Lawsuits Mounting, Beginning to Clog Up YouTube’s PoolTube

As if Google didn't have enough problems already -- I specifically refer to its rumoured difficulties in finding a suitable builder to construct houses fashioned entirely from SOLID GOLD for its ten top executives -- its prime bitchlet YouTube is facing another raft of lawsuits. Yes, yet more courageous warriors are willing to bravely join the noble legions willing to stand up and be counted when the sacred tenets of copyright and obscene profits are impinged upon.

In addition to the fabled legend of the Viacom suit, the English Football Premier League and Bourne Co. (a gargantuan music publishing concern of whom I have NO prior knowledge and no interest whatsoever) have launched a joint class-action suit against poor old GooTube for copyright infringement. Added to this, Robert Tur’s craggy lawsuit, concerning his beloved films of the LA riots being roughly manhandled by YouTube, is now being “supported” by his very newest BFFs at Universal and Viacom, yet another example of multinational corporations standing up for the common man (another example being when they bring back the McRib).

Google has now formally responded to the aforementioned suit from brave Viacom, which is claiming no less than one billion smackeroos for infringement -– although, personally, methinks Viacom is just pissed that Google didn’t knock on its door offering it a topless hand-shandy the same way it did with all the major labels last year. Google’s statement basically claims that Viacom consists of a bunch of mean-ass fucks (“Viacom's complaint threatens the way hundreds of millions of people legitimately exchange information, news, entertainment, and political and artistic expression because that is what we’re all about and why can’t we all just love and kiss and play speak and spell together blah blah blah blah blah”) and, anyway, can’t do nothing 'cuz Google has the metaphorical BOMB in it hands in the form of the deified DMCA Title II. It reckons the DMCA protects itself due to the fact that it offers a safe harbor to websites, if they agree to remove infringing material following a formal notice.

But Google cares so much about its buddies in the multinational country club, it doesn’t end there! It's still promising the evil-quashing ‘Claim Your Content’ filter thingy is on it’s way. Soon. Honest. Viacom, impudent scamp that it is, has essentially said that the filter won’t work (so little faith in technology!) and will be too much work for its house dicks to check up on.

So, onward the glorious struggle rumbles. Difficult to say how things will pan out in the end; the most likely outcome is that YouTube will come to some sort of out-of-court settlement with the litigants along the lines of the deals they previously brokered with the majors and once again be compelled to don their freshly laundered terry-toweling wank sock to provide executive relief to all concerned. Those corporate blue balls are a real killer.

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