MuchMusic Sneaks Into MTV’s Bedroom, Puts On Its Panties, And Proclaims, “I Have A Little Digital Download!”

As the years roll on, Canadian TV network MuchMusic still insists on following in MTV's footsteps. After years of following its American counterpart's footsteps by regurgitating its awful ideas — Headbanger's Ball, less music videos, more painful reality shows — MuchMusic is now partnering with PureTracks, a DRM-ridden digital music file provider, to infest the already saturated legal download market.

According to Billboard, the service went live on Wednesday, October 4, and has since been offering Canadians their low-quality audio for $0.79-$1.29 CAD per track. To kick things off, the network has a promotional offer of an exclusive Evanescence acoustic performance when you purchase their newest album. And we all know how much you beautiful TMT readers love Evanescence, don't we!

Since I'm in a generous mood, here's a bunch of EXCLUSIVE YouTube videos of Evanescence for you to sing along to:

EXCLUSIVE!!!

EXCLUSIVE!

ONLY FOR US!!!

Wow, would you get a load of that gothy goodness. Kinda makes me want to go and buy some digital files. Then I'll take those files and move them from one folder to another, then back again. I just love collecting data; it makes me incredibly hot. HOTTT.

Please send your amazing Evanescence bootlegs to chrislovesevanescence@gmail.com.

Thank you for your consideration, and have a great day.

P.S. - When I say "exclusive," I actually mean "inclusive." Does that help?

Trouble In Paradise? Live Nation’s Relationship With Ticketmaster on the Rocks

If you're anything like most TMT readers, you're probably trying to survive on a pretty tight budget. After all, how were you to have known that working at a used record store wouldn't immediately pay off those student loans? [Editor's Note: You probably work side by side with a TMT editor.] Sure, it's only a temporary gig. Either way, you still don't have an abundance of surplus cash lying around waiting to be stuffed into the already bulging pockets of a billion-dollar corporation. For this reason, I'm sure it's especially painful when you ask a friend how much you owe for getting you that ticket to this or that show or festival, coming up on this or that weekend, and your friend replies: "Well, the tickets themselves were only, like, eight dollars. But with all those service charges, you know... well... (takes bong rip) I'm going to need $66.50." (He exhales.)

And then it happens: the blood rushes to your head. You feel sick to your stomach. Everything turns a dark shade of purple. We've all been there, and as time passes, we can all agree that this shit is getting far too common. You can't afford to eat for the next two weeks, and meanwhile Ticketmaster is looking more and more like Jabba the Hut circa the beginning of Return of the Jedi. And then you wake up one day to find Ticketmaster has your sister parading around in a gold bikini and your best friend frozen in carbonite. (Your money paid for that gold bikini! And that carbonite!)

The good news? If Live Nation CEO Michael Rapino can be trusted (FYI: Live Nation is a Clear Channel spinoff, with some Clear Channel hot-shots behind the scenes), you might have a new ally in your quest to make it out of the ticket-buying process without losing a hand. Apparently disturbed by the statistic that 70% of people didn't attend a concert at all last year, Rapino recently told the L.A. Times that he is working to secure lower ticket prices for the nearly 30,000 concerts that LN produces annually.

Although Live Nation is legally bound to Ticketmaster, the contract between the two companies expires in 2008 — which, as luck would have it, is the perfect time for a Third Eye Blind/Sugar Ray double-reunion tour. If LN opts to do most of its own ticketing rather than renew a contract with TM(not T!), prices for this super-tour and others could drop significantly. At any rate, service charges look to be substantially lower than the 25-35% TM has become notorious for demanding.

Take heart, hungry reader; 2008 isn't so far away. And in the meantime, enjoy some Ramen.

Belligerent Brits Block Beck’s Beautifully Bronzed Bizooty

Although most people have been finding the packaging for Beck's new album "innovative," "unique," or "whatever," the UK's Official Chart Company (OCC) has chosen to describe it as "unfair." The Information [TMT review] was released in the UK on Monday and features a blank cover which can then be customized using either one's own feces or an included sticker sheet. The album also includes a bonus DVD with remarkably unremarkable videos for every song. Presumably, these extras were included to give people another incentive to actually purchase the album, which is the kind of sensible marketing strategy that should get all money-grubbing, suit-wearing fatties excited.

Not so, in the land of the spotted dick. The OCC has ruled that Beck's new album is not eligible to be listed on any UK charts. The reason they give is that The Information has an "unfair advantage" due to its inclusion of bonus material. It has been speculated that the underlying reason for this ruling is that the OCC's Koosh basketball hoop broke and they needed to vent.

A valid point is indeed brought up, however, about Beck's new cover art. When I'm browsing through my local record shoppe, the first thing I notice about a CD is what's on the cover. Now, I might plausibly be reaching over for a stack of Oasis CDs when what will catch my eye and redirect my purchase but the CD with the completely blank cover. Now, that's just wrong. Time to play by the rules, Beck.

The OCC is currently planning a follow-up campaign to pull The Information off the shelves entirely, due to it containing an unreasonable number of "pleasing rhythms."

Indie Rock Draft Results In: Weiss To Jicks, Bolme To Quasi, Newsom To Raiders

Hey, college boy! This'll make you sit up in your '70s office chair and push your horn-rimmed glasses (with one arm taped on) back up your nose. Janet Weiss, drummer for sadly defunct college rock band Sleater-Kinney, has taken on drumming duties with non-defunct college rock band The Jicks! But, in some kind of bonus-value-added trade, the reason she's joining college rock band The Jicks is because John Moen, ex-drummer with college rock band The Jicks, has joined college rock band The Decemberists!

Don't forget that Janet Weiss is still drumming with college-rock band Quasi. And, and, and, Joanna Bolme, bassist with college rock band The Jicks, has taken to joining college rock band Quasi on tour.

Janet Weiss, ex-drummer for college rock band Sleater-Kinney and now drummer with college rock band The Jicks, had this to say: "Steve [Malkmus, leader of college rock band The Jicks] has got a bunch of ballsy new songs. I'm enjoying getting inside a new and very different brain, trying to find the drum parts that suit his creativity. I appreciate how far out and wild he gets with his playing, and look forward to forging into some new territory." Wild? Far-out? I can only assume that the next Jicks album is going to be a radical selection of totally tubular surf-rock licks.

If you're still confused about all the a-movin' and the a-shakin', check out the useful diagram below. Print it off! Put it in your pocket! Impress your friends with your handy knowledge!

SNL Audition? What Can’t Chan Marshall Do? Oh Yeah… Take Care of Herself… (Just Kidding, Cattie! I’ll Buy Ya a Snickers Bar!)

Chan Marshall recently told the New York Times that she is planning to audition for Saturday Night Live. She looks like she has the power to play a driving cat to me!

"Honey, you won't believe it! Chan can drive a car!"

"What? Really?"

"See, I told you she could drive!"

"Chan! Lookout!"

CRASH!!!

"I Thought you said she could drive?"

"Well I thought she could, I saw her messing around with the steering wheel and I guess I just assumed she could drive..."

"It's okay honey, anybody would think that"

"Hey look, there she goes again."

"I guess she can drive!"

"Yeah, just not very well..."

CRASH!!!

Aww... she broke Matador's leg.

Well, now our lovable Chan is back on track, no longer chasing spirits with sage. She is already done with her next album, Sun, which will feature a few James Brown and Billie Holliday covers. Oh, and Matador Records is planning to re-release The Greatest with a new cover! YES I LOVE TO LOOK AT NEW THINGS!!! She has also received an offer to star in the first English project by Hong Kong-based director Wong Kar-wai. The flick's called My Blueberry Nights and she would be playing Jude Law's ex-lover. Apparently, Kar-wai makes the whole cast listen to The Greatest before shooting it. Sweet. I heard they did the same thing for Open Season. Looks like things are looking up for Cat Power!

Live from the following venues... it's music!!!

10.28.06 - Las Vegas, NV - Vegoose Festival @#$%
11.01.06 - London, UK - Roundhouse @
11.03.06 - Amsterdam, NL - Paradiso @
11.04.06 - Brussels, BE - Ancienne Belgique @
11.05.06 - Paris, FR - Grand Rex @
11.06.06 - Berlin, Germany - Volksbuhne @
11.07.06 - Zurich, Switzerland - Kaufleuten @
11.09.06 - New York, NY - Avery Fisher Hall (Bob Dylan Tribute) *^
11.16.06 - Memphis, TN - New Daisy Theatre @
11.17.06 - Asheville, NC - The Orange Peel @
11.18.06 - Athens, GA - 40 Watt Club @
11.19.06 - Carboro, NC - Cat's Cradle @
11.20.06 - Washington, DC - 930 Club (early show) @
11.22.06 - Toronto, ONT - Phoenix Concert Club @
11.23.06 - Montreal, QUE - Metropolis @
11.25.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Orpheum Theatre @
11.26.06 - San Fracisco, CA - Fillmore (early show) @
11.26.06 - San Francisco, CA - Fillmore (late show) @
11.28.06 - Seattle, WA - Showbox @
11.29.06 - Vancouver, BC - Commodore (early show) @
12.02.06 - Barcelona, Spain - Primavera Club CCIB
12.07.06 - Rennes, FR - Transmusicale Festival &?

@ w/ Memphis Rhythm Band... yeah
# w/ Tom Petty... haha, what?
$ w/ Widespread Panic... haha, what?
% w/ The Killers... haha, what?
* w/ Patti Smith... bad ass!!!
^ w/ Phillip Glass... holy what?!?!
& w/ Judah Bauer (JSBX)... no comment really
? w/ Jim White (Dirty Three) ... that guy should really change his name. I thought he was Jack White and I almost bought myself a Coke before I realized my mistake.

Universal Announces Plan to Replace the Word “Band” with “Brand”; Big Brother Calls the Move “Doubleplusgood”; Et Tu, Of Montreal?

I was watching TV the other night when I noticed one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. It wasn't Famine or War. Hell, I see those guys every day, so that's not even news. No, it was a little-known harbinger of the judgment about the befall us — a guy called "bastardized version of an Of Montreal song in an Outback Steakhouse commercial." Come on, don't pretend you don't watch TV. You saw it, too, and, like me, you wondered whether someone had slipped some acid into your Diet Coke. Well, instead of flipping my Electric Kool-Aid shit, I just Googled "Of Montreal" and "Outback Steakhouse" — terms that, combined, should probably never yield any results. Stereogum confirmed that I wasn't tripping but couldn't explain why the designs on my wallpaper were moving. So fine, yeah, whatever; Kevin Barnes thought it was funny. Of Montreal can do no wrong. I'm trying to forget that I ever saw it.

It's getting pretty difficult to put it out of my mind, though, now that I've realized what the horseman was warning us about. Apparently, our pals at Universal, a.k.a. the world's biggest music company, feel like they're not getting enough mileage out of the term "selling out." Universal will team up with advertising company WPP to form a music and marketing behemoth they're calling "BrandAmp." I guess they figured that the cool thing that all the kids are doing is combining two words without a space in between them. You know... MySpace; YouTube. This shit can't fail. As currently conceived, the project would allow advertisers direct access to Universal's back catalog, with plans in the works to involve other artists and record labels in the future. It makes one wonder whether any of Universal's artists are going to make some noise about this. Certainly anyone signed to the world's fattest-ass record company is no MDC, but this is a pretty huge violation. I mean, please, someone defend my right not to hear PJ Harvey hawking for Wet Seal and Jurassic 5 convincing me to eat at the Olive Garden!

Well, at least we can find some solace in the words of Lucian Grainge, head of Universal's international division. "This new venture makes sense on many levels," he said. "It brings together two creative communities which are driven by innovation and imagination." Ohhh, that's right. Universal and some advertising company are "creative communities." They're practically artists' communes! And all they're doing is getting together to do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight. Sheesh, and here I was thinking that this was just some crass corporate bullshit. Thanks, Lucian. I feel a lot better now.

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