MAGIK MARKERS ARE YOUR YOUTH MINISTER

By Petya Romanov on 09-26-2007

All right, we must flesh this out before things get too wicked. I keep hearing knocks and budges like the house is breathing. Someone is going to find out what this is all about. But that is not what this is all about. Oh shit. Ghost trails have begun. FOCUS! Laughter outside. My eyes are heating up and shifting without my command. My view is a microwave oven. FOCUS! GALLOWS! English Punk rock/Hardcore punk band from Watford! LOUDER! BIGGER! FASTER! THE TEXT ISN”T REALLY GROWING? Like Gallows, fast and obnoxious. They played a show for some kids, hooligans (the ghost trails have lost their need for an original object and are just flowing independently across my field of view). Really cold now. FOCUS! There are so many light sources shut up! Have you ever been relegated to a kindergartner? I’m sure Frank Carter has. Every time he goes on stage right? Loses oneself and goes and gets a tattoo (Reading Festival) This time, hold on kids, no this time he (UFO SIGHTINGS IN MY LIVING ROOM and I CAN”T SWALLOW ANYTHING) I CAN”T TAKE IT> IT CREEPING OUT OF MY FINGERNAILS NOW> IS THIS EUPHORIA? No this time he does something so lame, so predictable, he injures himself on stage. Boring. Have some more jam with your toast, mum? Nah thanks. What’s on the telly? Oh Frank Carter has gone an injured himself while performing at Stoke last night. When hasn’t he injured himself. Next up please.

FOOT NOTE

Do I lose points if I tell you I’ m listening to LCD Soundstyem right now? I sincerely like them. But fuck ikeep swallowing copper blood and the page is jumping like a sour lisa frank folder. How fucking obvious right? But sometimes you get someplace so hard it just makes sense. And I think Frank Carter has it. Fuck the fingernail jumping bit again. PURE EUPFOHRA! Have I stopped the clock? But in all seriousness we are going to assume that you know that this whole while the page is still dancing and there’s a fucking disco party going on all around me. Its great except I’m not invited.

“"Gallows is not my life. Never has been, never will. It's a hobby I get paid for.” Frank Carter. He understands. But the poor fucker has a gnarly head wound and I’ammm safe on the couch listening to osme chubby guy make me vibrate . (SMILES AND YELLS UNCONTROALLBY FORGETS HOW TO BREATHE)JOY DIVISION. What do you want to know? Frank Knows it. Now I’m just going by feeling and its getting alive. I sat in a lurching most convenient phase with being completely horizontal not doing anything save thinking. NO lay thinking aside. I opened my jaw and thought about the possibilities and now I’m gnawing to feel aliveit’s like a multi tiered shopping mall. Each hour is another level but the joke is it’s only been mamybe forty five minutes and my nose is on fire. BLAST! God Psyche. Let’s get po-mo. How much am I faking? Is this sincre? Was Frank sincere? He knows they are oinly going to be a flash and nothing more. Mercury lit and diffused before the alarm was signaled. So maybe. Now it’s all about physical skin on skin. Oh should I also say I haven’t slept in over thirty six hours. No homo. The worst part is crying in the arms of an ex lover.

By Petya Romanov on 09-25-2007

So, I took the weekend off to go visit the green country up north. While staying in Toronto, I noticed one of my abso favo bands Akron/Family was doing a gig. I checked them out and was pretty psyched. After the show, I was thinking I should stay around and try and score an autograph, but then I saw their van and realized bigger things awaited me.

They were still getting rubdowns or toweling off inside, so no one was about. I sweet talked Greg Davis (touring buddy of Akron/Family) into letting me pretend to drive the van. He even let me honk the horn(!). Then he said he had to go back inside to find some chicks or something. I was all, like, whatever and went about looking around in the van for some cool souvenir. That's when my eyes fell on a dark Deering Siera Banjo with a hard case and pick-up! I handled it with the fragility of a newborn baby. But I wasn't satisfied. That is, until I uncovered a Reverend 6-String (olive green, semi-hollow) in a TKL Case, a sunburst Fender Jaguar Baritone 6-string, and finally (!) a MiniDisc recorder in a grey bag.

I thought about the morality of my actions for only a brief second, because just as I was unloading the last of my bounty, some chode from Megafaun was approaching me. I muttered some nonsense and made it back to my car unaffected.

So, what I'm saying is: I have a lot of sweet gear that you should buy because it was at one time owned by the great Akron/Family.

Okay, sorry. I'm lying. At least sort of. I, Petya Romanov, did not steal that stuff, but unfortunately some lousy person actually did. As reported by Pitchfork, all the equipment I mentioned above were lifted from the vans of Akron/Family, Megafaun, and Greg Davis after their show in Toronto. Yeah, I know, it's pretty lame to steal from such nice guys (maybe even more lame to pretend to have stolen from them for the interest of a cheap article on TMT). But seriously, if you have any info call (715) 864-1972 or e-mail either Akron/Family or Megafaun.

Tour-wise, the fam still seems to be a go-go.

# The Dodos

$ Phosphorescent

@ Megafaun and Greg Davis