Lightning Bolt Add Japanese Tourdates and ONE U.S. date, Presumably Just to Make My Last Story Obsolete, Waste My Jokes, Rub America’s Nose in It

Hey, remember like a couple weeks ago? A lot was different back then, huh? It was still summer, the world was still reeling with the possibilities of the Pavement reunion... and, of course, we here at TMT dropped the sensational, Pulitzer-worthy news bomb that Rhode Island noise-rock duo Lightning Bolt would be pummeling Australia and New Zealand (still as-yet virgins to their visceral live show assault) with a round of shows in support of their forthcoming Earthly Delights record on Load.

It was a standstill moment, to be sure. Millions were affected by this deftly crafted story and unprecedentedly informative news item. Destinies were altered. Lives previously considered by their errant leaders to be “worthless” suddenly seemed fulfilled and driven. Families torn asunder were reunited by the joyous news and the mellifluously qualitative manner in which the delicate piece’s author described its finer points to them, juicy tidbit by juicy tidbit, like a buttery sirloin steak... made of velvet... draped in U.S. Grade A “Dark Amber” maple syrup... being cooked via the convection of passing sound waves from Claude Debussy’s Greatest Orchestral Hits all being played simultaneously from a number of sleek Bose Wave® combination alarm clock /radio/iPod dock/CD changers in Platinum White arranged in an ideal Platonic circle around God’s immaculate parlor room in his (2nd, larger, and even more private than the first) secluded, Frank Lloyd Wright-designed summer home in Martha’s Vineyard.

And then?

...uh, we um, kinda sorta found out about the Japanese dates that they’re also doing on the tour and one U.S. date, so we had to hurry up and post a new one chop-chop.

(cough)

...and, you know, here it is. Thanks, everybody. Thanks for reading. Thank you.

New and Improved Lightning Bolt Tourdates:
10.29.09 - Providence, RI - Firehouse 13 #
11.05.09 - Tokyo Shibyua, Japan - O-Nest
11.06.09 – Nagoya, Japan - Club Rock’n’Roll
11.07.09 – Kyoto, Japan - Urbanguild
11.08.09 - Yamaguchi Houfu, Japan - Indo-Yo
11.09.09 – Fukuoka, Japan - The Voodoolounge
11.10.09 – Ooita, Japan - Athall
11.11.09 – Okayama, Japan - Pepper Land
11.12.09 – Osaka, Japan - Shangrila
11.13.09 - Tokyo Shibuya, Japan - O-Nest
11.14.09 – Enoshima, Japan - Oppa-La
11.15.09 - Tokyo Shindaita, Japan - Fever
11.16.09 - Tokyo Kouenji, Japan - UFO Club
11.20.09 - Melbourne, Victoria - Thornbury Theatre
11.21.09 - Sydney, New South Wales - Manning Bar
11.22.09 - Brisbane, Queensland - Hi Fi
11.24.09 - Auckland, New Zealand - Transmission Room
11.25.09 - Wellington, New Zealand - San Francisco Bath House
11.26.09 - Hobart, Tasmania - Mona
11.27.09 - Adelaide, South Australia - Fowlers Live
11.28.09 - Melbourne, Victoria - Trades Hall (Static Age Festival)

# benefit show for Dan Tanner with Tinsel Teeth and Beat Mountain

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