of Montreal Want You to Masturbate Before You See Them on Tour – At Least I Want You To

Boys, I'm sure you're all very familiar with your favorite masturbating techniques. Stick with them. But for all y'all ladies out there, here are some tips that will prove orgasmic before you head out to the of Montreal show:

- Dildo Sculpture: Go to an art store and buy some Plastiline clay. It's grey and comes in blocks, about 4 lbs. Mold it into any shape dick you like, and stick a condom on it. Then you can use it as a dildo. The good thing is you can always remold this clay. It's very realistic feeling.

- Baster Suction: Take the rubber bulb off a turkey baster and place it over your clit. Then squeeze it and release to create suction on your clit. It feels just like someone is sucking your pussy.

- Slip 'n' Slide: Wrap a bunched-up towel with Saran Wrap and put lube on it. It makes for a serious orgasmic experience. Put a few pillows together, place the wet, slippery towel on them, and then ride it! It feels so naughty.

- Kodak Moment: Get an empty film cylinder, one of the little plastic ones. Lick the rim of it and put it over your clit. Squeeze the sides and it creates a suction. Gently flick it while you put the end of a hairbrush in your pussy. Also works well in the shower when you fill it with warm water.

- The of Montreal Crouch: Throw Skeletal Lamping (TMT Review) on a stereo system with a subwoofer. Turn down the treble, turn up the bass, and press play. Straddle the subwoofer during "For Our Elegant Castle." It'll feel like the Virgin Mary's vibrator.

More tips upon request!
02.01.09 - Strasbourg, France - La Laiterie
02.19.09 - Pomona, CA - The Glasshouse
02.21.09 - Honolulu, HI - Loft Gallery & Lounge
02.25.09 - Auckland, NZ - King Arms
02.26.09 - Wellington, NZ - San Francisco Bath House
02.28.09 - Perth, AU - Perth International Arts Festiva
03.03.09 - Sydney, AU - Manning Bar
03.04.09 - Brisbane, AU - The Zoo
03.05.09 - Melbourne, AU - The Hi Fi
03.07.09 - Golden Plains, AU - Golden Plains Festival
03.10.09 - Osaka, JP - Club Quattro
03.12.09 - Tokyo, JP - Duo Music Exchange
03.15.09 - Singapore, SG - Mosaic Music Festival / Esplanade Theatre
04.13.09 - Carrboro, NC - Cat's Cradle
04.14.09 - Baltimore, MD - Sonar
04.15.09 - New York, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg
04.16.09 - New York, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg
04.17.09 - New York, NY --- Music Hall of Williamsburg
04.19.09 - New Haven, CT - Toad's Place
04.20.09 - Boston, MA - Paradise
04.21.09 - Boston, MA - Paradise
04.22.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Trocadero
04.23.09 - Covington, KY - Madison Theater
04.24.09 - Columbia, MO - The Blue Note
04.25.09 - Norman, OK - Norman Music Festival

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