I went from my home in Indiana to Ohio for this story, and I still can't come up with a good headline. Fuck it. There's going to be a new Gnarls Barkley album. Get rowdy!

FUCK! I'm so amped! I've got PBR in my right hand and LCD Soundsystem in my left. Don't ask me how I'm typing. Seriously. Because right now I'm driving. Where? Dayton, Ohio. I know, right? But that is where Scout Leader Kyle says he's holing up.

[Time lapse]

Scout, my boy, what's the score? Same, same. I ask him if he's heard of Gnarls Barkley. He hides a laugh and peels his face away from one of his many websites he's working on. (Let it be known that Scout is dominating the internet more than any of us ever will). Swiftly, my boy pulls out a brand new iPod Touch from what had just been air between his fingers. I curse and say, "Good show." Not only does he know Gnarls Barkley, but he celebrates the entire catalogs of both Danger Mouse and Cee-lo. And, the real peal of cum here, he has the "Sweet Sixteen" episode featuring Cee-lo's daughter. I start to question the reasoning behind this, but before I can, he says with such innocence something to the effect that he has a free meal on his card if I wanted to go to the dining hall in the basement of his dorm. I tell him how it brings me back to the good ol' days. And how maybe the good ol' days weren't so good. He tells me I smell like booze.

"Seriously," I say trying to bring the focus to my trip. "I need to know if you have any information on the new Gnarls Barkley album." We are in the queue for French fries and fried chicken and fried lettuce and fried snickers and I pull out a twenty spot and realize even that is fried. Scout tells me we'll get down to business after dinner.

[After dinner]

We are back in his dorm room, and I make a rude comment about his roommate. You know how it is though; you'll have that friend over for the first time, and he thinks the roommate is gone, so he's like, "Damn dude, the boy sucks. I mean, well, he's not that bad, but he plays lacrosse. What the fuck?" Turns out your roommate was in his bed reading up for his religious studies class or some shit. Yeah, it was like that. Sorry, Scout. He tells me not to worry. I don't. Ever.

"Get on the internet!" I demand. "Shake your magic stick," I continue, referencing his mouse. After a good 30 seconds, Scout has enough information to fill a Wikipedia page. Turns out the boys were originally prepping the album in hopes that it would drop this past December. WRONG! With great authority, Scout says that it will instead be released in April of this year. He also told me the title may or may not be Atlantis. Scout, tell me more! Well, looks like the plucky heads at Rolling Stone magazine were allowed to preview two tracks (how come I don't get such pull these days). One is reported to be a funky track with an organ and French horns, while the other is a "darker ballad" with an acoustic guitar. These two gems are vying for the "single" status for the new album, and it is rumored that the Barkley camp is favoring the latter.

I slap Scout on the back and tell him once more, "Good show."