Is Your Sex Life Experiencing a Slump? Try The All-New Product Hip-Hop™!
By Chris Gliddon on Sep 29 2006
Are you finding yourself cold and lonely in an empty bed? Have you wondered why it is that you, an attractive individual in his/her mid-'20s with an excellent job and great looks, have not been able to engage in sexual relations?
Well, look no further!
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Act now, and we'll include our newest product, Classical Music™ as an added bonus! This revolutionary product has found an increase in the consumption of cannabis by 25% and an increase in magic mushrooms by 12%! With us, you'll be thinking that violin is making the color purple in no time!
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Side effects of Hip-Hop™ or Dance Music™ may include, but are not limited to, a potential for increased criminal activity by roughly 50%. Classical Music™ should not be used while operating heavy machinery or while attempting to utilize the features of Hip-Hop™ or Dance Music™. Users who have mixed products have experienced side-effects such as loss of sexual attraction and a decrease in social interaction.
Results may vary. To submit your own experience with our products, please visit http://www.musicaltastetest.com.
The Album Leaf Tour After New Album Veers Violently Into Hip-Hop-Style Collabs
By Mr Emo on Sep 29 2006
So, the Album Leaf are apparently a band from whom we can expect pretty much the same thing on every album, right? Well, apparently not. Word has it that their new release, Into the Blue Again — simultaneously a reference to Talking Heads' classic "Once in a Lifetime" and an admission of a failure to innovate — is in fact their most daring piece of work yet.
With instrumental duties on the album turned over almost exclusively to the band's only real member, James Lavelle, the sounds found on their new slice of shellac are unlike anything we've come to expect. Gone are the soft keyboard tones and rock-solid drum loops found on the Sigur Ros-aided In a Safe Place. In come collaborations with Richard Ashcroft, Mike D, Badly Drawn Boy, and Thom Yorke, amongst others. The album flits from song-to-song, in a schizophrenic but increasingly measured way, culminating in the moody "Bunny in Your Flashers," featuring one of Yorke's most affecting vocals. It certainly puts The Eraser in its place.
The Album Leaf will be falling all over the place this autumn:
10.05.06 – San Diego, CA – Museum of Contemporary Art
10.08.06 – Los Angeles, CA – Troubadour
10.18.06 – Phoenix, AZ – Rhythm Room
10.20.06 – Austin, TX – Parish
10.21.06 – Houston, TX – Proletariat
10.22.06 – Denton, TX – Hailey’s
10.23.06 – Baton Rouge, LA – Chelsea’s
10.24.06 – Birmingham, AL – BottleTree
10.25.06 – Tallahassee, FL – Club Downunder (FSU)
10.26.06 – W. Palm Beach, FL – Respectable Street
10.27.06 – Orlando, FL – Social
10.28.06 – Tampa, FL – Orpheum
10.29.06 – Atlanta, GA – The Earl
10.30.06 – Charlotte, NC – The Neighborhood Theater
11.01.06 – Philadelphia, PA – Jonny Brenda’s
11.02.06 – New York, NY – Bowery Ballroom (CMJ)
11.03.06 – Washington, DC – Rock and Roll Hotel
11.06.06 – Brooklyn, NY – North Six
11.07.06 – Cambridge, MA – Middle East Downstairs
11.08.06 – Montreal, PQ – Main Hall
11.09.06 – Toronto, ON – Lee’s Palace
11.10.06 – Buffalo, NY – Big Orbit’s Soundlab
11.11.06 – Ann Arbor, MI – Blind Pig
11.12.06 – Chicago, IL – Lakeshore Theater
11.13.06 – Minneapolis, MN – 400 Bar
11.16.06 – Seattle, WA – Chop Suey
11.17.06 – Vancouver, BC – Plaza Club
11.18.06 – Portland, OR – Doug Fir Lounge
11.19.06 – Euguene, OR – W.O.W. Hall
11.21.06 – San Francisco, CA – The Independent
Hot Chip Tour; Jock Bands Get Ready To Shout NEEEERRRRRRDS From The Back Of The Room
By Nunpuncher on Sep 29 2006
Seriously, you guys in the USA have it easy. Your disco artists know how to look the part. Check out James Murphy. Motherfucker's like 60 or something, but he still manages to rock the blazer and t-shirt look like it's 2003. You'd see him from across a bar, and you'd think, Hey, check out grandaddy over there, but then you'd realize how perfectly his hair is tousled... how he's not shaved for exactly the right number of days... and just how deep his eyes go... and how you totally didn't expect his thighs to be that smooth, and how it all feels so wrong but it's just so right, and, and...
Damn, I'm sure I had a point somewhere.
Oh, shit, yeah! Hot Chip! Tour! Series of tired jokes about how their nerdy appearance compares to James Murphy! Here's the dates!
11.01.06 - Baltimore, MD - Sonar ! %
11.02.06 - New York, NY - Webster Hall $ !
11.03.06 - Philadelphia, PA - Webster Hall ^
11.04.06 - Boston MA - Paradise % !
11.05.06 - Montreal, PQ - La Sala Rossa %
11.06.06 - Toronto, ON - The Mod Club % !
11.07.06 - Cleveland Heights, OH - Grog Shop ! %
11.08.06 - Columbus, OH - Wexler Center @
11.10.06 - Chicago, IL - Metro % !
11.10.06 - Chicago, IL - Smart Bar (DJ set)
11.11.06 - Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue * %
11.14.06 - Seattle, WA - Neumos % !
11.15.06 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge ! %
11.17.06 - San Francisco, CA - Mezzanine % !
11.18.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda Theater % !
11.19.06 - San Diego, CA - Casbah ! %
! w/ Shy Child
$ w/ Gang Gang Dance
% w/ Born Ruffians
^ w/ Justice
@ w/ Mouse on Mars, Birdy Nam Nam
* w/ Jamie Lidell
A Matt Pond PA News Story by rrrachel
By RRRachel on Sep 29 2006
You know those puzzles where you turn one word into another? Y'know, cat to dog is cat, cot, cog, dog? Watch Matt turn to Pond:
MATT
PATT
POTT
PONT
POND
That's not the only solution! This works as well:
MATT
MATD
MAND
MOND
POND
If you're supersmart, you can do it in only one move:
MATT
POND
There's a new album too called Several Hours Later, but there's nothing fun to do with that. Onto the tour!
10.07.06 - Fredericksburg, VA - Mary Washington University
10.08.06 - Philadelphia, PA - Theatre of the Living Arts
10.10.06 - Columbus, OH - Newport Music Hall
10.11.06 - Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theater
10.12.06 - Louisville, KY - Headliners Music Hall
10.13.06 - Covington, KY - Mad Hatter
10.14.06 - St. Louis, MO - Mississippi Nights
10.15.06 - Madison, WI - The Annex
10.16.06 - Minneapolis, MN - Fine Line Music Café
10.19.06 - Calgary, AB - MacEwan Ballroom
10.21.06 - Vancouver, BC - The Center in Vancouver for the Arts
10.22.06 - Seattle, WA - Moore Theatre
10.23.06 - Portland - Wonder Ballroom
10.24.06 - Sacramento, CA - Harlows
10.25.06 - San Francisco, CA - Warfield Theatre
10.26.06 - Los Angeles - Spaceland
10.27.06 - Tucson, AZ - Rialto Theatre
House Democrats Demand Investigation Of Buried FCC Reports; House Republicans Surprisingly Less Interested
By Squeo on Sep 28 2006
Earlier this month, Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) made everyone feel real awkward when she busted the door down at FCC Chairman Kevin Martin's re-nomination hearing. After snapping the elastic bands on several prominent senators' party hats, Boxer whipped out a 2004 FCC study on localism in the media that she believes was purposely buried. Unfortunately, the Senator delivered her speech next to a stack of amps and could not be heard above the pounding trance music.
Boxer remained unfazed and returned a week later, clutching another unreleased report on media ownership from 2003. The study found that "between March 1996 and March 2003, there was a 35% decrease in the number of radio owners," and that the largest owner, Clear Channel, "went from owning 62 stations in 1996, to 1,233 in 2003." Chairman Martin noted that he was not in charge at the time of the reports and tried to turn the stereo back on, but Senator Boxer slapped his hand away.
Since the discovery of the missing reports, a group of 34 House Democrats joined Boxer in requesting an all-out cavity search of the possible motivations behind the documents' concealment. In a joint letter to FCC Inspector General Kent Nilsson, the Democrats wrote: "If one or both of these reports were suppressed because they did not support official FCC policy, such actions could not only constitute fraud, but could also run counter to the FCC's stated goals of transparency and public involvement in its media ownership proceedings."
Representative David Price (D-NC) felt like adding a slam dunk of his own, and whispered, "Good public policy is supposed to reflect what is best for the American people. If the FCC can't be trusted to present the results of its own studies to the public, how can it be trusted to act in the public's interest when it comes to the ownership of our airwaves?" Price then winked at everyone and did a moonwalk out of the building.
Chairman Martin has now expressed equal concern over these issues and promises to release an updated report on media ownership before the end of the legal proceedings. If anyone needs to reach him before then, he will be sitting in his bedroom with the blinds drawn.