My Essay About Gang Gang Dance For Mrs. Emma’s Class That I Hope You Like

Hello, in this essay I will try to show that Gang Gang Dance are a musical band that have many influences and also how they are influencing many other musical bands with their innovation. Firstly, they made a CD last year, and it was very innovative. Secondly, they made a DVD now, but it is not out yet. Thirdly, Gang Gang Dance will be on an October tour soon and also for the beginning of November.

Firstly, they made a CD last year, and it is very innovative. The CD was made by The Social Registry, and it was called God's Money [TMT Review] from last year, 2005. Tiny Mixed Tapes, which is a music website for the internet, like Gang Gang Dance very much. Tiny Mixed Tapes said that Gang Gang Dance is the 4th of the best albums in 2005.

Secondly, they made a DVD now, but it is not out yet. In December, they were going to sell Retina Riddim, which is what the DVD is called, but now it is not a DVD yet. Now it is a DVD in January. Retina Riddim is a movie and has a tremendous amount of songs on it, and it is in part a movie of concepts. One can go to a Gang Gang Dance show instead, and then you can buy a CD-R version from Gang Gang Dance of Retina Riddim.

Thirdly, Gang Gang Dance will be on an October tour soon and also for the beginning of November. Gang Gang Dance will be playing songs firstly in Columbus, secondly in Chicago, thirdly in Minneapolis, fourthly in Milwaukee, and fifthly through eighthly, they will be playing songs in very many other places.

10.26.06 - Columbus, OH - Little Brother's
10.27.06 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle
10.28.06 - Minneapolis, MN - Walker Art Center
10.29.06 - Milwaukee, WI - Shank Hall
10.30.06 - Oberlin, OH - Oberlin College
10.31.06 - Toronto, ON - Lee's Palace
11.01.06 - Montreal, QB - La Sala Rosa
11.02.06 - New York, NY - Webster Hall *

* also there will be Hot Chip there

In conclusion, Gang Gang Dance are a musical band that have many influences and are influenced towards other bands too. Thank you for reading my essay about Gang Gang Dance for Mrs. Emma's class, and I hope you have liked to read it.

Instal Festival Kicks Off Tonight; Showcases Today’s Most Innovative Underground Musicians (You Know, Probably Groups Like The Postal Service And Stuff)

It's that time of the year again. Time for all those people with better ideas and cooler names than you to descend upon The Arches in Glasgow for a weekend of free jazz, restricted noise, and comfortably snug experimentation. Last year's Instal Festival brought the likes of Sun City Girls, Birchville Cat Motel, and spotlight-hog Jandek under one roof; and this year's line-up looks comparably juicy. Avant-garde acts from all over the world have been chosen to perform, and in many cases they'll be collaborating with one another on stage. Interesting pairings like Keiji Haino and Tony Conrad are the name of this year's game.

In addition to the main stage festivities, on Friday and Saturday night there will be a special Incest Infest Stage highlighting emerging underground musical artists specifically from Scotland and the rest of the UK. Notable playas on this stage include Birds of Delay (because I've seen them once) and Kylie Minoise (because LOL). For the small number of TMT readers that are not based in Glasgow, Instal will kindly be providing free downloads of all the performances on their web site.

Main Stage:

Friday, 10.13.06:

Blood Stereo + Ludo Mich

Ellen Fullman + Sean Meehan

Nmperign (pictured) + Jason Lescalleet

Oshiri Penpenz

Saturday, 10.14.06:

Lee Patterson

Steve Baczkowski + Ravi Padmanabha

Lethe

Keiji Haino + Tony Conrad

The Bohman Brothers

Jazkamer

Sunday, 10.15.06:

Tetsuya Umeda

Sachiko

Arrington de Dionyso

Kuwayama + Kijima

Eye Contact

Maryanne Amacher

Infest Stage:

Friday, 10.13.06:

Usurper

Jazzfinger

Polly Shang Kuan Band

Wounded Knee

Kylie Minoise

NOMA + Shareholder

Saturday, 10.14.06:

Red Kites

Birds of Delay + Nackt Insecten

Hockyfrilla

Ben Reynolds

Opaque

Picture: Seth Tisue

Fatherly Act of Love, or Sign of the Apocalypse? You Be the Judge While David Bowie Does Voice-Overs for Spongebob Squarepants

Who's joining with Nicktoons to fill kids with glee? (Da-vid Bo-wie)

A voice on an upcoming special is he! (Da-vid Bo-wie)

...okay, I've only seen the show like once in my life, so I can't go much farther with my alternate theme song bit. Regardless, I think that in those two short lines, I said all there really is to say. Yes, David Bowie will soon be joining the long list of seemingly reputable musical artists to affiliate themselves with that which is at the same time a child's dream come true and a tailor's worst nightmare: David Bowie is going to be on Spongebob Squarepants.

The Thin White Duke will be uniting with The Rectilinear Yellow Sponge for an upcoming special in which he will lend his voice to a character who goes by the name "Lord Royal Highness" — a title that suits Bowie 30 years ago more so than today, but no matter. Furthermore, Bowie claims that he accepted the role because his six-year old daughter is a fan of the show. You know, when I was six, I asked my dad if he would do a guest spot on Salute Your Shorts for me as a half-birthday present, and what do you think the old fart said? "That's impossible, son, I love you but..." Yeah, but nothin'. Save it for our therapist, asshole. Jesus, all I wanted was a fatherly show of affection. Apparently David Bowie loves his kids enough for that. I'm too upset to continu

99 Problems, But an Eggroll Ain’t One! That’s Probably the Joke That Got Jay-Z Banned in China

The Jigga-man himself is once again the victim in a dispute with goofy, GOOFY China. Jay-Z's scheduled performance at Shanghai's Honkou Stadium on October 23 has been hella cancelled. However, this time around Jahova wasn't discriminated because he "was black," or because he was "driving 55 in a 54." (You know... that line has always bothered me.) Anyway, China disapproved of Jay-Z's rompish lyrics and declared the rapper too vulgar for the Communist country.

China has been censoring the arts and the media since the senselessly racist Wang Chung had their senselessly racist mega-hit "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight (That's What Every Guy's Name Is In China)." If you recall, the FCC did not go as far as to ban the song in America, but instead made a deal where those bastard racists removed the parenthetical. And in actualness, The Rolling Stones were almost banned earlier this year as well. But they weren't because they agreed not to play their filthy sex anthems, "Honkey Tonk Women" and "Brown Sugar." (And then Cockle wrote an amazing review of it!)

Jay-Z, real name Sean Carter (that's news in itself!), was probably smoking a fatty when he heard this news, and I'm going to go out on a limb and assume he was crushed. Poor man was probably waiting for the Chinese Culture Ministry to josh him big with a clichéd, "I make joke/ I go pee pee in your coke." Funny story, but my Asian friend Paul actually did that to me once.

In due respect to rapper/mogul/retiree/Jayonce/out-of-retirement/we-get-it Jay's current turmoil, I have rewritten the lyrics to the date-rape classic "Big Pimpin" to make it racist of the postmodern sort (ex: haha, world is all good, haha):

"Big Pimpin (Nasty China Version)" feat. emceegreg and Three-six Mafia:

You know I

Thug em

FUCK em

Hug em

Leave em

Cause I don't FUCKIN' need em

Woodchucks chuck wood

But China ain't no good

Yeah, I don't FUCKIN' feed em

They wanna start a fuss I'm breezin'

Talking 'bout

Censorship reasons

I'm a pimp all over the world, BITCH

I don't trust or believe em

In my butt, that's where I keep em

'Til I need to nut

All up in that China gut

Y'all be frontin'

Me give my heart to a Chinaman

Not for nothin'

Never happened

I be forever whackin'

More hardcore than anal assassins

I got no passion

You're just no longer finger lickin?

When I boycott General Tso's chicken

Ho get your ass in

And let's RI-I-I-I-I-IDE

(This is the chorus guys)

We doin' Big pimpin

I don't like the Chinese

Kick em out now

Big pimpin'

Smokin' some trees

We doin' Big pimpin' I think I gots a disease

It's just that Jigga-man

Jackie Chan and maybe Jet Li

Check em out now (Repeat)

Tourdates (other parts of the world don't mind the nasty):

10.13.06 - Durban, SAF - ABSA Stadium
10.14.06 - Johannesburg, SAF - Coca Coloa Dome
10.18.06 - Bangkok, THA - BEC-Thero Hall
10.20.06 - Seoul, SKO - Gayagum Concert Hall
10.21.06 - Taipei, TAI - Taipei Super Dome
10.25.06 - Sydney, AUS - Sydney Entertainment Centre *
10.26.06 - Brisbane, AUS - Brisbane Entertainment Centre *
10.27.06 - Brisbane, AUS - Brisbane Entertainment Centre *
10.28.06 - Melbourne, AUS - Rod Laver Arena *

* w/ Roc Tha Block

Summer Hymns to Release 4th LP, TMT News Writer Devoid of Inspiration

Summer Hymnal is out on Misra on the November 21st.

[Editor's Note: Okay, this is the last straw. For one: the album is called Backward Masks. You're telling me you couldn't check AllMusic? At least you got the date and label right. Oh, and can we at least mention that they are from Athens, GA? Or that they play southern-tinged dream-pop?]

Totally Real Tracklist:

1. Take My Life and Let Me Be
2. Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
3. Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus
4. A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
5. Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
6. Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
7. When Peace, Like a Trickle
8. I'm Fairly Certain that My Redeemer Lives
9. Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness
10. Blest Be the Tie that Doesn't Cramp My Style
11. What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus

[Editor's Note: Okay, you are double-fired now. That's not the tracklist. This is:

1. Way You Walk
2. Pity and Envy
3. Start Swimming
4. Darkness Comes
5. Fearanoia
6. Bombay Brown India Ink
7. Limousine
8. New Way
9. Ice Age World
10. 14 Inches of Snow
11. Pheromones Induced
12. When the Bombs Fall

Again, all I had to do was check Allmusic. That's not inspiration. It's called fact-checking.]

[Oh, and I hate emo.]

Bronfman Went A-Courtin’ and He Did Ride, Uh Huh, Uh Huh. Merger News + Bronfman = I Just Popped a Semi!

The United States, tired of outsourcing only American jobs in both production and information technology, has made a bold move: outsourcing a sense of moral indignation over records! EMI Virgin India Ltd (based in Mumbai) has declared it will recall all copies of Slayer's new album, Christ Illusion. The victims? The Catholic Secular Forum — helpfully identified as a Christian group by Billboard.com — is makin' it happen! CSF General Secretary Joseph Dias issued a statement taking "strong exception" to the album cover as well as the track "Skeleton Christ." He cites the lyrics as "an insult to Christianity." According to various virus-infested internet sites, said lyrics include, "I laugh at the abortion known as Christianity/ I've seen the ways of God/ I'll take the devil any day/ Hail Satan." Slayer: the band to turn to for delightfully subtle critiques on this modern culture.

The CSF wants everyone to know that they have everyone's best interests in mind, as the album "will affect the sensibilities of Muslims on the track to 'Jihad' and secular Indians who have respect for all faiths." As a Jew, I am personally offended that there are no tracks belittling my people, clearly proving that in the end Slayer are anti-Semites. EMI Virgin India Ltd, come to my aid!

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