Internet’s Ad Revenue Surpasses That Of Radio; I Was Wondering Where This Rocket Car and Enormous Pile of Cocaine Came From

Don't know if you guys have heard, but the internet's basically THE place for advertising nowadays. Unlike with radio, young people use it. Unlike on television, there's no fear of piracy and having commercials edited out*. Unlike on billboards, Joe Camel can stand tall, maintaining a strong, respectable presence. Unlike in magazines, you can play rap through an internet ad. Unless you count inserting backwards messages into Beatles records, it is the ultimate advertising medium.

Finally, those pesky economics have proven what we've known to be true since the days of acquiring, distributing, and trading our precious online ads via usenet: Advertising on the internet is more profitable than advertising on the radio. Right now, figures for both media are in the $20 billion range, but within a few years, the information superhighway is set to overtake the $40 billion monolith of television.

I would normally recommend that you keep an eye on this website for details, but as critical mass approaches, the risk of this website turning into a sentient being made entirely of money and pure energy is greatly increasing. This new entity, with its unpronounceable name and vicelike talons, will not be interested in cultural commentary and discourse as much as it will have a completely insatiable craving for power. But, of course, it will still love boners. Boners boners boners.

*Editor's note: Some people use programs to block internet ads. (I'm not linking to any in fear that you'll block the very TMT ads that pay for my yearly Roth IRA investments. Live for today and tomorrow. That's what I always say.)

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