As if an attempt to prove gray hair does not have to hold you back, Adam Yauch, a.k.a. MCA a.k.a. Nathaniel Hörnblowér of Beastie Boys fame, has finally landed the dream producing job of every 1980s boy with no future and a lot of angst. Yauch, after several tries and lots of talk, will be producing the latest Bad Brains record.

The group decided to go for the classic lineup this time, featuring singer H.R., guitarist Dr. Know, bassist Darryl Jenifer, and drummer Earl Hudson. For those of you too young to appreciate the importance of Bad Brains, run as quickly as your tiny little mix tape legs will carry you to the video store and rent American Hardcore. Not only will you see Dr. Know and H.R. waxing off on what the hardcore punk scene used to be like, but you will also be educated on other bands that truly matter.

According to Billboard, the new record is titled Build a Nation and is slated for an early summer release, tentatively floating around the months of late May/early June. Megaforce Records will put out the album, the same Megaforce that helped launch the career of Metallica and keep the career of Mushroomhead blooming. (YES!)

Things finally seem to be coming full circle for the little Beastie. It was rumored the name Beastie Boys was chosen because the B and B were inspired by the B and B of Bad Brains, and Bad Brains helped the Boys get off their feet. The boys first made an attempt to return the favor and mix minds with the Brains way back in the '90s, but after losing a battle to Madonna’s record label, Maverick, they were forced to wait until now.

Bad Brains are looking to return to their fast-paced hardcore roots with this release, abandoning the reggae-tinged releases of late. As for tour dates? Look for a few shows on the East and West Coasts, including an appearance with Beastie Boys at the Sasquatch Festival, held May 26-27 at the Gorge in George, Washington. However, Jenifer has said to not expect a big 30-date summer extravaganza.

Hey Hey CMJ, How Many Boys Did You Kill Today?

The CMJ Music Marathon has announced plans to merge with NYU for a hostile takeover of lower Manhattan. Slated to occur between Tuesday, October 16 and Saturday, October 20, the 27th CMJ Music Marathon is taking no prisoners. Not content with the levels of saturation normally achieved during its four-day stronghold on Manhattan and Brooklyn, CMJ is wisely teaming up with the fastest property-acquiring, tri-letter institution in the tri-state area. Worried about the plans to turn your rehearsal space into new freshman dorms? Better apply to play CMJ now! After all, CMJ's press release would like to take credit for the careers of The Shins ('06), Motion City Soundtrack ('05), The Arcade Fire ('04), The Killers ('03), Modest Mouse ('98), Eminem ('98), Black Eyed Peas ('97), Wilco ('96), Green Day ('94), Queen Latifah ('90), The Beastie Boys ('85), U2 ('85), Red Hot Chili Peppers ('84), and R.E.M. ('83).

To continue copying and pasting, there is alternative fun for those who aren't interested in music: test out panels, keynote speeches, film premieres, a Continuing Legal Education symposium, mentoring sessions, tutorials, and a sizzling, interactive lifestyle area. New York was rather lacking in the latter!

Random Tiny Mix Tapes Quiz

Which character is dry roasted?

A. Picasso the Monkey

B. Homer

C. President Bush

D. Edgar Bronfman Jr., Warner Music CEO

E. Mr. Peanut

In episode 8F04, season three, this character earns employee-of-the-month by averting a nuclear meltdown.

A. Picasso the Monkey

B. Homer

C. President Bush

D. Edgar Bronfman Jr., Warner Music CEO

E. Mr. Peanut

Who once had a column on TMT giving free advice?

A. Picasso the Monkey

B. Homer

C. President Bush

D. Edgar Bronfman Jr., Warner Music CEO

E. Mr. Peanut

According to Zack, what are the three worst things that can happen to a kid?

A. Measles, mumps, and money

B. Measles, money, and marriage

C. Measles, mumps, and midterms

D. Measles, money, and mothers

After being shown a map of Brazil by Brazillian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, this character said "Wow! Brazil is big."

A. Picasso the Monkey

B. Homer

C. President Bush

D. Edgar Bronfman Jr., Warner Music CEO

E. Mr. Peanut

This character compared Napster to slavery and Soviet communism.

A. Picasso the Monkey

B. Homer

C. President Bush

D. Edgar Bronfman Jr., Warner Music CEO

E. Mr. Peanut

The One-Hundred Per-Cent Solution: John Wiese Is Everywhere You Want To Be

It has all the characteristics of a classic hard-boiled mystery novel: a robbery or murder (extra marks for setting it in a locked room in a remote country house); the single, eccentric but irresistible, hard-drinking, hard-loving gumshoe; a monkey-boy lackey doing grunt work or a mousey assistant who consistently solves the crime; the uptown slut who puts on airs and always seems to get laid despite looking like she's been ridden hard and put away wet; a mess o' bungling cops and a mess o' false and "least likely to" suspects. Maybe an unnecessary butler or two.

Actually it has very little of that. But that doesn't mean the life of incurable, mind-maiming recorder and performer John Wiese is any less convoluted than those found in the most ingenious of whodunits. But it is a dunit rather than a whodunit, by someone who does it more than others. When it comes to Wiese, maybe it is best to just throw the info out there and hope it sticks.

The most exciting news is the imminent release of Wiese's debut album, Soft Punk, on Troubleman Unlimited (when you click on this link be sure to check out the message/plea from Wolf Eyes' Nate Young). Wiese wrote us to say he has also been playing a lot with C. Spencer Yeh and hopes that some of that will see the light of day soon and has collaborated with the Japan-improv entity Pain Jerk for an upcoming Harbinger album. The reissue of Remote Whale Control by Sissy Spacek is out now on Misanthropic Agenda.

And there's live news, too. Wiese will be the perfect aural antidote to lovers of fancy-pants foppies when he hits the U.K. in April and May for dates with Yeh, Evan Parker, Tim Barnes, Yellow Swans, Metalux, John Edwards, and Culver. Look, I have nothing against the vast majority of British bands; I just don't see the need for some of them to dress up in a pantaloons-and-ascot combo or as a modern day "Artful Dodger" just to fetch the morning paper. He will then head to Israel at the suggestion of a recently-befriended BBC orchestra conductor to play a couple of shows where he will try to seek out Menahem Golan movies (true) and stalk Roni Superstar (possibly not true). I will only suggest the Golan rock/disco, sci-fi, "futuristic" (set in 1994!) musical The Apple... but I secretly hope he already owns it.

Of course Wiese will be at this year's No Fun Fest in Brooklyn on May 18, as Sissy Spacek. The mouth-watering four-day event has quickly become an annual rite of passage for outlaw fans to see an appallingly appealing crowd of characters, conflicts, causalities, complications, changes, crises, and closures (the "seven C's" to all would-be sleuth writers out there).

$ Honed Bastion, Logic Probe, and Fetal Distress

% Evan Parker, C. Spencer Yeh, Tim Barnes, Yellow Swans, Metalux, John Edwards, and Culver

^ as Sissy Spacek w/ Incapacitants, Carlos Giffoni, Raionbashi & Kutzkelina, Anti-Freedom, Mouthus + Axolotl, Grunt, Princess Dragonmon, and Charlie Draheim

The Secret Machines Loses Founding Member Benjamin Curtis

Founding member Benjamin Curtis has officially left The Secret Machines. Curtis played guitar and sang for the group since the beginning, so it's quite the shock to see him skedaddle just before the recording of the group's third album. His brother and now former bandmate Brandon Curtis made an announcement on The Secret Machine's official message board:

I am writing to make a couple of announcements. First of all I want to let everybody know that The Secret Machines have begun work on our third album. We expect to begin recording sometime in the beginning of May. Unfortunately, I also must share that after 7 and 1/2 years of playing music together Benjamin has decided to no longer be a part of the band. It is a sad day but also an exciting one as he prepares to focus full time on his new creative venture, School of Seven Bells. He has told me that he expects to be finished with a new record very soon as well as there being plans in the works to play some shows here in New York debuting the band. Of course Josh and I wish him all the best.

He doesn't spoil the surprise in the post, but TMT is happy to announce the exclusive info that he will now be the sixth member of Radiohead. Congrats, you're moving on up! In other news, I have a dentist appointment on April 24 and Radiohead will be headlining.