Joanna Newsom Tours Australia

On the Next TMT Celebrity Gossip Report: Is Celebutant Harp Starlet Joanna Newsom (A) Returning to Public Performance with a Short Tour of Australia Early Next Year? (B) Barefoot and Pregnant with Steve Albini’s Baby? Or (C) Curating The Next “Recreationist Series Intl. Tolkien Is Bestival Festival” (This Year Taking Place at Dolwyddelan Castle, Conwy County, North Wales) as a Promotional Run-up to the Hush-hush Release of a New, Triple-Vinyl, Trip-Tronifolk Record, entitled Who Shot J.R.R.?, Available ONLY at Participating “Medieval Times: Dinner and Tournament” Locations?

Answer: A.

The answer is A, you jerkoff.

Joanna Newsom Tour:
01.16.10 - Brisbane, Australia - The Tivoli
01.16.10 - Sydney, Australia - Sydney Opera House
01.20.10 - Melbourne, Australia - The Forum Theatre
01.21.10 - Canberra, Australia - The Playhouse (Canberra Theatre Centre)
01.23.10 - Thirroul, Australia - Anita's Theatre

Photo: [mi_mi]

Epitaph Brings It Back to Y2K, Plans to Reissue Blood Brothers Albums

They may have only been around for 10 years, but The Blood Brothers had a profound impact on critics, fans, and that kid in your dorm that looked like this. It makes sense, then, that Epitaph Records would already announce plans to reissue the albums Burn, Piano Island, Burn, Crimes, Young Machetes, and March on Electric Children, all due for release on November 17. Each reissue will include previously unreleased live tracks and videos, in addition to music videos and B-sides.

Currently, you can find Blood Brothers singer Johnny Whitney and guitarist Cody Votolato playing in the band Jaguar Love, and bassist Morgan Henderson, drummer Mark Gajadhar, and singer Jordan Blilie playing with Past Lives.

Burn, Piano Island, Burn tracklisting:

Disc 1:

1. Guitarmy
2. Fucking's Greatest Hits
3. Burn, Piano Island, Burn
4. Every Breath is a Bomb
5. Ambulance vs. Ambulance
6. USA Nails
7. Cecilia and the Silhouette Saloon
8. Six Nightmares at the Pinball Masquerade
9. The Salesman, Denver Max
10. I Know Where the Canaries and the Crows Go
11. God Bless You, Blood Thirsty Zeppelins
12. The Shame
13. Cecilia and the Silhouette Saloon - Live (Reading Festival 2005)
14. Pink Tarantulas (off the Ambulance vs. Ambulance single)

+ "Ambulance vs. Ambulance" video

Disc 2:

1. Jungle Rules Live - DVD

Crimes tracklisting:

Disc 1:

1. Feed Me to the Forest
2. Trash Flavored Trash
3. Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck
4. Peacock Skeleton With Crooked Feathers
5. Teen Heat
6. Rats and Rats and Rats for Candy
7. Crimes
8. My First Kiss at the Public Execution
9. Live at the Apocalypse Cabaret
10. Beautiful Horses
11. Wolf Party
12. Celebrator
13. Devastator

Disc 2:

1. Ladies and Gentlemen (off the Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck single)
2. Metronomes (off the Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck single)
3. Crimes (alt. version) (off the Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck EP)
4. Peacock Skeleton with Crooked Feathers (alt. version) (off the Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck EP)
5. Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck (live) (off the Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck EP)
6. Trash Flavored Trash - Live (Reading Festival 2005)
7. Peacock Skeleton With Crooked Feathers - Live (Reading Festival 2005)
8. My First Kiss at the Public Execution - Live (Reading Festival 2005)
9. Live at the Apocalypse Cabaret - Live (Reading Festival 2005)
10. Rats and Rats and Rats for Candy - Live (Reading Festival 2005)
11. Teen Heat - Live (Reading Festival 2005)

+ "Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck" video

Young Machetes tracklisting:

Disc 1:

1. Set Fire to the Face on Fire
2. We Ride Skeletal Lightning
3. Laser Life
4. Camouflage, Camouflage
5. You're the Dream Unicorn!
6. Vital Beach
7. Spit Shine Your Black Clouds
8. 1, 2, 3, 4 Guitars
9. Lift the Veil, Kiss the Tank
10. Nausea Shreds Yr Head
11. Rat Rider
12. Johnny Ripper
13. Huge Gold AK-47
14. Street Wars/Exotic Foxholes
15. Giant Swan

Disc 2:

1. Laser Life - Nick Zinner remix (off the Set Fire to the Face on Fire single)
2. Nausea Shreds Yr Head - Gajamagic remix (off the Set Fire to the Face on Fire single)
3. Street Wars/Exotic Foxholes - Gajamagic remix (off the Laser Life single)
4. We Ride Skeletal Lightning - Live (KXLU 2006)
5. Laser Life - Live (KXLU 2006)
6. Camouflage, Camouflage - Live (KXLU 2006)
7. Lift the Veil, Kiss the Tank - Live (KXLU 2006)
8. Vital Beach - Live (KXLU 2006)
9. You're the Dream Unicorn! - Live (KXLU 2006)
10. Giant Swan - Live (KXLU 2006)

+ "Laser Life" and "Set Fire to the Face on Fire" videos

March on Electric Children tracklisting:

1. Birth Skin/Death Leather
2. Meet Me at the Water Front After the Social
3. March on Electric Children!
4. New York Slave
5. Kiss of the Octopus
6. Siamese Gun
7. Mr. Electric Ocean
8. Junkyard J. vs. The Skin Army Girlz/High Fives, LA Hives
9. American Vultures

Faith No More Announce U.S. Tour. FINALLY!

Faith No More, one of the many bands of Mike Patton and one of the few bands to justify the existence of “funk-metal,” have, at last, announced plans to bring their reunion tour to these United States of America. The band, recently reunited after an 11-year break, have been playing a bevy of dates around the world on the cleverly titled “Second Coming” tour.

Here's how it went down: American fans felt their hearts breaking after they heard of Faith No More's initial reunion (TMT News) and spent day after day waiting for some sort of sign that the band would be bringing the awesome piano coda (and the rest of their songs) back to U.S. stages. Those same fans became overjoyed when they read bassist Billy Gould’s Twitter account last week and saw some exciting news: “Tweet THIS: In response to all of our concerned US brethren...YES...we are now actively planning US dates."

I’m already preparing my Mr. Bungle shirt and Doc Martens for the show, even though no dates or further information have been made available.

Morrissey Collapses on Stage, Discharged From Hospital, Cancels Tonight’s Show

On Saturday, October 24, Morrissey was performing at the Oasis Leisure Centre in Swindon, England. During a rendition of “This Charming Man,” he collapsed on stage with breathing difficulties. A spokesperson for the Great Western Hospital that night said Morrissey's condition was "stable," while The Guardian reported yesterday that Morrissey had been discharged from the hospital. Today, however, Morrissey's official website announced that tonight's show at the Bournemouth Academy has been canceled due to "medical advice."

Ticket holders for Bournemouth Academy and the abandoned Swindon Oasis concert are advised to hold on to their tickets and await news regarding potential new dates or refund. Customers will be notified where possible and full information posted with ticket outlets and venues.

Morrissey has already cancelled previous tourdates this year due to illness, so when he was initially taken off stage by two of his bandmates, the crowd reportedly started booing. Jillian Moody, an audience member speaking to the BBC, explained that the crowd didn't realize how serious the situation was. “I didn't think he looked particularly well, but then again, he's sort of well known as a reclusive character, so I sort of thought that was just the way he was when he was on stage.”

The former Smiths star is tentatively due to visit The Netherlands, France, Belgium, Germany, and Ireland before moving on to the U.S. as part of his current tour. Look for his B-sides album Swords (TMT News) today in UK stores and November 3 in the US.

This week, Rammstein released a new album titled Liebe Ist Für Alle Da ("Love Is There for Everyone"). Who gives a shit about Rammstein, right?? WRONG. Not only did these crazy German pervs recently release a video for first single "Pussy" on adult website Visit-x -- which appropriately features a chick rubbing her poon, another sucking off some dude's throbbing gristle, and a high-arc cum shot that ker-splats on a to-be-lusted-over blonde's ass -- they've also released a box set version of the album that rivals The Smashing Pumpkins' Aeroplane Flies High as the best box set ever!

Scheduled for release later this year, the set features a special-edition version that contains the full album, five extra tracks, and blah, blah, blah, who gives a shit about the actual music, etc. The real draw? THE SEX TOYS. Yes, dear TMT reader, the set, housed in a metal flight case, comes with handcuffs, lubricant, and SIX pink dildos. This means you can have one up your ass, one in your vag, one in your mouth, and still have three leftover to stick in friends and family! Not quite ready to stick a fatty dildo up your turd-shooter? Don't worry! Rammstein have included dildos of various sizes, so if you think, say, dildo #5 looks rather tasty, it wouldn't be a bad idea to sit on #4 first and work your way up. The best part? The dildos are apparently sized according to the band members' members, so now you can practice all you want before Rammstein passionately deflowers you in person.

Now this is how you stay relevant! Ball's in your court, Vampire Weekend.

Liebe Ist Für Alle Da tracklist:

1. Rammlied
2. Ich Tu Dir Weh
3. Waidmanns Heil
4. Haifisch
5. B********
6. Frühling in Paris
7. Wiener Blut
8. Pussy
9. Liebe ist Für Alle Da
10. Mehr
11. Roter Sand

Wooden Shjips Tour East Coast

I decided to take a nap before writing this story today, and just as I was drifting off to sleep, I was struck by the most “genius” idea. “Wooden Shjips!” I said to myself. “I’ll write a piece entirely using seafaring words, such as “setting sail for tour” or “Ahoy! The San Francisco psych garage band is embarking on a mighty voyage across the East Coast.” Then I woke up and I realized how stupid the idea was. THANK GOD FOR NAPS RIGHT???

So now here you have it, just a simple story about how awesome this tour will be and about how horribly deficient the right side of my brain is. The cool thing about this tour is that Wooden Shjips are performing new musical arrangements for the 92Y Tribeca’s Halloween weekend screening of the spooooky film The Wicker Man. I will now refrain from any “dad” jokes about it being rated “Arrrrrr.” You’re welcome!
10.24.09 – Baltimore, MD - The Golden West Café*
10.25.09 - Washington, DC - The Red and The Black**
10.26.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Kung Fu Necktie***
10.27.09 - New Haven, CT - Café Nine****
10.28.09 - Northampton, MA - The Elevens
10.29.09 - Somerville, MA - P.A.’s Lounge*****
10.30.09 - New York, NY - Wicker Man Party at 92Y Tribeca******
10.31.09 - New York, NY - 171 Lombardy St********

*The Flying Eyes, Ringo Deathstarr

**Black Whales

***Birds of Maya, Sounds of Kaleidoscope

****The Stoned Ambassadors

*****Sunburned Hand of the Man

****** Effi Briest, Silver Summit

*******Vivian Girls, Crystal Stilts, Religious Knives