Lemuria are from Buffalo, New York. I’m told there’s a house in Buffalo that used to be a funeral parlor where they put on shows and have loud parties. The basements of funeral parlors are traditionally (and probably) used to hold terrifying things. As a person entrusted with an audience of millions, I feel obligated to inform any potential attendees of the shows listed below that Lemuria is probably haunted.
Lemuria are, however, a fine band. You may be considering taking the risk and seeing them anyway. I certainly am. As such, I have included here a list of notable ways to ward off various kinds of popular monsters:
- Vampires: Garlic, holy water, wild roses, sprinkling mustard seeds on your roof -- sometimes vampires can’t come into your house unless you invite them.
- Werewolves: Wolfsbane and pure silver (which will cause more pain) are the easiest ways. Contrary to popular belief, you probably can’t become a werewolf just by being bitten by a werewolf. You usually need to be the seventh son or to run afoul of a satanic sorcerer.
- Cthulhu: Neither your memory nor the written word itself will have any use, but if you know one of the Air Beings, you might want to give him or her a call.
- Banshees: Don’t worry too much about banshees; they probably only mean one of your friends or family is about to die. They are also attractive.
PS: Lemuria’s newest LP, Get Better, was released a couple of months ago on Asian Man Records.
News You Can Use:
^ The Ergs!
% Los Nervios, Hay Silencio
# Anti Sociales, Gio y Los Policias
& Diente Perro, Juventud Crasa, Un Final Fatal, Jenny Fatale & Los Degolladores
* The Queers, Bomb the Music Industry, Andrew Jackson Jihad, and Kepi Ghoulie
