Lily Allen (who is cute as a fucking button!) has decided that she no longer wants to be Lily Allen anymore. In fact, she hasn’t been Lily Allen for a while now… you see, after her parents were killed in Crime Alley by Joe Chill, Lily took it upon herself to reach mental and physical perfection, harness the fear she felt as she watched her parents die so that she could turn it against criminals, and begin a one-woman war against crime. Lily Allen is no longer Lily Allen, because Lily Allen is The Batman.
Okay, she’s not Batman, but she did get married last year and changed her name from Lily Allen to Lily Rose Cooper and wants to go by that name professionally as well. I still think she should go with Batman because that name seems to be pretty popular.
I also think that Lily Allen should be far more popular than she is but I’m a little biased because I tend to have crushes on cute, brunette, British chicks. I also think you should not judge me for how excited I am at the prospect of a new Lily Allen album, which is the main reason for the name change, as Mrs. Cooper has announced that she will be heading back into the studio to begin work on a third album. I can’t wait!
• Lily (not) Allen: http://www.lilyallenmusic.com