Metallica Go Acoustic, Bob Dylan Vindicated

Do you still need black wristbands to play a Martin? Does that aggressive stance work for fingerpicking? Will there be sweat?

All those questions will be answered October 27 and 28 when Metallica perform acoustic sets at the 21st Annual Bridge School Benefit Concert at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View, CA.

Metallica is not known for its sensitive side. The band is known for its dark side. And for its annoying side -- Lars. Nevertheless, for a good cause, even the guys who scared little kids with that creepy old guy in the "Enter Sandman" video will unplug to help out. It's for the kids.

Other performers include:

Advance tickets are $150.00 and $75.00 for reserved seating and $39.50 for general admission, plus applicable service charges.

The Bridge School is an institute for children with disabilities both physical and verbal. Neil Young began organizing a concert to benefit the school after its instructors cured him of a high, mournful whine.

Fun Facts about Scissors and Sisters to Coincide with Scissor Sisters DVD Release

Did you know that scissors were probably invented in Egypt by real
live Egyptians a real long time ago?

Did you know that different types of scissors exist? Here are a few examples:

Tin snips are scissors used for cutting tin.

Pinking shears are scissors with a serrated edge for cutting fabric
without frayin' the edges. Wow.

Trauma shears are scissors used in emergency response situations.

Poultry shears are scissors that cut poultry.

How 'bout those skizzer facts! Now onto some facts about sisters!

I lied, I don't have any fun facts about sisters, as I never had one,
but I'm sure she'd probably like Scissor Sisters. Plus, she'd be super stoked about their new DVD that's coming out on November 12. She'd love the name of it too, 'cause it's called Hurrah - A Year Of Ta-Dah.

I can't keep writing this story after writing that.

I'm done.

Wire Releasing Read & Burn 03, Determined Not to Re-Release It All on Their Next LP

You love Wire. I love Wire. You probably have all three of the recently repressed, 180 gram collector's-edition LPs of the untouchable trilogy that was originally released in the late '70s but now available at their online store. I know I do. And like me, you might even wear your Pink Flag Enamel Badge in public as much as possible.

Or maybe you don't. In any event, we both know that Read & Burn 01 and 02 are so intensely good you want to shit your pants just thinking about putting them on again. So good, in fact, that anticipation for new material of the same caliber spoiled opinions of their otherwise stunning full-length, Send, with reviews usually consisting of cranky fans pouting about the presence of too many tracks already released on the Read & Burn series and a distressing lack of new facemelters.

Well, pout no more, dear reader: Read & Burn 03 is, according to pinkflag.com, "finished, mastered, designed and in production for a November 12th UK release." Not only this, but they've even gone so far as to defuse any reservations you might have about purchasing it immediately following its release, responding to the complaints about Send with a hypersensitive assurance that "none of the tracks will be included on the next full-length Wire album."

The EP will consist of 4 tracks spread over 25 minutes, meaning either a bunch of six-minute tracks or our first really long Wire tune -- either way, I'm getting myself all worked up here, so it's time to go consummate all this pent up exhilaration by putting Read & Burn 01 + 02 on at full volume and slam-dancing with my furniture.

Read & Burn 03 tracklisting:

Boredoms to Release New Live CD/DVD, Tour; Yoshimi to Release Documentary OST; You’re Welcome!

Do you know how to speak Japanese? Can you learn it? Because if you do or can, then you could be translating Boredoms/V∞redoms news for TMT!

You see, every time there's news about Boredoms, it's a pain in the ass to even report it. Why? Everything is in Japanese! I know, I know... the Westernization of Earth is a little behind schedule, but I assure you: with some increased focus on free trade, liberating, and teaching non-white kids English one by fucking one, we'll one day live in a beautiful world where your favorite beer will be available in every bar, where sites like freetranslation.com will become an internet dinosaur, where any geographic variation will be smoothed out with a good ol' Rowenta iron.

Until that glorious day comes, we'll just have to settle for less-than-perfect (imperfect) news stories about Boredoms. Not that what I'm writing isn't gold or anything. Come to think of it, you should probably be thanking me for my research skills, because boy do I have news for you: Boredoms are releasing a new CD+DVD set December 19! Titled Live at Sunflancisco, the live document will be released on Commmons, the same label that released Super Roots 9 (TMT Review) earlier this year.

AND THERE IS MORE. Yoshimi of Boredoms seems to have written the soundtrack to a documentary. It's called Yunnan Colorfree, and according to Commmons, it will be released November 21. Or, as freetranslation.com put it: "The truck listing of the documentary film "cloud south COLORFREE" the original sound truck 'YUNNAN COLORFREE' that YOSHIMI of BOREDOMS manages music arrived. ! !"

Doesn't that kind of read like a Pitchfork review?

Oh, no I didn't!

Yunnan Colorfree tracklisting:

Overcomplicated Logistics Deter Even the Most Determined Nada Surf Fans from Deciding to Attend a Show Nearest Them

I know, I'm one of them. What started as a simple discovery of the latest Nada Surf tour ended with intense analysis of the group's past material and speculation of the probability of material soon to be released. Equations came into play with factors such as: talent of Nada Surf's three members, individually; the sum of that talent as a cohesive effort as the group Nada Surf; the probability of that total cohesive talent being expressed as a masterpiece that may or may not be the upcoming release; and material that said talented individuals will tour in support of after the late October/early November East Coast shows are played.

Now, when it comes to weighing amazing past material blindly against the possibility of ass-kicking material yet to come (but not entirely blind, as you can preview a track off the forthcoming album here), well I don't take those kind of risks. I can't take that gamble. But maybe you are a risk taker. Maybe you love danger. Maybe you're willing to predict that the fifth studio album by Nada Surf is going to blow your mind, and you want to buy that ticket and take that ride. Well please, do so, and allow me provide you with some guiding light. Imagine this, a touch-tone menu, and my voice, the soothing calm of a matter-of-fact and omniscient, rock 'n' roll directory operator.

Commence imaginative activity:

- If you loved the 2005 release The Weight Is a Gift and would like to see Nada Surf tour predominately with this material from now to November 2 -- or, if you're a shallow power-pop fan who gets turned on at the possibility of hearing "Popular" played live, press 1.

- If you're stoked for the upcoming release of Lucky and would like to see Nada Surf tour predominately in support of this material in the opening months of 2008, press 2.

- If you KNOW Lucky is going to kick ass and you're hella stoked for the early 2008 tour, press 3.

- If you don't know shit about the Lucky release, press 4.

- If you choose to abstain from decision making at this time, press 5.

----

#1- Tourdates for the Fall of 2007 are as follows, with tickets on sale now:

#5- Huh uh, I don't think so. I know I listed this as an option, but it's not. You pick from 1-3 and you pick now.

Rivers Cuomo to Release Demos, Prepares to Erase Past Seven Years from Existence Using Harvard Degree

Remember back in 7th grade when your friend first played Weezer's Blue Album over at his house? Somewhere between the inexplicable freshness of the chord progression of "My Name is Jonas" to the orgasm-inducing breakdown of "Only in Dreams," it occurs to you: I've discovered music. My 7th grade was in the year 2000. Six years after Weezer's debut CD hit the market, five years after Windows 95 came with the "Buddy Holly" video, three years after the gloriously bitter Pinkerton hit shelves, and two years after Weezer ceased to exist. Oh, and one year... uh... eh... since I started puberty.

The story of Weezer since that day in 2000 has been one mostly of disillusionment and disenchantment. Since reforming, Weezer have slowly become too important to ignore, yet too disappointing to support. Kind of like The Simpsons or the war in Iraq. (Did I just compare Weezer with Iraq? Yikes.) Which is exactly why this newest piece of news should be exciting.

According to his MySpace account, Rivers Cuomo plans to release a new CD. Best yet, the word "Weezer" will not be printed in trademark "century gothic" font across the cover. Here's a fragment of his post:

I've compiled a CD of my favorite demos from the years 1992 to 2007 and Geffen Records has agreed to put it out this December, on the eleventh. I hope you enjoy it. I may also be able to put out more demo CDs in the near future.

Releasing ancient demos pulled from the crypt isn't exactly new for Rivers. Tracks spanning beyond Weezer's existence have been posted on previous incarnations of his website, as well as the official Weezer site. But if Rivers' song catalog is any indication, plenty of "new" material exists for the new CD. Here's pulling for the triumphant release of "I Will Poor On Their Car Seats" at last!

The Real Slim Cuomo also mentions the planned eventual release of some sort of book that will undoubtedly include some crazy credentials in the About the Author leaf. Something along the lines of Rivers Cuomo, BA, Harvard University, Ph.D, Vipassana Meditation, Fk.D, Asian Girls, Fvt.Band, KISS, A/S/L, oldenuf/yes/yurmouth. Cuomo mentions doing research for the book, so unless he has taken a literal interpretation of finding himself, chances are its more than autobiographical.

For now though it seems that it will join the live DVD that never was in a lead vault where they've kept all of the good Weezer material from the past decade. I think my suave might be locked inside there, too.

  

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