Low to Quietly Cut Emissions on Upcoming European Tour

After catching word of Radiohead's recent pledge to cut carbon emissions on their tour supporting their recent album In Rainbows (TMT Review), Low has decided to one-up those English bastards by introducing zero-emission guitars into their everyday lineup.

Spontaneously combusting guitars have long plagued those with the skills and backbone to shred wantonly. Despite the obvious need to continually purchase new guitars, the burning lacquer releases dangerous amounts of acrylic suspected of contributing to global warming into the atmosphere. Carbon emissions from guitarist Herman Li of Dragonforce in 2007 alone are believed to be responsible for the recent extinction of the Bubal Hartebeest.

"Honestly, I don't know why we didn't think [of this] before," said Alan Sparhawk, guitarist and vocalist for Low. "Just the sheer number of forests that have been needlessly clear-cut to support rock ‘n’ roll's fascination with shredding is unacceptable. I feel that these new shred-resistant ‘axes’ will really bury the ‘hatchet’ on this issue."

Don't call ‘em slow-core just cause it's Low-core:

In related news, Alan Sparhawk's side project Retribution Gospel Choir will finally release its self-titled debut March 18 on Mark Kozelek's (Sun Kil Moon/Red House Painters) label, Caldo Verde. The shred-resistant axes are rumored to have been used on the album.

[Photo: Tim Soter]