Melt-Banana Cooking Instructions, New Album, Altered Tour in Support of TOOL

Melt-Banana is an easy to prepare and fun snack the whole family can enjoy. It's more commonly known as fried plantains, but whatever: here goes.

First, slice ¼"-thick slices from a ripe plantain at an angle. Next, fill a frying pan ¼"-deep with cooking oil. Vegetable oil is preferred; however, depending on your budget and/or dietary needs, olive oil may be substituted.

The plantains should be fried in the pan for a few minutes, until the plantain "meat" seems well-cooked.

The next step is the oft-forgotten and arguably most important: The cooked plantains should be removed from the frying pan and placed on either a paper towel or on a plate. Smoosh the plantains with a smooshing device, more commonly referred to as a spoon.

Return the smooshed plantains to the frying pan, and fry until the plantains are slightly crispy. Remove from the frying pan and garnish with any of the following: brown sugar, salt, guacamole, or salsa. Try experimenting with your favorite garnishments. While most would refer to the completed dish as fried plantains, I'd encourage the use of Melt-Banana — this slight alteration coincides with the musical group's altered tour arrangements. Then, simply serve and enjoy.

Not since Ozzfest '98 have I been so compelled to see Maynard dance half naked on stage. TOOL's tour — with Melt-Banana opening on several dates — coincides eerily with the re-formed Rage Against the Machine and The Smashing Pumpkins.

Melt-Banana's altered tour in support of their new album Bambi's Dilemma and also partially in support of TOOL: