Evolutionary theory was proved to be false last Friday the 13th, as around 250,000 Neanderthals attempted to buy tickets for Michael Jackson’s ‘This is It’ tour at the O2 arena in London. With tickets selling out in record time, promoters have seen this as an excellent opportunity to extort wealthy MJ fans by flogging some of the best seats on the “secondary market.”
AEG Live, the organizers of Jackson’s 50-date tour, authorized Viagogo to sell these premium tickets to homo sapiens using a reliable peer-to-peer platform. However, the head-honchos at Viagogo would have been pretty unevolved to not realize what a marvelous opportunity they had here to make even more money. Consequently, they began emailing other secondary ticket brokers, “offering them packages and discounts and thus raising the price on the secondary tickets even higher” (link).
Unfortunately for the monkeys at Viagogo, AEG Live cottoned on to their diabolical plan and has filed an injunction to make sure they sell tickets to fans instead of brokers. Since neither MJ nor AEG Live were going to receive any of the profits from these tertiary sales, you can understand them going ape-shit.
Tickets are being sold to chimpanzees on Viagogo from $250 and on eBay from £170. I think the religious right have won this round.
A couple of years ago I was living in London, not too far from where Throbbing Gristle set up the Death Factory and purportedly experimented with super high-pitched, super-irritating noises to keep a wandering group of vagrants from settling down too nearby their factory sweet factory. According to Simon Reynolds' Rip It Up and Start Again: 1978-1984, the itinerant vagabonds were so nonplussed by the sounds and their disturbing side effects that they circled the wagons and skedaddled on out of there, leaving Genesis P-Orridge and friends in loud and disturbing peace. This is kind of what I imagine Throbbing Gristle's upcoming performance at Coachella will be like, except magnified up to 5,000 times, and with Paris Hilton and a bunch of L.A. hipsters instead of no-account drifters.
And now you, too, can have a similar -- if smaller scale experience -- even if spending three scorching days in the desert isn't exactly your cup of tea -- unless you were planning on going to the UCLA show, because that date has been cancelled due to circumstances beyond the control of TG. Oh snap! But the sold-out New York and Chicago tour stops have added second dates, and the group is trying to find a replacement venue for the LA show. Tickets are on sale now
04.16.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Masonic Hall 04.19.09 - Indio, CA - Coachella
04.21.09 - Los Angeles, CA - UCLA 04.23.09 - San Francisco, CA - Grand Regency Ballroom 04.25.09 - Chicago, IL - Epiphany Episcopal 04.26.09 - Chicago, IL - Epiphany Episcopal* (JUST ADDED) 04.28.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Masonic Hall** (JUST ADDED) 06.19.09 - Copenhagen, Denmark*** 06.21.09 - London, UK - Heaven
*Bruce McClure
** Alan Vega, Emeralds
***The European Premiere of Throbbing Gristle performing a live soundtrack for Cerith Wyn Evans (who will attend the event) film The Sky Is As Thin As Paper Here & other TG sound works.
Alan W. Livingston, the music executive who signed the Beatles during his tenure as president of Capitol Records and created Bozo the Clown, has died. He was 91.
Livingston died Friday of age-related causes in his Beverly Hills home, said his stepdaughter, Jennifer Lerner.
It's been roughly 15 years since Jeff Buckley released his only album and sadly passed away, but there's yet another addition to the posthumous family: Columbia/Legacy will release Grace Around the World on June 2.
Billboard reports that the CD/DVD package, executively produced by his mother, features unreleased live performances from around the world, two unreleased tracks, and a whole lotta liner notes. Splurgers on the deluxe edition will also get a JB documentary entitled Amazing Grace.
I brainstormed a few other ways the word "grace" can be used, in case Columbia wants to keep milking it:
- Fall from Grace - Saving Grace - With Good Grace - Say Grace - Grace (Chicago Edition) - Grace You with His Presence (Holy Edition)
I'd post the tracklisting, but it's just so damn detailed that if you're actually going to purchase it, just peruse it here.
Couldn't score tickets to that Green Triceratops Gnarly Aurora Borealis show this Spring? No fear! Your second favorite band with an over-the-top clusterfuck of a name is touring the States this spring. Black Moth Super Rainbow, in anticipation of the May 26 release of its fourth LP Eating Us on Graveface Records (TMT News), is touring the Midwest and West Coast. The tour kicks off in Chicago and ends in Columbus, OH; former Secret Machines guitarist Benjamin Curtis' new project School of Seven Bells are along for the ride on all dates, except the Sasquatch! Music Festival
05.20.09 - Chicago, IL - Bottom Lounge 05.21.09 - Madison, WI - High Noon Saloon 05.22.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock Social Club 05.25.09 - Quincy, WA - Sasquatch Festival 05.26.09 - Portland, OR - Holocene 05.28.09 - San Francisco, CA - Bottom of the Hill 05.29.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour 05.30.09 - Costa Mesa, CA - Detroit Bar 05.31.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Rhythm Room 06.02.09 - Austin, TX - The Mohawk 06.03.09 - Denton, TX - Hailey's 06.04.09 - Little Rock, AR - Sticky Fingerz 06.05.09 - Nashville, TN - Exit/In 06.06.09 - Columbus, OH - Circus
Hey ya’ll. The news roundup is a little thin this week. Most of the press releases I had were related to SXSW and weren’t exactly news-worthy. All I figured out was that, as Annapocalypse mentioned, Pains of Being Pure at Heart are taking over Austin and that I really want to try and see Best Worst Movie on the Friday of SXSW. I’m heading down to that mess on Wednesday. I’m mostly excited about eating tacos.
- Just to clarify, The Melvins, as a band, are turning 25. The Melvins, as people, are old as fuck and are way older than 25 (sike, they are in their 40s... that ain’t too old.) Regardless, the boys are celebrating their band-birthday with some shows in May. The four shows will happen in New York, Boston, Chicago, and Austin and will feature the original lineup of Buzz Osborne, Dale Crover, and Mike Dillard. Trevor Dunn (bassist for Fantômas, Mr. Bungle) will join Buzz and Dale to perform Houdini later during the set. All of this happens in mid-May; you can find the details on the Ipecac site.
- Danish dudes Efterklang are currently on tour, hitting the West coast, SXSW, the South, and the East Coast during March and some of April. I like to say their name the way I think (yes I know he’s Austrian) Arnold Schwarzenegger would say it: ef-ta-klaang. I live in Georgia though, so it probably sounds more like “YEE HAW, EFTER-KLAN-G, YA’LL!” Anyway, you can find out the specific dates at their official site.
- Nine Inch Nails and Jane’s Addiction are heading out on tour together this summer, with Tom Morello and Boots Riley’s Street Sweeper as support -- ’90s in the HOUSE. The tour will run from May to mid June and will be the first time in 17 years the original lineup of Jane’s Addiction will tour (whoopee). You can find more details on either the Nine Inch Nails site or the Jane’s Addiction site, but I’m going to link to Nine Inch Nails because I don’t really care about Jane’s Addiction. Sorry.
- Have you ever thought to yourself, “Man, I wish I didn’t have to leave my house to go to a show. Wouldn’t it be awesome if David Bazan could just play in my living room?” Yeah, me neither. But if you are one of those people, you are in luck! David Bazan is releasing his latest record Curse Your Branches August 25 and is also doing some weird tour where he will play your house to “35-75 people.” Didn’t Music Tapes do something like this, only cooler? You can learn more about this at his website.
Due to my above-mentioned SXSW plans, you might get a “roundup” next week, you might not. Just in case, I leave you with this video (NSFW):
