Lauryn Hill Cancels European Tour, Is Crazy

If you’re anything like me (white, male, twenty-something, getting pudgy, own a wide assortment of Harry Potter t-shirts), you’ve probably been wondering when ex-Fugee/current wackjob Lauryn Hill was going to piss you off again. The last time the Great Miseducated One raised our ire was back in October when she popped out of her spider hole to pose for a photo op with history’s most contemptible homemaker, and before that was in 2006 when Hill forced the breakup of the freshly reunited Fugees by demanding that everyone working with the band (including Wyclef and Pras) call her “Ms. Hill.” Along the way, she’s enjoyed alienating her fan base with increasingly erratic performances, preferring to shirk the time-tested pop music maxim “I do it all for the fans!” for the less than cordial “You simpletons are lucky I’m stooping so low as to play my extraordinary work for such common trash.” Hell, in 2003 she even took the liberty of calling the Catholic Church a bunch of Satanists and baby rapers right on their home fucking turf. Actually, that was really cool. Props to Lauryn Hill on that one.

But I grant Hill no props for her latest advancement in the field of divanautics. Festival organizers announced last week that Hill had cancelled her headlining performance at the Stockholm Jazz Festival along with every other date on her now defunct European tour. Hill reportedly cited “health reasons” for the cancellations, despite the fact that her opening gig at Stockholm is a full month away. So one of two things is happening here: Either Lauryn Hill has a life threatening illness and is really bad off, or she just felt the need to shoot her career in the foot yet again. It’s more than likely a combination of the two: Lauryn Hill possesses some debilitating illness where she cannot help but squash her career into icky icky goop every time she is presented with a chance to redeem herself. Man, whatever happened to the pluck and determination of this Lauryn Hill?

RIP: Barry Beckett

From Billboard:

Producer and keyboard player Barry Beckett, who recorded and accompanied singers Aretha Franklin, Bob Dylan, Bob Seger, Paul Simon and numerous country music stars, has died, his family said on Friday.

Beckett, 66, died at his Hendersonville, Tennessee, home on Wednesday, his family said. He had been diagnosed with cancer and suffered strokes, according to local media.

- Barry Beckett Wikipedia entry

sunn 0))) to Tour, Kid Midnight to Write About It While at Work

Okay, hold on a second... let me help this customer... awkward pause]. Alright, sorry about that. Have a good night, sir! What were we talking about? Oh, right yeah! Monumental Metal Monoliths [sunn 0))), pumped as hell about receiving the vaunted Eureka! merit badge for their new one on Southern Lord, Monoliths & Dimensions (TMT Review), are sprinting off on a tour of the Midwest and are finalizing dates and schedules for a West Coast tour in August and a jaunt around the East Coast in September.

Interesting fact: sunn 0))) have not set foot in the Midwest in quite a while, and for some of the states/cities this will be the very first time the band has played there-- hold on... 'nother customer...

Sorry about that, just some whiny old bitch who couldn’t find the vodkas. Where were we? The lineup for these here shows will be as follows:

Attila Csihar -- invocations

Steve Moore -- trombone, keys

Stephen O’Malley -- guitar

Greg Anderson -- bass

Cool, right? Who doesn’t want to watch a guy named Attila deliver invocations?? Touring with sunn 0))) will be labelmates Eagle Twin, recent Southern Lord signees.

Ahhh, sorry to say this, but my boss just got back from his lunch break and I really need to make it look like I’m busy. Quick, here are the dates for sunn 0)))’s “American Live Aktions”:
07.02.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle
07.05.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Varsity Theater
07.06.09 - Omaha, NE - Sokol Auditorium/Underground
07.07.09 - Kansas City, MO - The Riot Room
07.08.09 - St. Louis, MO - The Firebird
07.10.09 - Dekalb, IL - House Cafe
07.11.09 - Pontiac, MI - Eagle Theater
07.12.09 - Newport, KY - Southgate House

A Belligerent Russia, Concerns Over Energy Security, Terrorist Threats, Lifting Europe Out of Recession… Fuck That: The Green Party Wants to Legalize File-Sharing

Last week, millions of Europeans voted in elections for the European Parliament (with turnout expected at a democracy-lovin’ 45%). Of course, this should be a time for the disparate nations of the European Union to debate how Europe should engage with an increasingly hostile Russia, how its future energy needs can be secured, and how to respond to Islamic extremism. The Green Party, on the other hand, hopes to obtain votes by promising to help millions get their favorite music absolutely free. They have already shown themselves to be on the side of dastardly file-sharers by blocking legislation that would make it easier to disconnect alleged pirates from the internet and opposing a law that criminalized forms of copyright infringement.

Your correspondent was seriously pissed at finding out about this particular policy after he had casted his all-important vote (Liberal party ftw!), naively going into this election wanting to vote for a party who campaigned for greater European cooperation and advocated reform of the Common Agricultural Policy (Euro elections are exciting stuff). Oh well… just have to wait another five years, by which time of course all file-sharers will be locked up in jail and the state will be monitoring all websites its citizens visit.

Women Rejoice! Lilith Fair without All the Straight Jokes and Pachouli: Cat Power, The Pretenders, and Juliette & The Licks Outdoor Tour It

After watching The Fabulous Stains for, like, the thousandth time, dyeing each other's hair, smoking toothpick-shaped cigarettes Chan stole from her mom, and drinking the peach schnapps Chrissie bought with her fake ID, Chan Marshall, Chrissie Hynde, and Juliette Lewis decided they were going to be best friends forever. Or at least for the summer. They called their respective record labels and set up a series of outdoor shows. Tickets are on sale now. Men, don't worry, there's something in it for you, too; grassroots sources predict that these shows will not only be a great place to listen to punk-tinted indie pop, but it will also be a primo place to pick up chicks.

Tourdates:
08.08.09 - Hampton Beach, NH - Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom
08.09.09 - Asbury Park, NJ - Stone Pony
08.10.09 - New York, NY - Central Park Summerstage
08.12.09 - Boston, MA - Bank of America Pavillion
08.13.09 - Upper Darby, PA - Tower Theatre
08.14.09 - Washington, DC - Warner Theatre
08.16.09 - Columbus, OH - LC Pavillion Outdoor
08.18.09 - Chicago, IL - Aragon Ballroom
08.20.09 - Council Bluffs, IA - Harrah’s Council Bluffs (Stir Cove)
08.22.09 - Littleton, CO - Denver Botanic Gardens at Chatfield
08.23.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Red Butte Garden Amphitheatre
08.25.09 - Troutdale, OR - Edgefield Amphitheatre
08.26.09 - Vancouver, BC - Malkin Bowl
08.27.09 - Redmond, WA - Marymoor Amphitheatre
08.29.09 - Saratoga, CA - The Mountain Winery *
09.01.09 - Pala, CA - Pala Casino - Starlight Theater
09.03.09 - Los Angeles, CA - The Greek Theatre

* The Pretenders and Cat Power only

The Dodos Tour the World; Thousands Conditioned to Crave Beer with a Hint of Lime

I'm a slave to advertising. What makes it worse is that I'm well aware I'm picking up some dang Cottonelle because it has a foofy dog on it.

Well now marketing geniuses have tapped into my music library, so I'll inevitably be purchasing crappy beer in the near future. In case you missed the ad, The Dodos' standout song "Fools" was featured in a Miller Chill commercial (via Stereogum). Seven bucks, meet drain.

In an interview with Pitchfork, the duo says they've sucked in a vibraphone player and expanded to three members since last year's album The Visiter, and now they're working on a new album, tentatively scheduled for a fall release. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to tend to a beer run.

The tourdates:
06.14.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Northside Festival
07.01.09 - Bergen, Norway - Landmark
07.02.09 - Oslo, Norway - Revolver
07.03.09 - Helsinki, Finland - Tavastia
07.04.09 - Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07.09.09 - Toronto, ON - Phoenix Theater
07.10.09 - Ottawa, ON - Ottawa Blues Festival
07.11.09 - Montreal, QC - Metropolis Theatre
07.16.09 - St. Tropez, France - Plage de Rock Festival
07.17.09 - Berlin, Germany - Melt Festival
07.18.09 - Dour, Belgium - Dour Festival
07.19.09 - Niljmegen, Netherlands - Valkhof Affaire
08.08.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Getty Museum
08.14.09 - Seattle, WA - KEXP Mural Amphitheater Summer Series
08.29.09 - San Francisco, CA - Outside Lands Festival
09.01.09 - Birmingham, England - Glee Club
09.02.09 - Bristol, England - Thekla
09.03.09 - London, England - Bush Hall
09.04.09 - Glasgow, Scotland - King Tut's
09.05.09 - Manchester, England - Ruby Lounge
09.07.09 - Paris, France - Maroquinerie
09.08.09 - Brussels, Belgium - Botanique Rotunda
09.10.09 - Hamburg, Germany - Molotow
09.11.09 - Berlin, Germany - Magnet
09.12.09 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Melkweg
09.13.09 - Dorset, England - End of Road Festival
10.04.09 - Austin, TX - Austin City Limits

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