Hey kids! You know about the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, right? Sure ya do! But whaddaya know about the Monopoly Man? Sure thing, the bespectacled top-hat-waving ol’ money grubber is just as 100% real as you or I or the bunny that brings you teeth-rotting sweets! And if ever you believe enough and have enough heart and are in biiiiiiiiig enough trouble with the IRS, just close your eyes and wish hard enough. He’ll appear with a couple big ol’ sacks of money, a new tune to whistle, and a whole lotta heart.
At least that’s what happened for hip-hop genius/legend Ms. Lauryn Hill. See, sometimes it happens that celebrities “forget” to pay their taxes, or have issues with giving money to the government or whatever. And this is pretty much what happened with Ms. Hill for the years 2005-2007, when she reportedly pulled in $1.8 million from film and music royalties. So the IRS got pissed. (But more than anything its feelings were hurt. Ahhhhh.) And the IRS threatened Hill with jail time and a $100,000 fine. Luckily, Ms. Hill had faith and a ton of really awesome hit songs, and when she clicked her heels and said his name backwards three times, Uncle Pennybags and his cohorts at Sony Music materialized in a cloud of magical smoke. Sony offered Hill a million dollar deal, plus money for studio time. The IRS offered Hill till May 6 to pay down some of that $$$ she owed. And Hill offered us, the people, the promise of five new songs. So how directly is Hill’s debt to the IRS directly related to her deal with Sony? Is it at all? No one’s exactly saying, but that’s how magical record industry fairies are — keepers of secrets, wielders of great fortunes. And in the end, isn’t it happily ever after for everyone concerned? The end.