Major Labels Receive Sorely Needed Compensation From Lost Revenue Caused by eDonkey, New Papa Roach Out Now

The unfortunately named eDonkey was the latest peer-to-peer service to receive a fisting from the RIAA. But damn those suits and their magical latex gloves; every time they pull out their arms, it's covered in Benjamins. The two shmucks in diapers, Sam Yagen and Jed McCaleb, got 30 million dollar enemas from Mistress, and all she could say was, "another domino falls." How ominous. When you name your company after the whipping post of the animal world, you are bound to get a lashing, I guess.

But this hole thing is for nothing but kinky kicks. There will always be a way to get free shit. Whether it's really getting your elbow dirty, Youtube'n, torrents, or the Hype Machine, new technology will continue to be made available. Better than it was before.

Better. Stronger. Faster.

Lee Majors can do what he wants to stop it, but what he has to realize is that even though you've shut down yet another P2P service with your bionic arm and $6 million bank roll, creativity always works faster than the courts. And I still have hundreds of gigs worth of music that I did not pay for. I don't know what to download right now, though. The choices are so broad that I can barely focus on one thing. What are you downloading?

John Milton: Who me?

Mr. Pants: Yeah, what should I download? Is anything coming out this week?

John Milton: If steep, with torrent rapture, if through Plaine,

Soft-ebbing; nor withstood them Rock or Hill,

But they, or underground, or circuit wide

(lines 299-301 from Paradise Lost: Book VII)

Mr. Pants: Dude! Send me the link.

John Milton: Done! Wait 'til you hear W.A.Y.U.H. You'll bust a nizzut. -Mr. Pants

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