Karl “The Architect” Rove Designs New Mates of State Album, Kori And Jason Forced To Record, Tour

Two weeks ago, Karl Rove left his White House Deputy Chief of Staff and senior advisor positions in a teary farewell. The Republican campaign wunderkind known as "The Architect" no longer serves at the pleasure of the President, and rumors of his future swirled without any regard for aerodynamics around the news media and Rove's husky body. What would he do? Where would he go? President Bush stood by his side, metaphorically arm-in-arm, as Rove dropped his bomb. If we could have heard Rove's thoughts at that moment, it surely would have been like the scene from the Brendan Frasier vehicle, The Mummy, in which Brendan's hired hand reassures him with the inspirational line, "Your strength gives me strength." And as Rove walked off into the sunset, bags packed and heart broken, America looked on, wondering whether Karl, Dear Karl, would ever love again.

Well, I am happy to report that, yes, Karl Rove has landed on his feet. It turns out, throughout his time in the White House as the professor of Dark Arts, Rove kept a delightfully upbeat paramour. His mistress: Music. His genre: Seduction!

Rove, split from the President, has poured all that broken love into his new project: Mates of State! That's right, Karl, Dear Karl, has joined forces with Kori and Jason, the only two people who have as much love as he. The new addition has not been without its headaches. Karl is an incorrigible alpha-male, and he can't shake his Architect role, leading to hilarious sitcom-like scenarios that I've coyly called "Karl's Snarls."

It sounds like bad news, but boy oh boy, our Dear Karl is whipping those Mates of State into action. Because of Karl, and Karl alone, the group has gone back into the recording studio. They've recorded three tunes with Chris Walla, wow! A new album is under construction. Meticulously crafted, 9/11 security-themed, and deliciously raucous and poppy, Karl is a little bit Mies van der Rohe, a little bit rock ‘n’ roll.

Karl is in a good place now, and Mates of State, bless their souls, are in an even better place because of him. They're even going on a tiny mix tour with some sweet acoustic shows. It's a short list, so don't expect a show at the White House anytime soon. A breakup is always hard, and everyone needs time to heal. Karl's love is too strong to keep him down; luckily Mates of State caught it, for their sake and ours.