Marco Polo? What Was That You Said? Oh. Eloe Omoe.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be in the mind of a criminal? Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you could control time? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be God?! Well, I'm pretty sure The Cell takes care of the first question, Click is a pretty good option to answer number two, and Bruce Almighty is as close as you'll probably get to number three. Movies can basically answer any of your deepest, darkest desires, and that's why we go to watch them – to feel better about ourselves by finding out other people think in the same fucked-up ways. But without music, how could movies even attempt to portray their profound messages to the mindless public? Before the advent of organized sound, how could anything be portrayed anywhere?! I know, these are truly horrifying thoughts, and someone should make a movie out of them before I start to question my sanity. But ideas matter, and if someone isn't thinking all the time, no one will be able to come up with new ways to postpone the death of music (i.e. the onset of the apocalypse/Mel Gibson's Apocalypto), and that's where journalism steps in.

Anyway, these two crazy motherfuckers, Tim and Sam, decided to name themselves after a famous jazz musician and play some music, naturally. But then they started thinking: what type of music should they play, how, and most importantly, why? These thoughts inevitably led them to the nearest AMC movie theater, where they paid $10 dollars each to see American Hardcore. Leaving the theater, they went home and read some reviews on the internet and joined some heated discussions on IMDB, when they finally understood why they were so indecisive about where to proceed musically – because Henry Rollins is a fucking sellout.

This revelation led to the births of thousands of bands and the deaths of a million others, but ultimately aided in Tim and Sam's decision to smash their instruments and make music underwater while swimming with sharks in the warm waters of the Red Sea. Deemed "freesludge" by this drugged-out dude I know (how else can you come up with new words?), the music of Eloe Omoe definitely takes its cues from the man-eating sea beasts they used to frolic with in their youthful days. They've decided to gather their sounds and lead the way on the "Dentition is Destiny Tour" while taking their newest full length Marauders with them, which won't be out officially until late December on Animal Disguise Recordings. Please, if you have a heart, let Eloe Omoe rip it from your chest to feed their hungry friends below.

Sam is a girl. Bet you didn't know that. Cool, huh?: