In Most Disappointing News of the Day News, Warp Records’ Online Store, WarpMart, Merges with MP3 Si

Warp Records, home to such artists as Squarepusher, Aphex Twin, and Gang Gang Dance, recently merged their online store Warpmart with its MP3-peddlin’ sister site Bleep.com in celebration of Bleep.com’s fifth anniversary. Feeling somewhat obligated to actually look at the new website before writing this article, I was greatly disappointed when my browser pointed not to an online store for the Warped Tour, but to a regular ol’ respectable online music store. Now what will I do with all my lip-ring jokes and Scary Kids Scaring Kids quips?

I once went to Shabat at my local synagogue once and was surprised to discover a veritable gift store in the lobby, replete with Star of David beanie babies, Jordanic water bottles, and bedazzled yarmulkes. This is kind of what I was I was hoping for with Warpmart — you stop by to pick up your Less Than Jake tallit prayer shawl before entering the temple so that you’ll fit in.

The new mega-Bleep is regretfully absent of all Judeo-nu punk regalia, but check it out for yourself here.

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