Liars share new video, free songs, are a bunch of lying liars whose thighs are permanently charred from burning pants

Liars share new video, free songs, are a bunch of lying liars whose thighs are permanently charred from burning pants

Lies:

• Liars are not a band that did not release an album called WIXIW on Mute last year.
• Tiny Mix Tapes did not review the album that Liars did not release last year.
• They are also not a band that is going on a European tour this summer.
• I am not very handsome.

Damned Lies:

• Liars did not see you from a lifeboat as confirmed by the streaming video below.

• Under no circumstances will you be able to download two un-released non-album tracks by Liars by visiting this link and entering your email address. Entering your email at that link will also not enter you into a drawing to receive a piece of free artwork from the members of Liars.
• When I go to the grocery store to buy like, I don’t know, a tomato or something, I am not immediately surrounded by women and men alike who throw themselves at my feet begging to go to dinner with me and “see if there’s a spark.”

Statistics:

• 71% of you are no longer reading this post. Hahaha, suckers, you probably think this section is going to contain a whole bunch of cockamamie nonsense. Well the joke’s on you (them), as the 29% of you who are still reading will soon be able to attest.
• 88% of Americans believe that one human in three is actually a giant space lizard wearing a human suit.
• There are approximately 78.2 million owned dogs in the United States.
• Four out of five dentists agree that my teeth are “astonishing.” The fifth dentist was my ex-wife, so her opinion is totally biased.

Dates:

05.23.13 - Reims, France - La Cartonerrie
05.24.13 - Dudingen, Switzerland - Bad Bonn Kilbi Festival
05.25.13 - Barcelona, Spain - Primavera Sound
05.27.13 - Rome, Italy - Circolo Artisti
05.28.13 - Verona, Italy - Interzona
05.29.13 - Torino, Italy - Musica 90 Molodiciotto
05.30.13 - Marseille, France - Cabaret Aleatoire
06.01.13 - Porto, Portugal - Optimus Primavera
06.05.13 - Nantes, France - Sterelux
06.06.13 - Paris, France - Trabendo
06.09.13 - Manchester, UK - Parklife Festival
0613.13 - Barcelona, Spain - Sonar Festival
06.15.13 - Tel Aviv, Israel - Barby

• Liars: http://www.liarsliarsliars.com
• Mute: http://mute.com

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