The World Has One Less Mazarin To Kick Around

My sophomore year of college, I lived across the street from a fraternity house. No, it wasn't this pack of bigots, though I'm embarrassed to say that it was at the same institution. Anyway, like most frat guys, they were really into drinking beer shirtless on their front porch, with music blaring and barbecues blazing. Hey, whatever floats your boat, right? Well, no. Not when your boat is pumping Jimmy Buffet loud enough for all of Baltimore hear. Saturday after Saturday, my roommates and I were jolted awake by the pseudo-calypso strains of "Margaritaville," "Cheeseburger in Paradise," and all the other food-and-drink-themed classics. And when they got tired of that? "Sweet Home Alabama."

While I'm free associating, I might as well let you know that Jimmy Buffet has decided to sue some dude for copyright infringement. Apparently that dude, named Robert Akard, owns a site called Under One Hut, where you can buy all types of latter-day frat guy accoutrements, from crisp, khaki shorts to beach-themed home accessories. Listen, don't barf yet — it gets better. So the dude's web site is selling some Jimmy Buffet merch, apparently without permission from the Buffmeister. Interested? Well, for $16, this little beauty can be yours.

This kind of makes me nervous that Jimmy Buffet is going to sue TMT for adapting his lyrics to last month's news story. That would be really sad, because then Mr P would be totally penniless and have to go live in a box. Whoa, that's depressing. Please, Jimmy Buffet, for the love of all things tequila-infused, have a heart! Don't take away Mr. P's home!!!

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