[Automated voicemail response commences:]
Thank you for calling the No Response Festival Hotline regarding No Response Festival 2017.
No one is currently available to take your call, because all representatives are currently busy making the announcement that 2017’s edition of the No Response Festival will take place this June 16-17 at Cincinnati, Ohio’s historic Woodward Theater.
If you would like to hear a strained, bowling-related metaphor concerning how Friday night will “set-‘em-up” with Genesis Breyer P-Orridge w/ Edley O’Dowd, Yoshi Wada w/ Nate Wooley, Graham Lambkin, and Bill Nace w/ Twig Harper, while Saturday will “knock-‘em-down” with Hijokaidan, Borbetomagus, MV Carbon, and Jason Lescalleet, please speak the words “Tiny. Mix. Tapes.” into your telephone…now.
If you are calling to purchase tickets or to follow No Response Fest on Twitter for more updates, please hang up immediately and go get on the internet instead.
For several audio/visual samples from last year’s iteration of No Response Festival, or to view a richly detailed poster (designed by artist Robert Beatty) depicting this year’s event in more detail, simply stay on the line (because here all that shit is, right here):