Mott The Hoople Announce Two Anniversary Show Dates, Set Out To Prove To Kids That They’re More Than Just "That Band That Got Juno Soundtracked"

British Rock ‘n’ Roll 101 Professor: Okay, listen up students. Who can tell me the name of the band that released the song “All The Young Dudes” in 1972? And extra credit goes to anyone who can tell me what famous glam-rock star wrote the song?

Student #1: I love that song! I just listened to the Juno soundtrack the other day!

[Professor looks dumbfounded.]

Student #2: Ohmygod, like, you know that song was in Clueless too, right? Which is, like, so much better than Juno!

[Professor opens desk drawer and discreetly pulls out a gun.]

Student #3: Y’all are so wrong! I just saw that movie The Wackness with one of the Olsen twins and Method Man, and that bald dude, damn I forgot his name! But, anyway, I heard the song in that movie too!

[Professor cocks the trigger and aims the gun at his head.]

Professor: No, no, no! What is wrong with you, people?! “All The Young Dudes” was released by Mott The Hoople and written for them by David Bowie! They were about to break-up, and, and, and Bowie wrote them that song and revived their career! And now it’s considered one of the greatest songs of all time! God, you kids just don’t get it!! AHHHHH!!! [KA-BOOM.]

...

Save the life of a disgruntled college professor and go see Mott The Hoople’s two 40th anniversary shows in London this year. Tickets go on sale January 22.
10.02.09 – London, England – Hammersmith Apollo
10.03.09 – London, England – Hammersmith Apollo

Bush Tetras, David Thomas of Pere Ubu, Suicide Commandos and Skoal Kodiak Headline Show of the Year – And It’s Only January! OMG!

Living in a mid-sized Midwest city with a thriving, contemporary music scene and a storied past as a center for seminal 1980s punk groups like The Replacements and Hüsker Dü, eventually -- no matter who you are -- you start to hear stories about how someone you really admire, someone in, say, an influential no wave band lives in the same city as you. In this story, for example, that person would be Laura Kennedy, original bassist for the New York post-punk band Bush Tetras and recent liver transplant recipient. To help defray the costs of medical bills and to celebrate some damn good tunes, an extra special benefit is happening this Saturday at Nick & Eddie in Minneapolis.

It's a win-win situation: Ms. Kennedy gets the proceeds, you get to experience a lineup that would be the envy of any ATP attendee and its constant Jesus Lizard/My Bloody Valentine/Etc. reunions. Last fall, New York friends put on an another benefit for the Liver Fund, featuring legends like James Chance, Lenny Kaye, Voidoid Ivan Julian, Tetras drummer Dee Pop's Radio I-Ching, the B-52s' Pat Irwin, and the aforementioned Bush Tetras. Round 2 in Minneapolis features -- in addition to the headliners -- David Thomas of Pere Ubu, Suicide Commandos, and Skoal Kodiak. There's also a raffle, involving tons of fairly awesome prizes and an option to donate at the Laura Kennedy Liver Fund blog.

Tickets are available from First Ave, at local record stores Treehouse Records, The Electric Fetus and Eclipse Records, and at Nick & Eddie. Tickets will also be available at the door

01.17.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Nick & Eddie

Cursive Set Out To Tour – I Feel Bad For The Roadie In Charge of Tim Kasher’s Baggage

Singer Tim Kasher of Cursive has recorded some of my favorite vocal freak-outs of the past five years or so, and, hell, the band even used to feature a rocking cellist! Probably the best use of cello I've heard from a rock band of their variety whose name is Cursive. Indeed, when I was a teenager, filled with all that angst that goes with being a teenager, Cursive was there for me. For these personal reasons, I'm compelled to tell all of you out there to go partake in (a.k.a., buy tickets to) the latest Cursive tour, which has already begun and will continue through March. I can't report a release date for new material or anything, but they are indeed in the midst of recording their seventh full-length album.

Cursive Tour:
01.16.09 - Chicago, IL - Schuba's Tavern #
01.17.09 - Cleveland, OH - Grog Shop
01.18.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Union Hall #
01.19.09 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge #
01.20.09 - Philadelphia, PA - The Barbary #
01.21.09 - Columbus, OH - The Summit
01.22.09 - Columbia, MO - Mojo
01.23.09 - Omaha, NE - Slowdown
01.24.09 - Omaha, NE - Slowdown
03.09.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall Of Williamsburg
03.10.09 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
03.13.09 - Los Angeles, CA - The Troubadour
03.14.09 - San Diego, CA - The Casbah
03.15.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Rhythm Room
03.16.09 - Albuquerque, NM - The Launchpad

# sold out

Fantômas to Tour Down Under. If They Come Back to You, They’re Yours. If They Don’t, They Never Were and Never Liked You Anyway.

Sadly, after being inundated with questions concerning the alleged consumption of his own piss for years, the subject rarely rears its purple head in Mike Patton’s interviews these days. Nope, it’s all about the music and pushing envelopes now with the ever-ready Patton. And not even piss envelopes either! Sigh. That’s good, I guess -- it’s always a smart move to shake off any persistent and lazy interview pigeonholes -- but us part-time fetishists and new age nutritionists need some urine monologues before taking the plunge. I know everyone else is sick of it, but I really have no problems beating this dead horse for ’nother decade or two. Unfortunately, fans of "real" music news win out this time around, because Patton’s always exciting Fantômas combo will be playing some dates in Australia and New Zealand and that is more important than any crass showering of golden affection. No shit.

Fantômas -- Patton, with, presumably/possibly, Buzz Osbourne, Trevor Dunn, and Dave Lombardo or Terry Bozzio or Dale Crover -- will participate in Australia’s and New Zealand’s six-city Big Day Out Festival starting January 16 in Auckland, New Zealand and will also play a few side shows opening for System of a Down’s Serg Tankian while there (who is also playing Big Day Out, along with Neil Young, TV on the Radio, Arctic Monkeys, Hot Chip, Lupe Fiasco, The Prodigy, The Ting Tings, and a bunch of acts freeze-frothing at the mouths to scoot down under during this harsh winter chill). The Fantômas shows will feature 2001’s The Director’s Cut heady homage album in its entirety. While Patton will steal the scene on a hundred albums this year, there is no concrete news on when the next Fantômas album is due. Rumor has it set for June, but all dates are tentative at this time. Piss or get off the pot, Fantômas!

What a waste:
01.16.09 - Auckland, New Zealand - Big Day Out 2009
01.18.09 - Gold Coast, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
01.21.09 - Brisbane, Australia - The Tivoli #
01.23.09 - Sydney, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
01.24.09 - Sydney, Australia - Enmore Theatre #
01.25.09 - Melbourne, Australia - The Palace #
01.26.09 - Melbourne, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
01.30.09 - Adelaide, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
02.01.09 - Perth, Australia - Big Day Out 2009

# Serg Tankian

Warner Head Lyor Cohen Discusses “Flexible Pricing” Using the Chewbacca Defense. WHY?

Last week, we reported to you two days late about Apple's revelatory news of changing their pricing model from a fixed 99¢ to a "flexible" model of 69¢, 99¢, and 129¢. To make up for it, we're going to report on the industry response early. Why? Because we're awesome like that.

For its upcoming issue, Billboard sat down with Warner Chairman/CEO Lyor Cohen to discuss recent developments, including Apple's announcement, as well as their pulling out of YouTube. On the matter of Apple, Cohen said the exact following:

I think it's important to make sure that the consumer has a choice and that we have the flexibility to give them an offer that makes sense. It's very hard to explain to Jimmy Page why "Stairway to Heaven" is 99 cents and Chumbawamba is the same price.

Eh, let's put this whole thing into context. So, Jimmy Page is the "consumer" in question? And he wants to buy "Stairway to Heaven," his own song, for 99¢? And he has beef that a pseudo-anarchist band sold themselves (not just any song, the entire band itself) for the same price? And he wants some form of "choice" and "flexibility," even though he could just choose not to buy either?

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Chewbacca Defense.

Head explosions aside, Cohen did make some sense in the interview. For example, his wording has suggested that the labels have shown little-to-no interest in changing the iTunes pricing model on the album level, something that was unclear from Apple's official announcement and press release. Further, he amazingly admitted to the old industry practice of packaging singles with albums that could be at best described as "shoddy" and at worst as "why did I spend $15 on one good song?"

Then there's this slightly mind-bending nugget:

I would love to get to a point that when T.I. has 175 million impressions, I can for a one-month period bring the single up to $2.99 as a bundle [with other content] or cut it out like I used to if I feel good about the album.

Putting aside the fact that he is describing a business model that is done in every other frickin' part of the world, 175 million people like T.I.? I'm... the only word I can think of at this point is "horror," so I'll go with... "stupefied."

Animal Collective Wildly Expand Tour… On The Wrong Continent!

My eyes slowly open. It's morning, and the sun is streaming in through gaps in the curtains. I'm on my back, with her head resting partly on the pillow and partly on my shoulder, her left arm across my chest, and her legs tangled with mine. I feel her soft breath against my skin, smelling her musky perfume. The smell immediately transports me back to last night -- the unforgettable moments of carnal lust, the moments of softness and intimacy that only flows between two lovers. I bury my face in her hair, which has now spread out over her pillow, marveling at its richness, its softness, remembering how she had teased me with the end of her braid last night, sending jolts of sensual feeling coursing through me.

I lightly trail my fingertips over her stomach, watching the sensitized skin quiver at my touch, still enthralled by her beauty. As our lips meet, her mouth slowly opens wider, allowing my tongue to sensually twist with hers. But what starts out as a gentle dueling of tongues soon turns into a frantic devouring of each other. Her eyes shoot wide open as her arms wrap around me, holding my head still as her mouth leaves mine, her big blue eyes full of passion and lust, taking little bites of my neck as she presses and rubs her body against me.

“You’re so beautiful Merriweather Post Pavilion,” I say. "I'm so lucky to have you."

She didn't say a word, but I know she felt the same, too

01.16.09 - Paris, FR - Bataclan
01.17.09 - Leuven, BE - Stuk
01.18.09 - Berlin, DE - Postbahnhof
01.20.09 - New York, NY - Grand Ballroom
01.21.09 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom ^
01.22.09 - Chicago, IL - Metro
01.23.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Fonda Theater #
01.24.09 - Los Angeles, CA - The Troubadour !
03.04.09 - Oslo, NO - Rockerfeller
03.05.09 - Lund, SE - Mejeriet
03.06.09 - Copenhagen, DK - Amager Bio
03.08.09 - Cologne, DE - Gloria
03.09.09 - Heidelberg, DE - Karlstorbahnhof
03.10.09 - Fribourg, CH - Fri-Son
03.11.09 - Lucerne, CH - Konzerthaus Schuur
03.12.09 - Florence, IT - Viper Room
03.13.09 - Rome, IT - Auditorium -Teatro Studio
03.14.09 - Milan, IT - Rolling Stone
03.16.09 - Strasbourg, FR - Laiterie
03.17.09 - Amsterdam, NL - Paradiso
03.18.09 - Brussels, BE - Ancienne Belgique
03.19.09 - Lille, FR - Aeronef
03.20.09 - Nantes, FR - Olympic
03.22.09 - Bristol, UK - The Trinity
03.23.09 - Nottingham, UK - Rescue Rooms
03.24.09 - London, UK - The Forum
03.25.09 - Leeds, UK - TJs
03.26.09 - Liverpool, UK - The Static Gallery
03.27.09 - Dublin, IE - The Tripod
03.28.09 - Belfast, UK - Stiff Kitten
09.12.09 - Monticello, NY - All Tomorrow's Parties

! Rings

^ Drawlings

# Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti

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