Joe The Plumber Stretches His Irrelevant 15 Minutes in an Effort to Worsen Country Music

Apparently sensing that his moment of seemed relevancy was quickly coming to an end, faux-famed Samuel Wurzelbacher joined forces with The Press Office on October 28.

Better known to America as "Joe the Plumber," Wurzelbacher signed on with the Nashville-based PR representation offices to handle his booming media requests. Yes, it's apparent now that the whole "Joe the Plumber" election trend is pretty out of control, despite some key discrepancies. FACT: This man's first name ISN'T EVEN JOE. This much is obvious. Worse yet, FACT 2: Wurzelbacher is an unlicensed plumbing technician. He ISN'T EVEN A PLUMBER.

He also isn't a country singer, but apparently technicalities aren't important in the frivilous news sector of presidential elections, and that's the reality in which we're operating here. What started as some (incorrect) name-dropping on Sen. John McCain's part has turned into a possible record deal with a major label for our Holland, Ohio everyman.

According to The Press Office's Jim Della Croce, Wurzelbacher doesn't even have any notable musical talent. He is a country music fan who can sing and "knocks around on guitar," Croce told Politico. But hey, with a "(name) the (noun)" setup this catchy, a guy can make do. Such a moniker has done wonders for Larry the Cable Guy, right?

It's done enough for Wurzelbacher to put him in touch with country music artist and producer Aaron Tippin.

And if his knocking around doesn't put Wurzelbacher on the radio airwaves, maybe we can at least watch for him in any upcoming sequels to Larry the Cable Guy, Health Inspector. But with any luck, after November 4, everyone will fully realize the insignificance of non-Joe the non-plumber.

RIP: Shakir Stewart, Def Jam Executive VP

From Billboard:

Def Jam executive VP Shakir Stewart reportedly committed suicide today (Nov. 1) in Atlanta, according to sources. No other details were available at deadline.

"L.A. Reid and all of us at Island Def Jam Music Group are deeply saddened by the passing of our dear friend and colleague Shakir Stewart," read a statement sent from the label today. "Shakir was an amazing man in every sense of the word. A truly incredible friend and father who was an inspiration to not only our artists and employees, but to his family and the many people that had the privilege of counting him as a friend. Our hearts and prayers go out to his family at this very difficult time."

Stewart succeeded Jay-Z at the top of the Def Jam ladder in June and also retained his duties as senior VP of A&R at Island Def Jam. The Oakland, Calif., native signed such artists as Rick Ross, Young Jeezy and newcomer Karina Pasian.

- Def Jam
- Huffington Post article: "Shakir Stewart, Jay-Z's Successor At Def Jam, Dies"

Henry Hey Trio Gets Press for Awesome McCain/Palin YouTube Videos, But Their Jazz Is Whiter Than Ted Stevens’ Pubes

Henry Hay, your soon-to-be favorite jazz man, has been getting attention lately for his YouTube videos. But why should you care about his decidedly white jazz? It's easy to appreciate late-’50s hard bop, partly because the sound is so damn good, but what about the era's aesthetic? Whenever I hear modern jazz simply mining those old sensibilities (call it lounge jazz, I guess) I vomit in my throat. Why? Well, since the popularization of jazz, emerging from ‘sophisticated’ classical music's migration to the Southern USA, the art form has never stood still for very long. You could even go so far as saying jazz as a genre is an illusion -- based on certain harmonic principles, yes, but never relevant without progression.

Some would say that the likes of Henry Hey and his brand of jazz are simply aping a sense of nostalgia long forgotten by the public at large. Others would say like-minded musicians are just keeping the dream alive... and you know... I couldnt agree with them more.... I couldnt disagree... with you... I couldnt agree... with you more, than the fact that--

Just watch the videos:

*These videos were solely responsible for this article being written.

RIP: Frank Navetta, Founding Descendents Guitarist

From Descendents' official website:

We're very sorry to announce that founding member of The DESCENDENTS, and close friend Frank Navetta passed away on October 31, 2008 after becoming ill over the course of a few days. This is obviously a huge loss for the DESCENDENTS family. His contribution to the band, and to music in general can not be overstated. Frank will be truly missed. We will share information about memorial services when we find out.

- Frank Navetta Wikipedia entry
- Descendents official website
- Descendents Wikipedia entry
- BlastingRoom Studios
- YouTube video: "Descendents Live Early 80's in color"

Common Unveils Universal Mind Control, Hypnotizes Fans Into Wanting Album

Chicago-based rapper Common will be releasing his eighth full-length release December 9 via Geffen. The album will span a nice round 10 tracks and will feature the likes of Kanye West, Santogold, Pharrell Williams, and Cee-Lo Green. According to Billboard, one track even features the MC rapping over a Pat Benatar-inspired guitar riff. Production on the album will be split between The Neptunes and Outkast crony, Mr. DJ.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Common is a cool guy -- I loved 2005’s Be, (TMT Review) -- but I am really on edge to see the cover art on this bad boy. If it is anything like 2007’s Finding Forever or 2002’s Electric Circus, fans might have to prepare for total sensory overload.

Two new tracks from Universal Mind Control can be heard here for those interested.

Universal Mind Control tracklist:

RIP: Yma Sumac, Peruvian Folk Entertainer

From The Washington Post:

Yma Sumac, a Peruvian folk entertainer with an astonishing vocal range who surged to fame in the 1950s with an "Incan princess" mystique that captivated millions of record-buyers in search of exotic sounds, died of cancer Nov. 1 at an assisted living facility in the Silver Lake section of Los Angeles.

She was believed to be 86, according to personal assistant Damon Devine, who said he had seen the birth certificate.

- Yma Sumac official website
- Yma Sumac Wikipedia entry

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