Neko Case to Tour with Merle Haggard; Haggard Voted “Sexiest Babe of Country” in Playboy’s 2006 Poll

So, Merle, how goes it? Oh, I'm doing pretty good man. Pretty fucking good. BURP] Hey, good to hear that! I'm also doing good. Hey, TMT's website is looking pretty sweet. Shitty you have to do ads, but what can you do, right? Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so what is it that you want? Well, Merle, I kinda have a beef with you. BEEF? WHAT BEEF? BEEF? THERE'S NO BEEF. Merle, stop doing that Seinfeld impression; I'm serious here. I just want to know... What? What is it Mango? Well, Merle, Neko is kinda mad at you. Uh oh, because of that fire joke? It was just a fuckin' -- No, no. Then why is she mad at me? Okay, let me show you an excerpt from her [official website, Merle:
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You see, Merle, Neko is excited about her tour with you. Look at all them exclamation points! ... Merle? MERLE!!! Stop looking at my crotch and look at them exclamation points! Alright, you see, the problem is Neko thinks you don't give a shit about her. But, but why? Well, for starters, you don't even mention her on your website!! You'd rather muscle some Haggard fan to relinquish a MySpace address than even mention her in both your news section and tour section. Merle? Merle!! Seriously, stop staring at my fucking crotch and listen to me! You're being weird. Sorry Mango. It's quite the crotch. Um, I'll pretend I didn't hear that... okay Merle, if you want to make up with Neko, here's what you have to mention on your website:

- Neko just finished an Australian tour with The New Pornographers but is going back to Australia with a 6-piece band in January.
- New West Records released Neko's Austin City Limits performance on DVD.
- Neko will be part of New York's American Songbook Series at the Lincoln Center. She'll play two shows.

Think you can handle that, Merle? I think I can. As long as I get a taste... A taste of what, Merle? I'm really craving mango, if you know what I mean. Hmm, you want a mango? I can run to the store and grab you one. No, no, Mango.. I want your... you know... Oh, my mango drink that's in the fridge? Shit's pretty good if you want to try some. Here let me -- No, no, no... just forget it. No, c'mon, tell me. Hey, forget it alright? Are you sure? Yeah. I think I hear Neko coming anyway.

Neko Case tourdates:

Oh snap, he meant my penis!

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