This particular scribe would like to be serious for a moment. The writers here at Tiny Mix Tapes periodically enjoy a hearty guffaw, and we try our best to keep the proceedings lighthearted. Occasionally our jabs strike too low, but we're unapologetic. Well, this writer is, anyway. This furor, of course, is related to a story currently being written about a coalition of musicians who plan to "Rock the Net," or, more realistically, speak out in support of Net Neutrality. Let me share some choice comments we're expecting over what may result in a promenade down hilarity lane:
"fuk offf slutz ,net neutrality is lame"
"wut t3h fuk is net newtralty???//??"
"0mgwtfbbq netnutrltee"
"Quite frankly, I feel the previous commenter's use of Oh My God, What the Fuck, Barbecue a little offensive. And rude."
The second comment is somewhat relevant. Just what the fuck is net neutrality? Pull up a chair, junior, let me tell you a story. Currently, the internet is set up so that everyone's on the same playing field. Wal-Mart's website, for example, works just the same as the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's. That open structure is the beauty of it. But there has been a recent surge in lobby groups attempting to make the internet ‘tiered,' so that you can pay for better service. Doing so would require making the internet's underlying protocol "intelligent," even though it's been working just fine for nearly 17 years with the IQ of a peanut. The way it works right now, one piece of data, or ‘packet,' is no different than the next. Making the protocol intelligent makes currently useless ‘nodes' more desirable for exploitation because they can actually control traffic. It's a vicious circle. And Ted Leo wants to stop it -- well, he and 300 other artists and labels like Calexico, Del Tha Funky Homosapien, Bloodshot Records, The Locust, Merge Records, The Kronos Quartet, and that group with the guy who lost his religion... and had a thing for shiny, happy people.
Together, the musicians plan to help Edward Markey (D-Mass) show Congress how net neutrality has allowed web businesses to thrive. Beyond the implications on independent music, a divided internet would stifle creativity, limit new opportunities, and destroy the freedom that made it possible in the first place. That and Ted Stevens still needs somewhere to dump his internet off with his big truck.
