New York Governor Signs “Truth in Music” Law, Sha Na Na Fans No Longer Discussing Theories on Multiple Existences

New York governor Eliot Spitzer has recently positioned himself in the ever-lumpy, faded, and urine-smelling armchair of fruitless music rights championing.

In an effort to defend the forgettable rights of music-makers Sha Na Na (of Grease... acclaim), The Coasters, and The Platters, Spitzer recently John Hancocked the Truth in Music Law, which fines bands up to $15,000 for passing themselves off as these and other acts they’re in no way affiliated with.

In other words, imposter acts in cheaper toupees are (apparently) posing as the aforementioned B-listers and profiting off their name.

And get this, enlightened precious TMT reader:

THIS HAPPENS A LOT.

Which is preposterous, considering how BIG Sha Na Na is/was, and the plethora of Jon Bauman spreads to grace a Tiger Beat.* I mean, ladies and gents, he was the host of Hollywood Squares, which trumps any ab-pumping David Cassidy pin-up.

Let’s be real. Your parents probably got wasted at the Sha Na Na reunion show, stood in a mosh pit thick with the smothering pungency of b.o. and Old Spice, the drenched armpits of your dad’s Tommy Bahama shirt flailing. Your mom probably threw (sensible) panties onstage.

THE REAL PROBLEM: Those pesky imposters are stealing sloppy rock ‘n’ roll blowjobs from sexually-charged forty-somethings with fried hair, pleather jackets, and menthol cigarette breath.

YOUR REAL PROBLEM: You don’t want your mom blowing a phony Jon Bauman.

*Yea... no.

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