being on the road with Radiohead was really like. This is what they said, according to the Japanese/English translators that they travel with:

In a world full of fear and ripe with insincerity it’s such a relief to have met Radiohead. They are purveyors of truth, beauty and a moral responsibility to the planet. We've been welcomed with literal open arms and thoroughly schooled on how to function as a band -- not just musically, but ethically too. The honor is in learning from the best, and from the beginning we've been in class... For now, we'd like to send our huge thanks to the Radiohead crew for being so super crazy nice and supportive to us. We'll see them... during our West Coast tour with [them] in August -- so no tears yet.

Now, August is upon us, and it seems like Liars will indeed be touring the West Coast of the United States with Radiohead. The facts have been corroborated by TMT’s Fact-Checking/Regicide Department, who determined -- after speaking with several of the bandmates’ parents, label mates, children, same-sex partners, and pet boa constrictors -- that everything checked out just fine! Now... do you wanna know how I got these scars???

* Radiohead