James Chance And Les Contortions Embark On European Tour

A. Sunglasses, the very same pair he wore when he had sex with rock critic Robert Christgau.

B. "I want the bomb/ I want the chronic/ I gots to get fucked up." - "The Roach," Dr. Dre

C. Used condom, post-Lydia Lunch.

D. Saxamophone.

E. BiC ® .5mm Mechanical Pencil with Color Rubber Grip. Fun fact: Chance prefers pencils over pens.

F. Aerosol hairspray product, in order to achieve his beautiful coif. When asked whether he'd consider switching out of aerosol for environmental reasons, Chance quipped, "I will, once you sell your car."

G. Bottle of holy water with "X"s on it.

H. Burger King DOUBLE WHOPPER® (without cheese; Chance has high blood pressure).

I. Mahjong tile, in case that specific piece is missing should he ever find himself in an underground basement in Chinatown with a bunch of old Chinese people. "Hey, you never know," said Chance to Time Magazine writer Susan Schultz.

J. Lit cigarette.

K. CD version of Ornette!.

L. Vase from Weasel Walter, sent through USPS, First-Class Parcel with Signature Confirmation. Chance wasn't actually home when the package arrived, so the mail carrier instead forged Chance's signature on the 3489 form (those little pink slips) and scanned it as if he had, and then clumsily plopped the package in a shaded area on Chance's front porch. Luckily, no damage was done to the vase, but Chance was initially worried when he saw the package was slightly damaged due to the rough handling of the sometimes-irresponsible USPS workers. This wasn't the first time Chance was upset at the postal service, and he was certain it wasn't the last. Though, little did Chance know that his carrier has 434 houses/schools/churches on his route, and in order to get back to the station in time to get the outgoing mail on the last truck, he had to hurry that day; so, sometimes packages are dropped a little harder than they should be. But it's not all bad for the mail carrier. He brings his own music in the truck and he gets to sort half the day and enjoy the weather the other half. However, he often forgets to bring doggy treats before he heads out on his route, and the dogs bark like crazy because of it. He especially hates when cars park in front of the mailboxes, forcing him to get out of his truck. He always considers spitting on the car that's parked in front of the box or, at the very least, to passively-aggressively roll his eyes in the hopes that someone might see his disgust. I mean, what the fuck, he's delivering in a suburban neighborhood -- they have, like, three-car garages and plenty of driveway space.

M. Nude picture of Chance playing sax in his apartment. Photo taken by Brian Eno. Frame from IKEA, developed by his friend, Jerry "Cable Guy" Torque, who claims he wrote the guitar part to "Flip Your Face."

N. Faxed upcoming tourdates with Burger King DOUBLE WHOPPER® Nutrition Facts (as requested):

Newsfeed