Grizzly Bear, My Second Favorite “Bear” Artist, Are Set To Embark on A Three-Month Tour
By Scout Leader Kyle on 08-10-2007
Naming trends are incredibly fun in the music world. One has to wonder if we'll eventually run out of words in the English language to accompany the myriad of bands that are sure to keep forming until the very End of Time. I suppose we can continue borrowing from other languages (e.g. Telefon Tel Aviv, Xiu Xiu, Les Savy Fav, Gastr Del Sol, Le Tigre, etc.), but this undoubtedly brings up other problems such as registering domain names, and everyone knows about those goddamn cyber squatters and why the internet is running out of addresses. And then, probably most prevalent in our world, there's the problem with band names all using the same words, like "wolf."
I could list some "wolf" bands, but we're not talking about wolves today. We're talking about bears. As I mentioned in the headline, my favorite "bear" artist isn't Grizzly bear. No, my friend, it's Panda Bear. Besides, onclick="window.open('http://www.fragilityproductions.com/weblog/pandabear.htm','popup','width=360,height=341,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false">he's much cuter than that Grizzly Bear dude (Dan Rosen), and his autograph is also a cute li'l panda! Aw. But alas, we're talking about Grizzly Bear and their tasty brand of rock that so many people have come to love. Here at TMT, we crowned their 2006 release, Yellow House, number seven on our favorite albums of 2006, and Filmore gave the album a solid four outta five in his review. With a TMT track record like that, how can you go wrong with Grizzly Bear? You can't -- you just can't.
Check out Grizzly Bear in these fine cities:
(As far as the naming of Grizzly Bear goes, I'd much rather have a more original name like Grizzly Poot, and as far as Panda Bear goes, I'd also prefer something like Panda Poot. I just think "poot" is a much better word than "bear." Besides pandapoot.com is totally available. So aspiring indie artists, name your band Panda Poot and you'll get to the top. I promise. You better hurry though; Yahoo is having a domain sale, and I just might squat on the domain until you can cough up enough cash and casual sex for me to give it to you. Think about it, kiddies.)
YouTube To Host Amateur Hip-Hop Contest, P. Diddy to Watch, To Be Inspired by the Passionate Hip-Hop Youth, To Get Back With J Lo and Stop Channeling Latent Sexual Frustration into New Seasons of Making the Band; or Shoezies are an Undisputed Favorite of Indie Culture
By AJ Pacitti on 08-10-2007
There are few things, reader, baby, sweetheart, that you and I get hot-pants over more than a good old-fashioned, itchy-spicy-good,
Well-Intentioned, Sure-to-Fail, Bad Idea.
Take Shoezies. A few years ago, someone at Hasbro thought kids would get a kick out of (literally) miniature shoes you could fit on your fingers and pretend to walk around with on coffee tables, and the like.
...
Shoezies were, in all honesty, just mini-shoes that little girls would put on their fingers, and pretend were shoes.
...
THIS IS NOT A JOKE. That was it. Mini-shoes, in mini-shoeboxes.
...
Without further ado, allow me to introduce a similarly smooth ‘n’ tasty little cultural Robo-trip, a most filthy, stagnant gulp from ye rusted goblet of The Way Things Are, in the same vein as my wicked-fav finger shoes.
YouTube plans to host a hip-hop-it-don’t-stop competition: You Tube “OnTheRise” Rap Edition, which will allow unsigned artists to upload videos and be judged by such jam-tastic greats (...) as 50 Cent, Common, and Polow da Don, who will select 20 finalists from the broz and (probably only there for novelty) hoz who choose to apply. YouTube members will vote August 29, and a winner will be announced September 7.
The contest is open for entry August 10 (today), and will close in, yes, seven days, which, is prolific as shit.
So, what’s the earth-shattering Shoezie-type dilemma of a well-intentioned competition that could shoot a worthy lad or lady to blingtastic stardom?
People like me may apply.
Okay, seriously, I would never apply, but I still smell a Shoezie-type dilemma in this cultural waste product. YouTube has proven itself a hotbed for potty-mouthed frat-boy humor, and I can only imagine how THIS SHITFEST will just... desecrate... everything Curtis Jackson’s dollar-splittin’ success stands for.
Like, sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.
Vitamin Water, and more importantly, providing appropriate background music for bad-ass 14 year olds in Lee Pipes sitting in their basement with friends (who are also in Lee Pipes), huffing paper bags colored with Hi-liter.
Hip-hop will be so dead, fellas.
