Justin Timberlake Launches His Own Label; JC Chasez and Joey Fatone Split a Hot Dog

Justin Timberlake finally has his own label, Tennman Records, a joint venture with Interscope. And in case you don't know who Justin Timberlake is, he is the world's greatest performer and Pitchfork Media's "Number One Dreamy Boy of the Year." Since his years as a shaved chest puppet in N-SYNC, Timberlake has always dreamt of being in control of something with sounds and mixer board thingys. Timberlake will serve as chairman and CEO of the new company, which will be distributed internationally by Interscope Geffen A&M. Timberlake will also be presented with a plaque for BET's "One Nice Chest" award, and he will also be placed in the Guinness Book of World Records for the only human male to never have reached puberty.

With all joking aside (try to figure out which ones were jokes; he really has a label now, people), Timberlake will be joined in the boardroom by former Sony BMG Entertainment VP of A&R Ken Komisar, who will serve as president. The first signings to Tennman have yet to be announced but will most likely be ultra-neato. That is a fact.

In a statement, Timberlake squeaked out, "We are all excited about the talent we have to offer already on our roster, and I cannot wait to introduce the world to my new discoveries." Timberlake then reminded everyone around him that he has done many drugs and that he is cool. Still on thin ice due to low record sales and no one really buying into the whole "bringin' sexy back" campaign, the artist luckily remains signed to Jive for his own recordings, according to an unreliable source.

Since his 2002 solo debut, Justified, I have been a huge sexified fan of Timberlake. He is the most successful solo artists in music ever, and he's probably like number one on the Billboard Hot 100 since the beginning of time. He's constantly selling out arenas worldwide. If there is anyone that I would like the interview for TMT, it would be the Sex Man himself. Despite my negativity and third-grader sarcasm, this label might actually be a success and include decent pop acts on the lineup. Sorry for my apathy. On a more positive note, I'll end this article by reminding you that you can currently hear JT's lovely voice in the animated porno, Shrek the Third.

Newsfeed