Microsoft to release Xbox music service, promising optimized sound for your parents’ basement

Microsoft to release Xbox music service, promising optimized sound for your parents' basement

According to NME, Microsoft is launching a music service for the Xbox 360 console, creatively called Xbox Music. And since most gamers’ hands will be busy thumbin’ joysticks and pumpin’ penis, Xbox Music will utilize the Kinect motion-sensor controller to allow voice-activated searches for music.

Imagine a world where you can play Call of Duty 9: Who Gives a Shit and scream “Fuck me in the ass!” followed by Justin Bieber automatically playing on your speakers. That fantasy is now a reality with Xbox Music, and the only thing left is for your mom and dad to spring for that Mountain Dew vending machine and you’ll be set!

Over 11 million songs are expected to be included in the launch of Xbox Music, most of which will be Linkin Park remixes. Xbox Music will launch sometime this fall to coincide with whatever cockblocking video game you’ve already preordered.

• Xbox: http://www.xbox.com

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