Lyrics Born Illness To Strike The U.S. This Fall

The epidemic of Lyrics Born illness that has swept uncontrollably across Australia in the past month is expected to hit the United States by mid-October, says Julie Louise Gerberding, M.D., M.P.H., director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Thousands of Australians are already mad ill. Some are even suffering from what scientists refer to as ‘terminal flow,’” implored Dr. Gerberding, in a recent press conference. “We need to act now, before our whole country is g’d up from the feet up.”

Dr. Gerberding made it clear in her speech that it is not if but when America will be hit by this particularly devastating strain of silly freshness. Scientists have even predicted a date and location for patient zero: October 18 in Eureka, California. You can do your part by watching this informational video and listening to the tracks on Lyrics Born’s MySpace page with your family. Also be sure to watch out for the following symptoms:

- Sick beats
- Infectious lyricism
- Spitting hot fire
- The involuntary compulsion to throw ones hands in the air, wave them with no regard to consequence.

Scientists expect the outbreak to travel as follows:

* Del the Funky Homosapian

** Ryan Shaw