The Jesus and Mary and Scarlett Johansson Chain Record A New Album

In 1998, we thought The Jesus and Mary Chain released their final album, the conflicted and divided portrait of a band on the brink of deterioration titled Munki (spelling courtesy of Jonathan Davis).

In 1998 Scarlett Johansson starred in the Robert Redford vehicle The Horse Whisperer, the year's winner of Oscars for Best Director, Best Actress, Best Picture, and Best Child Actor (if I'm not mistaken).

In 2003, Jim and Will Reid (a.k.a. Jesus and Mary, respectively) were sitting around in their underwear, eating Oreos and playing Battleship.

Also in 2003, Scarlett Johansson was blasting off into superstardom as the apple-bummed beauty she is, lighting up the screen as Charlotte in Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation. The film's final moments included a tense whisper from Scarlett's Charlotte into the ear of Bill Murray's Bob Harris (proof that starring in Ghostbusters will ALWAYS get you laid) to the sound of the JAMC's "Just Like Honey" from 1985's Psychocandy.

Flash forward.

On April 27, 2007, Scarlett joined the Scottish lads on stage at the Coachella Music Festival in Pomona, California to sing backup on "Just Like Honey" and proceeded to announce her commandeering of the entire entity, effective immediately. The Reid Brothers, now subservient to Scarlett's sex appeal and sultry voice, would follow every order and fulfill every whim of the starlet.

Luckily for fans of washed-up, money hungry has-beens (just kidding, I still love you JAMC... and Pixies... and Morrissey... and The Police... and Genesis... and Poison.. and...), Scarlett has demanded a new album be recorded as soon as possible. The album is said to be built around the centerpiece of the new jam "All Things Must Pass," which the band performed live on The Late Show with David Letterman, as Scarlett controlled the Reid Brothers by a combination of remote control and puppet strings from the wings.

From the mouth of Jim Reid himself (with Scarlett playing ventriloquist), the reunion "is not necessarily about any nostalgia trip," but is purely about money, I mean, love and art (and money). "There will be a new record, otherwise there wouldn't be any point to reforming," said Reid. Well, besides the cash and blow, Jim... besides the cash and blow...

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