Modest Mouse Head Out Empty-Headed for ‘Long Drive,’ Back Tour Bus into Cop Car, Kill Cop, “Float On” Not So Cool Anymore, Is It?

Laaaaaaaaaaaadies and Gentlemen of all shapes, siiiiiiiiiiizes!

Boys and girls of all aaaaaaages!!

Gather 'round, one and all!

Introducing the uncanny... the hideous... the ghastly... the supernatural... the utterly unfathomable... the...

(Pssssssst! Hey, cue the drum roll and freakily fun-housey, bad acid-trip, circus music, will ya? I'm tryin' to make a sales-pitch here. My kids gotta eat, ya know... sheeez!)

Anyway, were was I?... ahhhem... oh yeah:

... The utterly unfathomable... the absolutely abominable... Isaaaaaaaaaaaaac Brock!!!!

(applause)

Yes, yes, yes! Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!

Step RIGHT this way!

Come one, come all to witness this wanton wonder of the world, this ludicrous loose canon, this pheeeeeeeeenomenal freak-baby fresh out of the wild in our one-of-a-kind, never duplicated, repeatedly redundant "Modest Mouse Summer Tour and Freakshow!"

(oooooooooooooh)

That's right! Do NOT miss you chance to see famed frontman Isaac Brock angrily caged on a stage near you!

(ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)

He'll roar! he'll snarl! He'll MOST LIKELY self-mutilate! And He's COMING TO A STAGE NEAR YOU THIS SUMMER.

Witness as he drunkenly spews existentialisms at you in a lisp so disagreeable you'll with you were in church!

Cower in terror as he bates you and your fellow ticket-holders into letting him borrow a knife for a few moments!

Puke in disgust as he cuts the FUCK out of his chest for no apparent reason whatsoever!

Ladies and gentlemen of the world, DO NOT MISS your chance to see this knife-jabbing wonder of the world degenerate in front of thousands and inflict baffling and bloody wounds upon himself... and possibly others!

Note: As producer of the 2007 Modest Mouse Summer Tour and Freakshow, TMT Big-Top Productions is NOT responsible for and will be legally held harmless concerning the following:

- show cancellations due to drug-induced stupors
- show cancellations due to the untimely death of Issac Brock
- fans getting "contact highs" off of Isaac Brock's druggy sweat
- fans getting stabbed, accidentally or intentionally, by Issac Brock
- fans somehow contracting HIV

Welcome to the Big Show:

*** Not Confirmed

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